An ironic thing I've noticed on LS

[JuneJulySeptember]

Just an observation.

 

Both men and women here complain about how the opposite sex is shallow and only cares about looks.

 

But the male posters here who complain about it are those who are unsuccessful and faced a lot of rejection in their life.

 

The female posters who complain about it have many male admirers and have described themselves as 'hot' and 'attractive' and in some cases have quite high physical standards themselves.

 

Interesting, huh?

[rocketman122]

its not clear cut at all like you say. men are unsuccessful and women are these gorgeous goddesses who have non stop offers. no no. I read the forums.

 

women have a hard time as well. and women are as shallow as well. it seems like its more guys than girls because you read the non stop pussie whining bitch posts by the guys.

[Anela]

Just an observation.

 

Both men and women here complain about how the opposite sex is shallow and only cares about looks.

 

But the male posters here who complain about it are those who are unsuccessful and faced a lot of rejection in their life.

 

The female posters who complain about it have many male admirers and have described themselves as 'hot' and 'attractive' and in some cases have quite high physical standards themselves.

 

Interesting, huh?

 

Many admirers? Where?

[Lonely Ronin]

The female posters who complain about it have many male admirers and have described themselves as 'hot' and 'attractive' and in some cases have quite high physical standards themselves.

 

two points you seem to not grasp:

 

1. options you don't want are not options, they are a problem/issue that need to be handled. Thus more work and stress they didn't want.

2. A crap ton of guys that want to date her, just because she is pretty, and that's all they care about is not very attractive to most women.

 

My LS observation:

A lot of guys who struggle with women seem to have one of the following issues.

 

1. forget that women have free will

2. think sex/having an attractive partner is the most important thing

3. don't know how to talk to women

[PJKino]

Admtited average looking women on here have admitted to dating everyone from average guys to as they put it "adonises" your average men dont have that same experience with women

[Fallen Petals]

Where is my group of admirers??? I feel like I'm missing out on something huge. I try to focus on the positives of my physical attributes because the insecurities don't need any more attention - but again, I ask, where are my tons of admirers?? And are they attractive?????

[aed]

I think it is just like in real live

 

when a girl struggles with dating: "Poor girl, I feel sorry for you, you are beautifull, men dont get it, its not you it is that jurk"

 

when a guy struggles its: "To high standards, dont understand women, etc...."

 

Women are harder on men imo then men are to women when it comes to advise.

[SJC2008]

The thing that frustrates me is that a lot of the posters think the struggling guys are holding out for Kate Beckinsale or something when it couldn't be further from the truth, for me anyway. I've used posters here with picutes before as examples to prove my point. Kimberlydoll had a thread about men settling and mentioned that she dates average looking men. Well when she put pics up I was very surprised in that how could an average man settle for her in the looks department when she's an attractive woman. I'm curious to see what her idea of average really is. I don't even aim for women on her level and would be plenty happy to date a woman like her looks wise.

 

I don't think it's too much to want to date someone I'm attracted to and that they're not bigger than me proportionately. I have no problem with thicker/chunky girls and was just hurt by a woman who was actually a tad bigger than me proportionately but I was ATTRACTED to her. The problem is though that when I see these girls I'd date in a New York minute they are with skinny guys and it pisses me off.

[SJC2008]

two points you seem to not grasp:

 

1. options you don't want are not options, they are a problem/issue that need to be handled. Thus more work and stress they didn't want.

2. A crap ton of guys that want to date her, just because she is pretty, and that's all they care about is not very attractive to most women.

 

#1) While I see what you're getting at you're wrong. Sure there are going to be plenty of men these women won't like but more options leads to a higher CHANCE at success. Le's say I can only get 5 dates a year and I only like one well that's a 20% success rate. Now I'm sure an cute girl or better can get three times the dates in a year so out of 15, given a 20% chance success reate there would be 3 men to choose from. See what I'm getting at?

 

#2) So the guys just want to date her becuase of her looks? What about the guy that SHE wants to date? He wants to date her because of?? Initial attraction is what causes interest by BOTH parties and you know that.

[Toddbt12y1]

Many admirers? Where?

 

Well, you do make a cute bunny! Whistles* fine lil ears you got there...

 

I've complimented poster-females as beautiful, without them having a pic up or knowing. I actually just go by their attitide/type. A nice mind is a beautiful thing.

[Green Light]

#1) While I see what you're getting at you're wrong. Sure there are going to be plenty of men these women won't like but more options leads to a higher CHANCE at success. Le's say I can only get 5 dates a year and I only like one well that's a 20% success rate. Now I'm sure an cute girl or better can get three times the dates in a year so out of 15, given a 20% chance success reate there would be 3 men to choose from. See what I'm getting at?

 

 

You make a very good point. A person who buys 20 lottery tickets has more of a chance of winning than the person who only buys 1. And of course the person with no lottery ticket has zero chance of winning.

