WTF Hand Written Letter From The Ex!!

[NoLeafClover]

i did not sleep most of the night... i have not read the letter

 

i really loved this woman, but she just treated me like garbage & just binned me, when it suited her...

 

she is out & about meeting other men, maybe sleeping around. she even told me that is what she will be doing.

 

the only reason for me to read this letter is... if i wanto get back with her

 

 

i miss her.... my heart wants her back.... but my brain is telling me, your a complete fool

 

 

dont know what to do

 

Like you I too received a hand written "card" from my ex after a couple weeks NC with a box of some of my stuff and a DVD with songs - which I played in my Computer for a second to so what was in it. It automatically started to play a Chris Brown song - "don't you judge me" or Something like that and I removed the DVD and never played it again. I read the card and then had my friends read it and told me their opinion as I ripped the card in pieces right in front of them.

The CD is collecting dust but I am saving it so I can listen to it after Im fully moved on just for sh*ts and giggles.

 

To be honest with you I have a very strong feeling what that letter says.

It is going to say that she is sorry for how things ended, and did love you and all the good things OUT OF GUILT, but it will not say what you want to hear which is that of a reconciliation or to even talk again on working things out in the future.

 

If you think you will be fine knowing you never read it, then the strongest message to send her would be RETURNING that letter back UNOPENED.

 

Otherwise you can play the indifferent role.

 

I opened my letter because I was curious to know wtf was going in her mind. When I gave it to my friend to read it after (He also was going through a breakup) he told me that if it was his ex who dumped him, he would just rip the letter right there and then without even reading it.

I guess some people deal with some situations different than others.

 

This is all up to you but just remember one thing.

If you do not see yourself in the future with this person anymore (No matter what your heart says now), then there is no need to even open the letter as whatever she says, you are going to be hurt either way. This is truly the main reason why I am doing so good after 3+ months NC.

 

Either you'll get hurt because of the negative things said on there or get hurt because no matter how positive and nice she could be, you're still going to have to shut down your feelings and try to move on.

 

The best thing in this situation is to avoid opening any type of wounds and go back to a few bad days and so far you have been doing a very good job not allowing that to happen.

 

You have the option to send her a very strong message and truly flip the tables around if you send that letter back unopened. Perhaps you don't understand it now, but some of us here REALLY REALLLLLYYY wished we had a chance to throw something back at our ex's face. Sometimes keeping NC doesn't hit them as hard.

[kaitracid2010]

ouch! that sounds painful lol

 

here is the short of it.....

 

 

is this a woman worth fighting for?

 

 

she used to push me away, make no effort to make up after an argument.. it was always me, making the effort to make up with her...

 

if i did not make up with her, then i am certain she would just let the relationship go.

 

this made me very insecure, and made me believe she does not care if we stay together or not.

 

she would turn her back to me in bed & just go to sleep... god that was annoying...

 

she called me names... CRAP BOYFRIEND, SOFT BOY, FAIRY, NOB HEAD

 

on a few occasions i asked her... if i am such a crap boyfriend, then why are you with me??? her answer..... I REALLY DON'T KNOW!

 

but in the same breath, she talks about marriage, and wanting to live with me.

 

she was very dis respectful to me, till the very end...

 

 

The biggest mistake i made...... she had a small operation, told me she was not too well.... ignored me all that week, did not even get one text from her... even if i sent her a text, she would not reply back till 7-8 hours later...

 

and that reply was just a cold empty... YES I AM OK THANX

 

if i asked her, why it took so long for you to reply back... her answer I WAS SLEEPING, HAVE YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT... I DON'T NEED YOU QUESTIONING ME!!!!

 

so for a full week, i was down and out, depressed, lonely, and i just felt like she was trying to dump me, but she did not have the courage to just say.

 

come new years eve, she starts talking to me again, but she made her excuses to not see me even on NEW YEARS EVE

 

i was gutted, heart broken, i ended up at my exes house on years eve, she is like a best friend, nothing sexual between us... we just chatted, she gave me a hug.... i was feeling very low, and did not want to be all alone on new years eve.

