Mint Sauce Posted March 6, 2013 Share Posted March 6, 2013 no attempts at eloquent blahblah on this post, just raw venting it's been 8 months since she left me for a friend of ours, she was my 2nd love, after my wife and I divorced. We had been together for roughly 5 years. Since the BU, I've met someone new, and we've been going well for 4 months now. To all rational accounts, it's a much less dysfunctional relationship than the one I had with both my ex-wife and ex-gf. But still, I miss the type of connection I had with my ex-gf (which I never had with my wife, and probably will not have with my current gf). I still can't believe she could just walk away like that. From something I'm still convinced was rather unique. Dammit, my head says I'm much better off now with #3, and so say my family and friends, and quite often that is the way it feels, but sometimes my heart says I'm settling because nothing will ever compare. Link to post Share on other sites
lilacwine Posted March 6, 2013 Share Posted March 6, 2013 no attempts at eloquent blahblah on this post, just raw venting it's been 8 months since she left me for a friend of ours, she was my 2nd love, after my wife and I divorced. We had been together for roughly 5 years. Since the BU, I've met someone new, and we've been going well for 4 months now. To all rational accounts, it's a much less dysfunctional relationship than the one I had with both my ex-wife and ex-gf. But still, I miss the type of connection I had with my ex-gf (which I never had with my wife, and probably will not have with my current gf). I still can't believe she could just walk away like that. From something I'm still convinced was rather unique. Dammit, my head says I'm much better off now with #3, and so say my family and friends, and quite often that is the way it feels, but sometimes my heart says I'm settling because nothing will ever compare. God, for me it's been 7 months since the BU. And it's this deadly feeling of "no one compares to him" that keeps me from dating anyone else. I'm sort of stuck with his memories. I keep wondering if I will ever get out of this mindset and move on or I will be alone forever as I'd rather be alone than settle now that I know i only want him or someone exactly like him which I unlikely will be able to find again. Link to post Share on other sites
alxnrwd Posted March 6, 2013 Share Posted March 6, 2013 God, for me it's been 7 months since the BU. And it's this deadly feeling of "no one compares to him" that keeps me from dating anyone else. I'm sort of stuck with his memories. I keep wondering if I will ever get out of this mindset and move on or I will be alone forever as I'd rather be alone than settle now that I know i only want him or someone exactly like him which I unlikely will be able to find again. Ugh I know exactly what you mean. But we have to try to open our hearts to new love! Link to post Share on other sites
Coping Vortex Posted March 6, 2013 Share Posted March 6, 2013 God, for me it's been 7 months since the BU. And it's this deadly feeling of "no one compares to him" that keeps me from dating anyone else. I'm sort of stuck with his memories. I keep wondering if I will ever get out of this mindset and move on or I will be alone forever as I'd rather be alone than settle now that I know i only want him or someone exactly like him which I unlikely will be able to find again. I hear you. I miss her so much. 3 1/2 months and it feels like years. To know she is loving someone new is just such another level of pain. We were so great together. What did I do in life to deserve the level of pain? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
cdt76 Posted March 6, 2013 Share Posted March 6, 2013 The comparing is what is killing me. She was beautiful, she was a 10. She was my sexual other half. Moving on from those images and memories is the hardest thing I've ever done. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Coping Vortex Posted March 6, 2013 Share Posted March 6, 2013 The comparing is what is killing me. She was beautiful, she was a 10. She was my sexual other half. Moving on from those images and memories is the hardest thing I've ever done. My ex was adorable and she was the best in bed ever. I will miss the excitement. I will never find another like her. I have been around,and I never clicked with some one as physically as I did with this girl. I will miss her so very much. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted March 6, 2013 Share Posted March 6, 2013 Get a grip guys. Lol 3 Link to post Share on other sites
lilacwine Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 My ex was adorable and she was the best in bed ever. I will miss the excitement. I will never find another like her. I have been around,and I never clicked with some one as physically as I did with this girl. I will miss her so very much. I feel the exact same way about my ex. He's like my sexual other half. We were so perfect together. I still can't understand how he can walk away from all we had. I just don't get it.. (( I've been with others in the past and no one can compare to him. I'm sure no one will in the future so I don't want to think of trying to meet new people. It'll only further disappoint me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
na49 Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 I don't think it's fair to date when we aren't over our ex. I used to think it was bullsh*t because well we forget about them when we meet someone new. Well you all want your new partner to be your ex. I'm guilty of this too. When I ask myself who/what I want my next girlfriend to be like. I want my ex. That's not fair to them. They can't be your ex because no one can be besides them. So unless you want to take them for what they are, you shouldn't be with them. You should be working on getting over your ex and getting rid of this idea that they were "the one". In my opinion at least. We are all going at this BU/getting over them crap differently. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
