A fresh start debs Message in a bottle from oz to brazil

[todreaminblue]

The true object of all human life is play. Earth is a task garden; heaven is a playground.

Gilbert K. Chesterton

Read more at Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes - BrainyQuote

 

 

 

 

 

this song sailing is a song i listen to all the time when i feel stressed, that and ninas here comes the sun.........hugs.....deb

[unknow]

omg deb im so ****ed today...well im in my bedroom since that day...i was feeling a bit better yesterday and the day before...but today...remember when i was mad? im like 99999x more mad...angry...im like 30 hours without sleeping and i dont feel like sleeping now even that i am already lay down on my bed..i have no idea what to do...im feeling so angry that i feel like im evil im feeling like i would explode or something ...i did not take tranquilizers for about 3 or 4 days...and i dont feel like im secure to take it now..my body is tired..my brain too..sedate it doenst seen like a good idea after 30hours awake .... Im lost

[todreaminblue]

omg deb im so ****ed today...well im in my bedroom since that day...i was feeling a bit better yesterday and the day before...but today...remember when i was mad? im like 99999x more mad...angry...im like 30 hours without sleeping and i dont feel like sleeping now even that i am already lay down on my bed..i have no idea what to do...im feeling so angry that i feel like im evil im feeling like i would explode or something ...i did not take tranquilizers for about 3 or 4 days...and i dont feel like im secure to take it now..my body is tired..my brain too..sedate it doenst seen like a good idea after 30hours awake .... Im lost

 

 

 

have you eaten and what was the last thing you ate? cut back on the cola........caffeine is not going to help or drink decaffeinated...caffeine overload can make you jittery and tense....

 

 

sleep deprivation is a process used in war to break down soldiers for a reason...lack of sleep is a form of torture that turns your world upside down till you dont know what is real and what isnt....your mental capacity is diminished and left to just process and feel raw emotion....soldiers will just do and say about anything to just go to sleep.......your physical body requires at least a minimum of six hours of sleep a night to regenerate..if your mind keeps ticking.....than let it but lie down........absence fo light is another no no......maybe for you so .....have a soft light on not a bright over light but a soft one or a night light, you are probably suffering withdrawals from the tranquilizers ...so dont feed the withdrawal let it starve...and it will die....feed your body...what have you eaten?..break it down for me in a two day period......give me the last two days of food you have consumed.....and give me the day you last slept and how you slept...........hugs....deb

[todreaminblue]

I loved myself in the start of this relationship with the Brasilian vet woman. After two years of her emasculating me in everyway possible I started realising I was losing myself. Thats why I left her. I turned my back on something otherwise I had loved more than anyone in my life, someone otherwise I imagined I could live with and never get tired of. I could even put up with her emasculating comments but the ACTIONS were too much - Cheating on your man is the be all and end all when it comes to emasculation and I think Brasilian women do it often.

 

Anyway, I will finish my project here in Brasil, work on that and my health and I think I will wait till I get back to Australia to bother looking for another woman.

 

 

i dont think cheating has a distinction with race.........cheats and faithful people in all races equally....dont think it can be measured.......seeing as cheats lie how can you measure deceitful intentions and define a race of women or men for it.....when they dont tell the truth in the first place..............i am an aussie woman....ex hooker....by definition was an ultimate player......nto to be trusted....teh truth i s...i am trustworthy and what i have done in my past does not give definition to my future......its not because i am an aussie woman or not because i am not a brazillian woman..that guys would deem me untrustworthy...but from actions of a past due to circumstances i cannot change so....

 

 

 

to tar and feather a race of women or for that matter women who have pasts...isnt advisable.....you never know truly who anyone is.......there's always a risk.....and i truly believe that most people on this planet want to do the right thing they just dont know it yet.....come back to australia soon....the vegemite rocks...smilin.......