This is also how the rich get richer, BTW...

[sweetkiwi]

I've got creepy stalkers...does that count??

 

I mat ruffle some feathers but women have the luxury of being picky. Though my girlfriends who *only* date super hotties are insecure themselves.

 

This body is just a shell. I am much more interested in what lies beneath.

[ltjg45]

My LS observation:

A lot of guys who struggle with women seem to have one of the following issues.

 

1. forget that women have free will

2. think sex/having an attractive partner is the most important thing

3. don't know how to talk to women

 

1. I'm aware that women has free will, just like I do.

2. At this point of my life, the last thing I want to approach a female for is sex. It's nice to have but it is not the reason why I'm willing to approach a female. If I want that, I have better (and quicker) success paying for a prostitute.

3. My issue is that I can't give off the vibe that I'm physically interested in her. I can only do it in a way that friends can do it.

 

Also, women doesn't let their guard down while I can if I'm interested in them. However, I tend to keep my guard up when it comes to everyone else.

[SJC2008]

You make a very good point. A person who buys 20 lottery tickets has more of a chance of winning than the person who only buys 1. And of course the person with no lottery ticket has zero chance of winning.

This is also how the rich get richer, BTW...

 

Thanks and to take my example antother step further: The one that I like has to like me back too and if she doesn't I'm SOL. The woman in my example has 3 men that she likes and so if one doesn't like her back she has 2 other chances. I think my numbers are realsitic; I don't see how a cute woman or better can't get just over a date a month to come out to 15 dates a year.

[Kamille]

Thanks and to take my example antother step further: The one that I like has to like me back too and if she doesn't I'm SOL. The woman in my example has 3 men that she likes and so if one doesn't like her back she has 2 other chances. I think my numbers are realsitic; I don't see how a cute woman or better can't get just over a date a month to come out to 15 dates a year.

 

Sadly, tales of a perfect match between the men I like also liking me back have been greatly exaggerated.

 

What I do notice, however, is that when a date and I don't feel compatibility, he'll still want to see me, on the off-chance I might agree to have sex with him anyway. Two of the guys I dated this year so much as flat out admitted to doing this.

[Green Light]

 

I mat ruffle some feathers but women have the luxury of being picky.

 

You are exactly right and it's time that we realize that we are dealing with two very different sets of realities here. Instead of saying that men and woman have the same problems.

It's a buyer's market and women are the "buyers" and men must "sell" themselves. This isn't really anything new but now it's in hyper-speed because technology has given woman SO many options. And I'm not just talking about OLD as there are many women getting approached on Facebook.

So now you have a swath of men who are getting tired and don't feel like putting the energy into the "chase" as much as before.

[Lonely Ronin]

#1) While I see what you're getting at you're wrong. Sure there are going to be plenty of men these women won't like but more options leads to a higher CHANCE at success. Le's say I can only get 5 dates a year and I only like one well that's a 20% success rate. Now I'm sure an cute girl or better can get three times the dates in a year so out of 15, given a 20% chance success reate there would be 3 men to choose from. See what I'm getting at?

 

Yes I see your point, but you are missing some significant things as well. Of the 80%, you are going to have some that won't take no for an answer, and push and make her uncomfortable, and worse yet are the ones that are hostile towards her. I think very few guys on LS understand the later. Even if he just says something mean to her, he is most likely bigger and much stronger than her and could feel physically threatened. I mean honestly have you ever meet a woman that you thought could physically over power you?

 

 

#2) So the guys just want to date her becuase of her looks? What about the guy that SHE wants to date? He wants to date her because of?? Initial attraction is what causes interest by BOTH parties and you know that.

No you missed the point, I think most women know you physically attracted to them if your hitting on them, and are most likely ok with it. I can give you two examples that i have seen so far this year of what they don't like.

 

1. I was at a bar in Jan, A woman walks in with her friend and sits at the bar. withing about 5 minutes a guy walks up and starts talking to her, she is open two it. Not 20 minutes later, he starts talking to her about her chest. She was instantly turned off and her and her friend left as soon as they found a way escape.

 

2. last week I heard a guy hitting on a girl while I was playing pool. He must have talked to her for an hour. However, he was so preoccupied with her looks he asked her nothing of substance. She showed signs of slowly but surely getting turned off. She got out of it by asking a simple question, "whats my name?". Dude didn't know.

[Lonely Ronin]

3. My issue is that I can't give off the vibe that I'm physically interested in her. I can only do it in a way that friends can do it.

 

This is your only real problem, and is something that can be worked on.

[Lonely Ronin]

So now you have a swath of men who are getting tired and don't feel like putting the energy into the "chase" as much as before.

 

some relevant quotes:

 

"before you can win you first have to show up."

 

"to win you have to be better than your opponents."