 

anyhow, my girlfriend found out, i went to my exes... she dumped me... then asked me to come talk, a few days later.... then she ended it again... then we go back together....

 

her treatment of me got worse & worse... name calling, dis respecting me, even insulting me, in front of her children

 

i finally had enough... i stood up to her, told her she is well out of order talking to me like that.... i left her house angry and upset...

 

she then ended it.... and she found it all funny too....

 

2 hours from ending it with me.... she makes a post on facebook... CAN'T WAIT TO GO ON OUR SINGLES HOLIDAY IN 14 DAYS TIME

 

so she had booked this SINGLES holiday, even when we was both together.

 

 

does this sound like somebody, who i could depend and rely on, for the rest of my life????

 

someone i could marry, and have a child with?????

[kaitracid2010]

Like you I too received a hand written "card" from my ex after a couple weeks NC with a box of some of my stuff and a DVD with songs - which I played in my Computer for a second to so what was in it. It automatically started to play a Chris Brown song - "don't you judge me" or Something like that and I removed the DVD and never played it again. I read the card and then had my friends read it and told me their opinion as I ripped the card in pieces right in front of them.

The CD is collecting dust but I am saving it so I can listen to it after Im fully moved on just for sh*ts and giggles.

 

To be honest with you I have a very strong feeling what that letter says.

It is going to say that she is sorry for how things ended, and did love you and all the good things OUT OF GUILT, but it will not say what you want to hear which is that of a reconciliation or to even talk again on working things out in the future.

 

If you think you will be fine knowing you never read it, then the strongest message to send her would be RETURNING that letter back UNOPENED.

 

Otherwise you can play the indifferent role.

 

I opened my letter because I was curious to know wtf was going in her mind. When I gave it to my friend to read it after (He also was going through a breakup) he told me that if it was his ex who dumped him, he would just rip the letter right there and then without even reading it.

I guess some people deal with some situations different than others.

 

This is all up to you but just remember one thing.

If you do not see yourself in the future with this person anymore (No matter what your heart says now), then there is no need to even open the letter as whatever she says, you are going to be hurt either way. This is truly the main reason why I am doing so good after 3+ months NC.

 

Either you'll get hurt because of the negative things said on there or get hurt because no matter how positive and nice she could be, you're still going to have to shut down your feelings and try to move on.

 

The best thing in this situation is to avoid opening any type of wounds and go back to a few bad days and so far you have been doing a very good job not allowing that to happen.

 

You have the option to send her a very strong message and truly flip the tables around if you send that letter back unopened. Perhaps you don't understand it now, but some of us here REALLY REALLLLLYYY wished we had a chance to throw something back at our ex's face. Sometimes keeping NC doesn't hit them as hard.

 

thanx for your support my friend.... i agree with you... it would be in my best interest to just ignore this letter and throw it away.

 

simply because, getting back with this woman, would only ever bring me more pain and misery in the long run....

 

i know she would not treat me well, as she has proven that to me already.

 

so why expose myself to her bull crap.... as for throwing something back at the ex???

 

well it was only 1 week ago, she sent me 16 emails, over the space of 3 hours.... i only read one of them.... then straight ignored her.

 

she kept mailing me for nearly 3 hours... and all she got from me was total silence.... i am sure that must have annoyed her something crazy!

[adelia]

I've put up with a lot from exes but I've never been called names. That to me is one of the highest forms of disrespect. I cringe reading your posts because she treats you like dirt. Don't open the letter it'll only further mess with your mind. Get away from the abuse.

[Amelie1980]

thanx for your support my friend.... i agree with you... it would be in my best interest to just ignore this letter and throw it away.

 

simply because, getting back with this woman, would only ever bring me more pain and misery in the long run....

 

i know she would not treat me well, as she has proven that to me already.