 

 

 

quote

 

“Through all this ordeal his root horror had been isolation, and there are no words to express the abyss between isolation and having one ally. It may be conceded to the mathematicians that four is twice two. But two is not twice one; two is two thousand times one. That is why, in spite of a hundred disadvantages, the world will always return to monogamy.” endquote

 

 

― G.K. Chesterton, The Man Who Was Thursday........deb

[unknow]

I loved myself in the start of this relationship with the Brasilian vet woman. After two years of her emasculating me in everyway possible I started realising I was losing myself. Thats why I left her. I turned my back on something otherwise I had loved more than anyone in my life, someone otherwise I imagined I could live with and never get tired of. I could even put up with her emasculating comments but the ACTIONS were too much - Cheating on your man is the be all and end all when it comes to emasculation and I think Brasilian women do it often.

 

Anyway, I will finish my project here in Brasil, work on that and my health and I think I will wait till I get back to Australia to bother looking for another woman.

dude...i mean...hey mate...whats your problem?

You really think that all brazilian woman are like this?....i think you looked in the wrong direction...thats kinda racist to judge all the woman in brazil....but...anyway..think whatever you want to think...thinking like this just limit the possibilities...i think ur wrong

[unknow]

have you eaten and what was the last thing you ate? cut back on the cola........caffeine is not going to help or drink decaffeinated...caffeine overload can make you jittery and tense....

 

 

sleep deprivation is a process used in war to break down soldiers for a reason...lack of sleep is a form of torture that turns your world upside down till you dont know what is real and what isnt....your mental capacity is diminished and left to just process and feel raw emotion....soldiers will just do and say about anything to just go to sleep.......your physical body requires at least a minimum of six hours of sleep a night to regenerate..if your mind keeps ticking.....than let it but lie down........absence fo light is another no no......maybe for you so .....have a soft light on not a bright over light but a soft one or a night light, you are probably suffering withdrawals from the tranquilizers ...so dont feed the withdrawal let it starve...and it will die....feed your body...what have you eaten?..break it down for me in a two day period......give me the last two days of food you have consumed.....and give me the day you last slept and how you slept...........hugs....deb

deb im nott addicted to tranquilizers...i had eat only a pizza during the mid night....cola doesnt have any effects on me..ive being taking it since i remember livin

i dont mind light anymore..day or night...im on my room

[unknow]

today i woke up very early ...did nothing until now (aprox. 20:00pm now) i barely get out of my bed...im tired of this im tired of everything ...tired of pain everyday...its going beyond my capacity...i dont think i gonna make...or if i wanna make it anymore....im cosidering suicide again...im sick of feeling sick....im sick of everything

[todreaminblue]

today i woke up very early ...did nothing until now (aprox. 20:00pm now) i barely get out of my bed...im tired of this im tired of everything ...tired of pain everyday...its going beyond my capacity...i dont think i gonna make...or if i wanna make it anymore....im cosidering suicide again...im sick of feeling sick....im sick of everything

 

 

 

you will make it victor,i am praying for you every night i say ,,,,can you look after victor he needs a little help......i am thinking about you so keep that thought in mind.....sending huge hugs your way....http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oma9nsPimqI&feature=endscreen&NR=1...deb

 

 

 

The most important things at the last are always said by signs. If men do not understand signs, they will never understand words.

All Things Considered. p.57. [edited]

....gk chesterton Edited March 12, 2013 by todreaminblue

[unknow]

you will make it victor,i am praying for you every night i say ,,,,can you look after victor he needs a little help......i am thinking about you so keep that thought in mind.....sending huge hugs your way....Etta James - Oh Happy Day - YouTube

 

 

 

....gk chesterton

are you hurry?

[todreaminblue]

are you hurry?

