Best friend Kissing Flirting with my crush knowing that I like her

[joseph1912]

Hi, I'm Joseph, I'm 17 years old and I'm a Senior. Thank you for stopping by.

Please do not reply unless you read the whole thing, thanks.

 

Let's name Joe as be my best friend and my crush would be Laura.

 

Basically I told my friend 2 months ago that I really liked this girl in our class, me and Laura used to text for hours every day. So I told my friend to talk to her to ask her how she feels about me, she said that she wanted to be friends with me and I accepted it. 2 weeks later I told Laura that I liked her and since she doesn't want anything with me I'll TRY to let go and be friends with her. A couple days before I told her I went to a party and they were dancing really sexually like they usually do where I live (south america, reggaeton) and since Laura likes to dance a lot I didn't really give it much importance.. But that'll matter later. So a couple days after I told that I would try to be friends with her to Joe and he said ok and everything went normal. Last week, they kept flirting in school (even before I told that I'd try to be friends with Laura) So last friday we went to another party and we were playing truth or dare, we had an iPhone app for this so I had no control over it. And it dared them to kiss her in the neck, he did not hesitate and kissed her in the neck, I was furious, after 20 minutes of playing another dare came up and it was a regular kiss (no tongue) and again, he did it without hesitation. I was really REALLY pissed but I kept it together. Then when they played the music they started dancing sexually again, again I thought the same as before but this time If I went inside to dance they went outside, if I went outside then they went inside... So I stayed inside and they went outside again.. They were dancing by themselves and I told a friend to go outside and pretend to be on the phone to check on them. I could partially see them from inside but my friend told me they were kissing. When he told me that I was already drunk and I snapped. I left the party and took a cab home (I was supposed to leave with Joe) So when I get home Laura texts me and says "what's wrong" I just ignored her that night and since we use "Whatsapp" she can see if I view the message or not.. I was incredibly pissed the whole weekend and felt betrayed and back-stabbed. On saturday she kept almost begging me to talk to her.. Even called me a few times and she doesn't like talking on the phone. Joe tried to talk to me and I ignored his messages (he noticed) . Sunday past and nothing, she just said 'are you okay?" and I left the message there. I also blocked her from Facebook that same day and I don't think she noticed. Joe talked to me Sunday afternoon he talked to me and I told him that a "friend" doesn't do that and he said that it was my fault because I told him that I was going to TRY to be her friend (but still i don't think he that dumb that I can get over a girl 3 days after I told him that I was going to TRY to be her friend) Yesterday I completely ignored them, not even looked at them and they noticed this. Either way, they kept flirting and sitting next to each other on every class and recess.. I unblocked her from facebook (since I thought i was childish) and messaged her that I was pissed and that I didn't know blocking someone unfriends them.. Then she replied that we was sorry that she hurt me and that she didn't want to lose me as a friend. I told her that I need some time and I will probably won't talk to her in a while. Today, the same happened, they kept flirting and sitting next to each other... I told this to some of my other good friends and 2 of them stopped talking with Joe and Laura and one of them said that I had to move on and keep being friends with them and the other one said to completely ignore them.. The other one didn't say much and he keeps talking with her.. I blame them both because she did this to me with my best friend and I blame Joe for doing this knowing that I like her.

 

Thank you for reading and any advice helps

 

Joseph

[LFH]

She doesn't like you that way. She's not obligated to not like someone she does like simply because you have feelings for her. She should be considerate and not flaunt it in your face.

 

Your friend isn't acting like a very good friend to you though. I'm sorry he treated your feelings with disrespect, but at the same time, it's not like he is keeping her from you. She wasn't interested.

 

Don't get your other friends involved, that's inappropriate and is childish.

 

You can't make someone like you and you can't police your friends to keep them from liking the same girls you do. You should assess whether or not he's been a good friend to you in other ways and if this is a behavior you see him do with other things. If it's not, then maybe an honest heart to heart conversation with him about it, maybe he really cares for her. Why do your feelings get to trump his?

 

Also, I know she seems important right now, but she's just a crush. I know it hurts, but she's not your girlfriend. In a couple years, she isn't going to matter at all. In a couple WEEKS she may not matter. How long has he been your friend?

[joseph1912]

She doesn't like you that way. She's not obligated to not like someone she does like simply because you have feelings for her. She should be considerate and not flaunt it in your face.

 

Your friend isn't acting like a very good friend to you though. I'm sorry he treated your feelings with disrespect, but at the same time, it's not like he is keeping her from you. She wasn't interested.

 

Don't get your other friends involved, that's inappropriate and is childish.

 

You can't make someone like you and you can't police your friends to keep them from liking the same girls you do. You should assess whether or not he's been a good friend to you in other ways and if this is a behavior you see him do with other things. If it's not, then maybe an honest heart to heart conversation with him about it, maybe he really cares for her. Why do your feelings get to trump his?

 

Also, I know she seems important right now, but she's just a crush. I know it hurts, but she's not your girlfriend. In a couple years, she isn't going to matter at all. In a couple WEEKS she may not matter. How long has he been your friend?

 

I know it's childish, but it was their own choice, I did not tell them to do that.

 

He has been my friend for 5 years.