cosmicpanda Posted March 6, 2013 Share Posted March 6, 2013 Do you think its cheating if you cuddled with another guy while in a relationship? There was nothing sexual about it, no wandering hands or anything. Im a really open person and i cuddle a lot of people if i fall asleep next to them as long as they good friends. Throughout my life all of my friends have been guys and most of them are like brothers to me. So in my mind this didnt really mean a lot to me, but it did to him and he told his friends and they think im quite the floozy now i guess. I just want your guy s's opinion on if i was wrong.. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 6, 2013 Share Posted March 6, 2013 If you wouldn't do it in front of your husband/boyfriend and/or if he would feel disrespected if you did, then it's worth examining as inappropriate. If you did it and kept that from H/BF, knowledgeable of his perspective/disagreement, then it's 'cheating'. Here's a typical MW line: 'Don't tell my husband'. OTOH, if the guy is an old friend whom your BF knows well and with whom you are openly affectionate, or a family member/blood relative and same, then a different perspective can apply. Gender-neutral opinion. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
TaserTag Posted March 6, 2013 Share Posted March 6, 2013 I think that every relationship has its own boundaries, but I wouldn't want a girl snuggling up to or falling asleep on my husband (I would find it disrespectful), and I know a lot of guys would find it sexual if a girl was trying to cuddle with them or was laying on them. If your friend was telling his friends and they found it unusual enough to talk about, then you must have crossed a line for him, at the least. Link to post Share on other sites
Toddbt12y1 Posted March 6, 2013 Share Posted March 6, 2013 Yes, yes it is cheating...cheating is more then sex/touching. You just.committed a great crime...if you did this... Link to post Share on other sites
Author cosmicpanda Posted March 6, 2013 Author Share Posted March 6, 2013 Yes, yes it is cheating...cheating is more then sex/touching. You just.committed a great crime...if you did this... im starting to think so too Link to post Share on other sites
TaserTag Posted March 6, 2013 Share Posted March 6, 2013 Looking at your other threads, you said you've been finding yourself wanting to cheat on your boyfriend, that you're bored, and that you've been wanting to break up with him. Just break up with him. He should know that you've been flirting with and wanting to be with other guys and that you're checking out of the relationship. You're feeling neglected by your boyfriend and cuddling with other guys, so I do think that's sexual more than just-friends... Link to post Share on other sites
Author cosmicpanda Posted March 6, 2013 Author Share Posted March 6, 2013 Looking at your other threads, you said you've been finding yourself wanting to cheat on your boyfriend, that you're bored, and that you've been wanting to break up with him. Just break up with him. He should know that you've been flirting with and wanting to be with other guys and that you're checking out of the relationship. You're feeling neglected by your boyfriend and cuddling with other guys, so I do think that's sexual more than just-friends... i never said i wanted to cheat on him, i said the thought came across my mind therefore something was obviously wrong, and ya any other way i would count this as cheating since yes i have been neglected but it was a good friend. idk i do thank you all for your replys tho, this has just been the most weird relationship ive been in and needed some other perspective upon it. Link to post Share on other sites
Toddbt12y1 Posted March 6, 2013 Share Posted March 6, 2013 I couldn't agree more. You just need to end it. You are not wanting to be tied down, and that is easy to see. Before you shatter your loyalties any further, and walk down that crooked path, break up with him. One day, hopefully, you will see the value in other aspects of a relationship: that simply transpire romance and sex. That go beyond fun, no doubt. Fun will end, and sex will not always be; romance dies. What a real relationship is, is strong enough to go without these, for any time length. True, they make-up the foundations of a relationship; but they die, and require re-work. Take for example me: Years ago, I wouldn't care what color a girl's eyes where. Her hair. How she sounded, and how she acted. Just her body. I was a dumb, cum-filled teen/young adult. I now realize, that these are not important. Just her attitude; that determines the future. Although, I have to admit, what I first notice about a woman, is her hair/eyes these days. I am telling you this, not to go off-topic, but to show you a change in time...You will get there, I hope. You are young; just break-up. Once you cross that dark-line, there is no coming back.. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Toddbt12y1 Posted March 6, 2013 Share Posted March 6, 2013 i never said i wanted to cheat on him, i said the thought came across my mind therefore something was obviously wrong, and ya any other way i would count this as cheating since yes i have been neglected but it was a good friend. idk i do thank you all for your replys tho, this has just been the most weird relationship ive been in and needed some other perspective upon it. You wouldn't mind him doing the same, to any girl, that is his friend, right? In theory, you shouldn't. I am sure... Link to post Share on other sites
Author cosmicpanda Posted March 6, 2013 Author Share Posted March 6, 2013 I couldn't agree more. You just need to end it. You are not wanting to be tied down, and that is easy to see. Before you shatter your loyalties any further, and walk down that crooked path, break up with him. One day, hopefully, you will see the value in other aspects of a relationship: that simply transpire romance and sex. That go beyond fun, no doubt. Fun will end, and sex will not always be; romance dies. What a real relationship is, is strong enough to go without these, for any time length. True, they make-up the foundations of a relationship; but they die, and require re-work. Take for example me: Years ago, I wouldn't care what color a girl's eyes where. Her hair. How she sounded, and how she acted. Just her body. I was a dumb, cum-filled teen/young adult. I now realize, that these are not important. Just her attitude; that determines the future. Although, I have to admit, what I first notice about a woman, is her hair/eyes these days. I am telling you this, not to go off-topic, but to show you a change in time...You will get there, I hope. You are young; just break-up. Once you cross that dark-line, there is no coming back.. do u have skype lol, im curious to hear why ur on this website Link to post Share on other sites