 

 

 

no i am here victor...righte here...;0)...listening to etta james...... on youtube...whatcha up to....deb

[unknow]

no i am here victor...righte here...;0)...listening to etta james...... on youtube...whatcha up to....deb

 

you seems kinda strange with me ...i cant stand hearing that because its the total oposit of my mood or my life right now sorry

[todreaminblue]

you seems kinda strange with me ...i cant stand hearing that because its the total oposit of my mood or my life right now sorry

 

 

sorry i seem strange with you, I am a little down today so i am a little off,in general but not with you...so what are you feeling victor and what are you thinking.....hugs...deb

[todreaminblue]

victor where are you ......you still here.....

 

 

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=9azc2Hdst98&feature=endscreen

 

 

im on to buble now on youtube....are you youtubin

 

 

 

 

 

looked up how to be a volunteer in africa.......through unicef....and world vision....what did you have for dinner last night?

Edited March 12, 2013 by todreaminblue

[todreaminblue]

 

 

heres one song i really like you arent answering so i hope you are having sweet dreams or smiles with what you are doing...hugs...im off the net soon need to take a break ......so keep smilin victor.......................deb

[todreaminblue]

We have come to the wrong star ... That is what makes life at once so splendid and so strange. The true happiness is that we don't fit. We come from somewhere else. We have lost our way.

 

G. K. CHESTERTON, Orthodoxy

 

 

night victor went for a long walk......went to my pier and watched some ripples turn into waves........feel better now but tired...hope you are feeling better.....hugs...deb

[unknow]

We have come to the wrong star ... That is what makes life at once so splendid and so strange. The true happiness is that we don't fit. We come from somewhere else. We have lost our way.

 

G. K. CHESTERTON, Orthodoxy

 

 

night victor went for a long walk......went to my pier and watched some ripples turn into waves........feel better now but tired...hope you are feeling better.....hugs...deb

 

hey de i feel happy for you get better..at least you got a beautiful place to go when you need it ...today here nothing new..im on my bed...did nothing again...depressive and tired i have not talked with no one for...almost a month...except my mon but...anywway...my life sux and it become standard ...i hope you have a wonderful day

[todreaminblue]

hey de i feel happy for you get better..at least you got a beautiful place to go when you need it ...today here nothing new..im on my bed...did nothing again...depressive and tired i have not talked with no one for...almost a month...except my mon but...anywway...my life sux and it become standard ...i hope you have a wonderful day

 

 

 

you are actually having a conversation with me victor, everyday nearly.......you might not hear my voice but what i write , the words i post to you are my voice....so yes we are talking........because everything i write i would say to you in person, everything i have shared with you is what my family and friends know and seem to love about me, is the way i am on here, soppy, goofy, sad happy sometimes but honest enough for people to get me if i want them too, i even have the right words to make people smile sometimes, those are good days....

 

 

 

and i do want you to get me victor, i hope that you do, i struggle too, but then, i always have hope, so, sharing it with you........i know you feel pretty isolated at the moment, but you are not alone.......lonely maybe, alone no, god is with you everywhere you go , rooting for you to make it, so am i , so is your mum i hope that you will actually really talk to her soon, tell her exactly how you feel instead of hiding it, until then , ill be here fro you to say how you feel, you dont have to sugar coat it......just be you.....hugs......deb

[todreaminblue]

you are more than half way there victor.......52 posts....hugs............ deb

[todreaminblue]

hey victor ........;0)

this is from me to you

 

 

 

 

 

 

:bunny::bunny:.....deb

[todreaminblue]

hey victor, dont know if you are reading still,hope you are i will keep posting either way....

 

 

heres a song for you one of my all time favorites of which i have like ten thousand all time favorites...its a bit country i think its the clicking in it..appeals to my psyche..i like to click to this song.....its catchy it is by eddie :bunny::bunny:

 

 

 

 

thinking about you....hugs..from deb

[todreaminblue]

hey victor, i look everyday to see fi you have posted anything and then i insert a sad face right here like this....:0(...nothing from victor....hope you are still reading or i feel a lil bit stoopid......i am used to talking to myself so its nothing new used to feeling a lil bit goofy so....i wont change anything ....its some of the things i do really well........i also sing when no one can hear, so i thought i might some of the things i do that i like and soem of the things that i do well and ill hope that you might write soem things in a post here to let em see you a little bit...ok here goes......