jumbojet123 Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 In past relationships I would rebound to ease the pain of being alone. I won't let myself now. I will just suffer through being alone. I miss him too much and I am still in love with him even though it is over and gone and I was hurt. It will just have to fade away in time I hope. I can't trust anyone for a long long time after him anyway. I am too young for this garbage. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
breakmyfall Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 It's good to know I'm not alone. It's this idea that he was the guy for me that keeps me from moving on. I know there isnt just one person for us out there but that level of emotional and physical connection is sooo rare and hard to find. I have had other boyfriends before but after every break up, even though I was hurting and missing them, deep down I knew they werent for me, that it wouldnt have worked out in the long run. Not with this one though. We were great together and every bone in my body believes that we're better together than apart. it sucks 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lilacwine Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 (edited) It's good to know I'm not alone. It's this idea that he was the guy for me that keeps me from moving on. I know there isnt just one person for us out there but that level of emotional and physical connection is sooo rare and hard to find. I have had other boyfriends before but after every break up, even though I was hurting and missing them, deep down I knew they werent for me, that it wouldnt have worked out in the long run. Not with this one though. We were great together and every bone in my body believes that we're better together than apart. it sucks God, it's like you're speaking out my mind, it's scary.... It's true I don't think I can ever find "that level of emotional and physical connection" again. I'm stuck, stuck, stuck with memories of him. The pain is more intensified with each passing day, it seems though it's been nearly 8 months since the BU. Edited March 7, 2013 by lilacwine Link to post Share on other sites
lilacwine Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 In past relationships I would rebound to ease the pain of being alone. I won't let myself now. I will just suffer through being alone. I miss him too much and I am still in love with him even though it is over and gone and I was hurt. It will just have to fade away in time I hope. I can't trust anyone for a long long time after him anyway. I am too young for this garbage. I'm going through the exact same thing now. I've been through other breakups in the past but nothing is as painful as this last one. I guess it's because it's the first time I truly love someone. I'm trying to cope each day with my loneliness. The idea of being with another man scares me though i miss the physical and emotional intimacy more than anything. But if it's not with him, I'd rather be alone. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Blastoplast Posted March 8, 2013 Share Posted March 8, 2013 no attempts at eloquent blahblah on this post, just raw venting it's been 8 months since she left me for a friend of ours, she was my 2nd love, after my wife and I divorced. We had been together for roughly 5 years. Since the BU, I've met someone new, and we've been going well for 4 months now. To all rational accounts, it's a much less dysfunctional relationship than the one I had with both my ex-wife and ex-gf. But still, I miss the type of connection I had with my ex-gf (which I never had with my wife, and probably will not have with my current gf). I still can't believe she could just walk away like that. From something I'm still convinced was rather unique. Dammit, my head says I'm much better off now with #3, and so say my family and friends, and quite often that is the way it feels, but sometimes my heart says I'm settling because nothing will ever compare. I feel ya brother. My ex and I were together 7 years and it still really hurts nearly a year later. I've had one girlfriend since we broke up, and we were rebounds for each other -- she was cool and we had A LOT in common, but there just wasn't that connection. I hear from my GF's friends all the time how great of a guy I am, how much my EX misses me and how I deserve better, so it takes a little of the sting away Link to post Share on other sites
lemonlegs Posted March 8, 2013 Share Posted March 8, 2013 I don't think it's fair to date when we aren't over our ex. I used to think it was bullsh*t because well we forget about them when we meet someone new. Well you all want your new partner to be your ex. I'm guilty of this too. When I ask myself who/what I want my next girlfriend to be like. I want my ex. That's not fair to them. They can't be your ex because no one can be besides them. So unless you want to take them for what they are, you shouldn't be with them. You should be working on getting over your ex and getting rid of this idea that they were "the one". In my opinion at least. We are all going at this BU/getting over them crap differently. My god, no kidding. I hope you, (Mint), break up with your girlfriend. How do you think she'd feel if she knew you were still secretly wanting to be with your ex, assuming she likes you? Probably not very good. As for the rest of you, please for the love of God, do NOT date anybody for a while. Link to post Share on other sites
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