 

so why expose myself to her bull crap.... as for throwing something back at the ex???

 

well it was only 1 week ago, she sent me 16 emails, over the space of 3 hours.... i only read one of them.... then straight ignored her.

 

she kept mailing me for nearly 3 hours... and all she got from me was total silence.... i am sure that must have annoyed her something crazy!

 

You've just answered it for yourself. Ignoring her made her mad so just ignore her.

[kaitracid2010]

the last contact i had with her, she hinted to me that SHE IS NOT SINGLE

 

this is just 7 days after our break up.... she could be just saying that, in order to hurt me.... because i have been ignoring her emails

 

she could be lying about that...... but maybe, just maybe she is not.

 

 

in that case, why should i even bother with her anymore.... i just don't trust her now.

 

 

does anybody else think, i should stay away from her for good????

[Seeking Happiness]

You should take control of your life and your emotions. When you realize that the realtionship with this woman was that bad, the only direction for you to go is to move on.

 

My Ex Boyfriend was stringing me along for a while. I was in denial about it and then reality kicked in and saved me (I'm so Dramatic lol). He was contacting over any little thing because he couldn't stand the thought of me moving on.

 

This is why these people do this. She is looking for attention and I would make sure I wouldn't give it to her no matter what. This is about you not her, it's a dead issue. You need to cut her off and do not respond to her whatsoever.

 

She will realize that you are moving on with your life. It will bother her for sure but this is about you moving on so that you can finally find the realtionship that you truly want.

 

This girl sounds horrible and didn't treat you right, it will never change. Try to find a girl who truly appreciates you.

 

This is about loving yourself and not accepting bad behavoir from anyone in your life. People will treat you the way you allow them to treat you.

 

Hope this helps

[KraftDinner]

With all her verbal abuse and the fact she loves rubbing it in your face that she's sleeping with/hanging with other dudes, no WAY is there anything nice in that letter.

 

If you never respond, she'll think she had the last laugh...that you read whatever poison is in that letter and that she wins. Her actions have been so petty that I think this is probably how she thinks.

 

She likes to be heard, doesn't she?

 

Don't give her the satisfaction. Return to sender...then she'll know you have no use for her cruelty.

[Seeking Happiness]

I agree return the letter to her unopened. that is a very clear message that you want nothing to do with her. No matter what contact she tries to make with you, ignore her.

[Emilia]

IF I WANT HER BACK IN MY LIFE

 

if you are considering letting her back in your life you have major codependency issues.

[Chi townD]

Look, some people are saying open it and some people say don't. Hell, even I told you two seperate things.

 

As I said before, it's completely up to you. If you feel that you are still emotionally distressed to hear anything she has to say and fear for falling for breadcrumbs, then don't open it.

 

If you feel like you can read the letter with your BRAIN and not your HEART, then go ahead and read it. But, you have to look at it outside the box and not what is actually written. Chances are she's feeling guilty on how things ended and how she treated you at the end. My money is on that, that letter is a lot of blameshifting to ease her own guilt. And, if you're strong enough, you'll be able to see it for what it is and disgard the letter without any emotional damage.

[kaitracid2010]

i am not going to read it... i will just return to sender...

 

 

i really don't believe there is a humble bone in this girls body... she will be blaming me, or just relieving guilt, for what she has done...

 

i have to start looking at this in a positive way.... i was ready to move in with her, ready to marry her... and i was so in love with her.. i was ready to try for a baby

 

i am certain, she would have ruined me later down the line! if she treats me like this now, then how much worse could it have got

 

i have to tell myself.... i dodged a bullet

[lovelifexx]

What I find so shocking is that you still love her after how she treated you. I could never be in love with anyone who even treated me half as bad.

 

In the relationships or during the breakup when the guy has treated me badly, I have found it very very easy to get over them. I dodged a bullet. Good riddance. But in my last relationship my ex treated me like a princess and broke up with me because of circumstance. It is the most painful break up I have every experienced. It's been three and a half months since the break up and it is just as painful as day one. I love him as much as I always have. It's a living hell. I wish he could hurt me so I could get over this.