 

 

i have fingernails that grow in a perfect arch, even if i bite them off, rip them off or cut them straight across they naturally grow back in a perfect curve.....and they grow super fast........

 

 

i have eyes that change color, my own personal mood ring with out having to wear a mood ring,,,,they go green when i cry or peel onions, grey when i am introspective and really blue when i happy or excited, and sometimes they mess up and are a mix of colors........

 

 

i have a supportive family and friends who get me......even when i dont get myself......

 

i love that i found the faith i beleive in adn i rely on that a lot.....

 

i love the fact i can get over things, because no matter how bad it gets for me, my heart never changes,,,,,,it is constantly reminding me of how i should be.......

 

 

i love it that people see in me what i dont see in myself,and somehow god lets them know exactly what to say to me to make me feel better, i love the fact i am always able to smile for someone else even though i might feel like crap

 

i hope victor you might be able to think of something, even if you dont post it here, you might be able to think of something that you love about you......hope you are ok.....stay safe....huge hugs....deb

[todreaminblue]

hey victor, miss you with your upside down smile, i hope you are ok......

 

 

 

 

 

 

.........................deb

[unknow]

hey deb..im sorrry..im not okay...i sended everyone to hell today...im mad with everybody..except with you ofcourse....i cant take this anymore...i think im done...i dont cry i dont care i dont talk i dont see anyone anymore....i learned that life sux alot...im done...i shall finish this so i can get a little peace...im tired of living miserably...i shall unplug myself from this world...i really do apreciate alot everything you had done..it was the only good thing in my life since a good time ago...but i have no faith in life anymore.. Understand that you really helped but i was already dead...i shall be greatful to you forever ...really...i will miss you deb even that i dont even know you im doing me a favor now understand thqt i cant take it anymore life already gone far from cruel to me...goodbye deborah please dont be sad or disapointed with me :'(

 

remember me

i will remember you

 

this is the last song ive heard

Edited March 16, 2013 by unknow

[todreaminblue]

hey deb..im sorrry..im not okay...i sended everyone to hell today...im mad with everybody..except with you ofcourse....i cant take this anymore...i think im done...i dont cry i dont care i dont talk i dont see anyone anymore....i learned that life sux alot...im done...i shall finish this so i can get a little peace...im tired of living miserably...i shall unplug myself from this world...i really do apreciate alot everything you had done..it was the only good thing in my life since a good time ago...but i have no faith in life anymore.. Understand that you really helped but i was already dead...i shall be greatful to you forever ...really...i will miss you deb even that i dont even know you im doing me a favor now understand thqt i cant take it anymore life already gone far from cruel to me...goodbye deborah please dont be sad or disapointed with me :'(

 

remember me

i will remember you

 

this is the last song ive heard

 

 

dont you do this, victor please, i am asking you not to do anything like you are thinking of doing......you are important victor whether you know it or not, accept it or not, i got the biggest smile on my face just from knowing you posted some thing to me,i felt happy that you had replied and that you were still alive and kicking,you made a difference to my day victor by just posting in here, I have been praying for you victor,asking god to keep you safe and find something for you to smile about......so you havent seen anyone talked to anyone but me for a while.....

 

 

 

i need you to know something if its the last thing you have posted here ill tell you....i love you victor as i would love any brother.....we are all sisters and brothers...different but the same...you have purpose and unique design to be on this earth and without you here there is one less smile that makes a difference.....that will be the absence of my smile when i think about you...so from this sister to you brother......i love you....so dotn go...i say it on behalf of your motherr....and i say it on behalf of the woman one day who will miss you in her life........and even the kids you have together...and their kids....then their kids...and it goes on and on and on.....dotn give up....lots of hugs.......deb

[todreaminblue]

hey victor hope you are ok.......sending big hugs your way....deb