 

"naturally ability will only take you so far"

[ltjg45]

So now you have a swath of men who are getting tired and don't feel like putting the energy into the "chase" as much as before.

 

This is the biggest part right there.

 

I was just thinking about that while in Wal-Mart today after looking at a popular magazine concerning a male attractive virgin bachelor having to choose between 2 attractive females, which bugs me in a way since I don't have the looks like he does, even if I do fix myself up to actually look better.

 

To him, being a virgin makes him even more attractive along with his looks. To me, being a virgin is another strike against me and will keep me single throughout the rest of my days since the average/attractive females want average/attractive males with sexual experience, regardless of their background.

 

It feels like I already lost the war before I even stepped on the battlefield.

[sillyanswer]

Both men and women here complain about how the opposite sex is shallow and only cares about looks.

 

But the male posters here who complain about it are those who are unsuccessful and faced a lot of rejection in their life.

 

I was already thinking that about the male posters when I was reading the first paragraph. So, yes, good observation.

[Untouchable_Fire]

two points you seem to not grasp:

1. options you don't want are not options, they are a problem/issue that need to be handled. Thus more work and stress they didn't want.

2. A crap ton of guys that want to date her, just because she is pretty, and that's all they care about is not very attractive to most women.

My LS observation:

A lot of guys who struggle with women seem to have one of the following issues.

1. forget that women have free will

2. think sex/having an attractive partner is the most important thing

3. don't know how to talk to women

 

This is very wrong.

 

1. Options you don't want are still options. The feeling of having tons of mediocre options is completely different from having no options. Like the difference between living in a boring town and being in prison.

2. How does she know what each individual guy wants. Attention is attention to a certain degree. It all helps build confidence and make you feel better about yourself.

 

LS guys who struggle with women struggle because they lack confidence. Confident men who are extremely misogynistic and shallow often times do very well with women.

 

I do agree that many don't know how to talk to women... but this comes mainly from a lack of confidence... which comes from a lack of options and/or interest.

 

Essentially you've mixed up cause and effect.

[xxoo]

LS guys who struggle with women struggle because they lack confidence. Confident men who are extremely misogynistic and shallow often times do very well with women.

 

I do agree that many don't know how to talk to women... but this comes mainly from a lack of confidence... which comes from a lack of options and/or interest.

 

Essentially you've mixed up cause and effect.

 

But is any of that caused by women being too shallow? I don't think so--esp because another guy exactly as physically attractive, or materially successful, could have better luck simply because he is naturally social.

[SJC2008]

Yes I see your point, but you are missing some significant things as well. Of the 80%, you are going to have some that won't take no for an answer, and push and make her uncomfortable, and worse yet are the ones that are hostile towards her. I think very few guys on LS understand the later. Even if he just says something mean to her, he is most likely bigger and much stronger than her and could feel physically threatened. I mean honestly have you ever meet a woman that you thought could physically over power you?

 

 

 

No you missed the point, I think most women know you physically attracted to them if your hitting on them, and are most likely ok with it. I can give you two examples that i have seen so far this year of what they don't like.

 

1. I was at a bar in Jan, A woman walks in with her friend and sits at the bar. withing about 5 minutes a guy walks up and starts talking to her, she is open two it. Not 20 minutes later, he starts talking to her about her chest. She was instantly turned off and her and her friend left as soon as they found a way escape.

 

2. last week I heard a guy hitting on a girl while I was playing pool. He must have talked to her for an hour. However, he was so preoccupied with her looks he asked her nothing of substance. She showed signs of slowly but surely getting turned off. She got out of it by asking a simple question, "whats my name?". Dude didn't know.

 

We're getting into an apples and oranges debate here so we'll just agree to disagree. I see what you're saying about the negtive aspect of having options. A woman with options has to sort through men only wanting sex etc (but don't most women have this problem?) and a man WITHOUT options has to face tons of rejection before meeting someone. So while there are "negative" aspects to both, it's an apple and oranges debate. I'd certainly rather put up with having to sort through a buch of women and weeding out stage 5 clingers and crazy bitches to find a good one. INSTEAD of having to settle for a stage 5 clinger or bitch on wheels becuase no other woman will like me. Like I said, the more options the more of a chance of success.

[Lonely Ronin]

2. How does she know what each individual guy wants. Attention is attention to a certain degree. It all helps build confidence and make you feel better about yourself.

See my later points about having to deal with the unwanted attention.

 

 

but this comes mainly from a lack of confidence... which comes from a lack of options and/or interest.

 

At some point, you have to say F it, "I'm going to make something happen."

 

Men, are expected to "chase", and thus it's our job to do what it takes(within reason, red no lying or manipulating) to succeed. Honestly, I think if half the guys on LS stopped focusing on life not being fare, and focused on obtaining what they want, they wouldn't be on LS in the first place.