 

I can't understand how you can still love her after all her abuse- Perhaps if you read the letter it will help you to move on and stop loving her.

[Chi townD]

i am not going to read it... i will just return to sender...

 

 

i really don't believe there is a humble bone in this girls body... she will be blaming me, or just relieving guilt, for what she has done...

 

i have to start looking at this in a positive way.... i was ready to move in with her, ready to marry her... and i was so in love with her.. i was ready to try for a baby

 

i am certain, she would have ruined me later down the line! if she treats me like this now, then how much worse could it have got

 

i have to tell myself.... i dodged a bullet

 

 

Good, decision has been made. You feeling better about it?

[kaitracid2010]

What I find so shocking is that you still love her after how she treated you. I could never be in love with anyone who even treated me half as bad.

 

In the relationships or during the breakup when the guy has treated me badly, I have found it very very easy to get over them. I dodged a bullet. Good riddance. But in my last relationship my ex treated me like a princess and broke up with me because of circumstance. It is the most painful break up I have every experienced. It's been three and a half months since the break up and it is just as painful as day one. I love him as much as I always have. It's a living hell. I wish he could hurt me so I could get over this.

 

I can't understand how you can still love her after all her abuse- Perhaps if you read the letter it will help you to move on and stop loving her.

 

 

why do i love her? i really don't know.

 

maybe it was just infactuation, she was a very attractive woman.

 

the time i am having apart from her, is making me realise that she was no good... when i was with her.... i don't know why.... but i kept blaming myself, i just could not see what was happening

 

i knew i was not being treated well, but i did not want to lose her... so i hanged on to the relationship, in the hope that things will get better

 

anyhow i have got rid of her now, and i will learn from this relationship... and never going to allow myself to be mistreated again.

[destroyed4sho]

why do i love her? i really don't know.

 

maybe it was just infactuation, she was a very attractive woman.

 

the time i am having apart from her, is making me realise that she was no good... when i was with her.... i don't know why.... but i kept blaming myself, i just could not see what was happening

 

i knew i was not being treated well, but i did not want to lose her... so i hanged on to the relationship, in the hope that things will get better

 

anyhow i have got rid of her now, and i will learn from this relationship... and never going to allow myself to be mistreated again.

 

Now, after 6 months of BU things have become so clear and I see that the way my ex handled problems was toxic. She would twist things around and then blame me even though she very well.knew she did something wrong. Ofcourse i would stick up for myself but in the end i always blamed myself. Now with the distance between us i see thigs clearly. She was a messed up person and not mature enough to admit to her mistakes or apologize so her only defense was to cast blame on others. So sad.

 

Im glad she is gone. I wish i had left her instead because she really deserved it. I did dodge a bullet there.

I think my hurt has turned into insecurity and anxiety about what the future holds. Will i ever fall in love again? Will i have ever have a family?

The truth is, i would of never had that with her anyway so i guess i didnt lose much.

 

I would take that letter return to sender. Who cares what she has to say, it will be all jibberish meaningless crap anyway.

Edited March 7, 2013 by destroyed4sho

[fancy feast]

Do what you need to do, but don't fret over this for days. Otherwise the letter will do its damage regardless of whether you read it or not.

[kaitracid2010]

why the hell do i miss her... what is wrong with me!!

 

i go through moments of utter relief, that i got away from her & a life of misery... then sometimes i feel gutted we are not together

[kaitracid2010]

i had a drink tonight, all i can think about is her... even went on a date yesterday & she was not for me at all... it made me miss my ex

[Amelie1980]

i had a drink tonight, all i can think about is her... even went on a date yesterday & she was not for me at all... it made me miss my ex

 

Open the letter then. maybe its an apology.

[Mack05]

why the hell do i miss her... what is wrong with me!!