Toddbt12y1 Posted March 6, 2013 Share Posted March 6, 2013 do u have skype lol, im curious to hear why ur on this website One shouldn't try to mock. I already told my story, as to why. I do not see another need to type a million words. I am no boy. I am no loser(I work at a hospital, and I wonder what I do..hmm??) I own my own home; my own car. You want to know, though? It is because she cheated; not like you. Something worse, far more evil. She certainly didn't come to a forum, seeking help to stray away from that. She certainly didn't show no remorse. She, was happy to do her deed. But that is in the past. Why am I still on LS? To help people; doesn't always work; that is fine. I was helped, well, I was actually mostly well, before coming to LS, I just wanted to hear a strangers' opinion. I stayed to help, since I was helped. There is joy in helping others. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted March 6, 2013 Share Posted March 6, 2013 Uh. How do you find yourself just "falling asleep" with so many other people? Link to post Share on other sites
Author cosmicpanda Posted March 6, 2013 Author Share Posted March 6, 2013 Uh. How do you find yourself just "falling asleep" with so many other people? lol, sounds bad, i didnt mean it like that. Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted March 6, 2013 Share Posted March 6, 2013 How would you feel if your boyfriend fell asleep cuddling with another girl? Link to post Share on other sites
TaserTag Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 i never said i wanted to cheat on him, i said the thought came across my mind therefore something was obviously wrong, and ya any other way i would count this as cheating since yes i have been neglected but it was a good friend. idk i do thank you all for your replys tho, this has just been the most weird relationship ive been in and needed some other perspective upon it. Sorry. I was looking at your other thread where you said, "lately this other guy has been flirting with me and id never cheat on my bf but it makes me realize that i want to." That's where I got the impression that you want to cheat on your boyfriend/have been thinking about doing so... I think you just need to talk to your boyfriend and ask him if he thinks it's okay for you to be cuddling with other guys... and talk about all of the other problems you're having in the relationship where he isn't as physical as you'd like. It really only matters if you & your boyfriend think this sort of thing is cheating. Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 If you wouldn't do it in front of your husband/boyfriend and/or if he would feel disrespected if you did, then it's worth examining as inappropriate. If you did it and kept that from H/BF, knowledgeable of his perspective/disagreement, then it's 'cheating'. Here's a typical MW line: 'Don't tell my husband'. OTOH, if the guy is an old friend whom your BF knows well and with whom you are openly affectionate, or a family member/blood relative and same, then a different perspective can apply. Gender-neutral opinion. That and how would you feel about BF getting a lap dance. Link to post Share on other sites
GSB81 Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 Shucks no! Manys a time I find myself falling asleep with female friends and we just cuddle and spoon the night away. And if I wake up with an erection pressed against her butt its fine, no big deal at all cause we are friends and that's what friends do. Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 Do you think its cheating if you cuddled with another guy while in a relationship? Unless the other guy was gay, the answer would be yes. So in my mind this didnt really mean a lot to me, but it did to him Of course it did, and he is justified in feeling that way. Link to post Share on other sites
MYCluciferase Posted March 11, 2013 Share Posted March 11, 2013 Strictly 'cheating' ? - my answer is 'no' but as you can also see from the other posters, many of us feel that depending on how this happened, the circumstances and how you told your BF about it, he may have some cause to be p***ed off at you. But hey, nothing you can't get over together, and a good way to find out how jealous he is. Link to post Share on other sites
nonameforme Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 Do you think its cheating if you cuddled with another guy while in a relationship? There was nothing sexual about it, no wandering hands or anything. Im a really open person and i cuddle a lot of people if i fall asleep next to them as long as they good friends. Throughout my life all of my friends have been guys and most of them are like brothers to me. So in my mind this didnt really mean a lot to me, but it did to him and he told his friends and they think im quite the floozy now i guess. I just want your guy s's opinion on if i was wrong.. Well. . . . I have recently learned (with help here at this forum), that it is VERY difficult to be "just friends" with the opposite sex. Not judging you at all, but even if you don't have anything more than pure thoughts of friendship for your friend, it doesn't mean that he also feels the same way. It's a sad lesson to learn (I have also always had guy friends), but sometimes you just have to have certain boundaries with platonic friends of the opposite sex, otherwise someone may get the wrong idea and it screws everything up. If it's any consolation, I don't think you're a floozy. Link to post Share on other sites
sayyes19 Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 Strictly 'cheating' ? - my answer is 'no' but as you can also see from the other posters, many of us feel that depending on how this happened, the circumstances and how you told your BF about it, he may have some cause to be p***ed off at you. But hey, nothing you can't get over together, and a good way to find out how jealous he is. I wouldn't qualify it as cheating, but it would need to stop if her bf has the same expectations that I would. Link to post Share on other sites
pbjbear Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 So enlighten me. Why is it cheating for a girl to cuddle with a guy but its not cheating for a guy to rub his face all over a stripper's boobs? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 Looks like another hit and run thread of "I don't want to hear it" Link to post Share on other sites
Dusk1983 Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 So enlighten me. Why is it cheating for a girl to cuddle with a guy but its not cheating for a guy to rub his face all over a stripper's boobs? Another thread derailed by our resident bitter misandrist. Sigh. Link to post Share on other sites
Neffer Posted March 14, 2013 Share Posted March 14, 2013 (edited) Cheating? No. Somewhat stupid and provocative? Yes. Stop cuddling people you aren't dating as its overly flirtatious in a deliberate way. You can be affectionate to people in a friendly way without going over the line. It just crosses over into being disrespectful of your SO's feelings. But no, it is not cheating. Edited March 14, 2013 by Neffer Link to post Share on other sites
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