 

i go through moments of utter relief, that i got away from her & a life of misery... then sometimes i feel gutted we are not together

 

Your problem is low self esteem. My last ex was toxic and abusive as well. Especially at the end. She never admitted to wrong doing and never apologised for the hurtful things she said to me.

 

Now that I have distance and put in hard work on myself, I see her exactly for what she is. Sure she has good in her (i'm sure your ex has too) but that doesn't mean she will make a good healthy long-term partner.

 

You will never be happy with a woman like this. Sure when things go well they are great, but its when things are not going well the facade they put up goes away and you see what's really underneath. Which is usually an angry, manipulative, toxic person.

 

Hurt people, hurt people. Your ex will never change. But you can....Return the letter to sender and then forgive your ex and wish her well (only in your mind).

 

Try buy the book the power of now. It shows you how to use your mind in a positive way and it explains when we use our minds negatively how it leads to bad choices. If you don't put the work on yourself, you will continue to attract girls like your ex. Choose a wiser path. Rebuild your self esteem and cut lose the shackles she has tied onto you.

[kaitracid2010]

Open the letter then. maybe its an apology.

 

no... it was the drink talking... besides if she lured me back in... i would only end up back on here, in a month or two... need to face reality

[Kenji]

I think you should open it.

[kaitracid2010]

Your problem is low self esteem. My last ex was toxic and abusive as well. Especially at the end. She never admitted to wrong doing and never apologised for the hurtful things she said to me.

 

Now that I have distance and put in hard work on myself, I see her exactly for what she is. Sure she has good in her (i'm sure your ex has too) but that doesn't mean she will make a good healthy long-term partner.

 

You will never be happy with a woman like this. Sure when things go well they are great, but its when things are not going well the facade they put up goes away and you see what's really underneath. Which is usually an angry, manipulative, toxic person.

 

Hurt people, hurt people. Your ex will never change. But you can....Return the letter to sender and then forgive your ex and wish her well (only in your mind).

 

Try buy the book the power of now. It shows you how to use your mind in a positive way and it explains when we use our minds negatively how it leads to bad choices. If you don't put the work on yourself, you will continue to attract girls like your ex. Choose a wiser path. Rebuild your self esteem and cut lose the shackles she has tied onto you.

 

 

i thank you soooo much for your post.... i do have very low esteem, that is my problem.

 

i have a friend same age as me... i asked him, what he would do in this situation... he said if his woman repeatedly treated him bad, or repeatedly disrespected him..... he would crack down big time... even if it meant she walked.

 

i have a chance now, to walk away from this, and try to live a peaceful life, without stress and fear & humiliation.... i have to do this, hard as it is

[Mack05]

i thank you soooo much for your post.... i do have very low esteem, that is my problem.

 

i have a friend same age as me... i asked him, what he would do in this situation... he said if his woman repeatedly treated him bad, or repeatedly disrespected him..... he would crack down big time... even if it meant she walked.

 

i have a chance now, to walk away from this, and try to live a peaceful life, without stress and fear & humiliation.... i have to do this, hard as it is

 

This is why returning the letter is such a powerful statement to her but more importantly for you. It would be such a positive step towards moving forward. Trust me mate no healthy relationships involve these kind of insults. Rise above her behaviour. She will do the EXACT same thing in her next relationship. It's only a matter of when.

 

I yearned for my last ex too (like you right now) and now that seems so ridiculous. About 4-5 months ago I read her toxic bile for the last time and smiled. I realised not only that it not have any effect on my anymore. I realised her insults said so much more about her, then it ever did about me.

 

There are loads of articles on the web about rebuilding self esteem so pick the one's that work for you. The one thing they all have in common is HARD WORK over a sustained period of time. It's about reprogramming the mind, understanding your emotions and your physical well being.

 

Returning the letter (without reading) as Tara suggested could be your first HUGE step on a path to a better life, then you could ever have with her...By returning the letter and eventually forgiving her, removes ALL her power that she has over you..

Edited March 7, 2013 by Mack05