Is it worth telling a good friend how I feel?

[Dickyrobberts]

Is it worth telling a good friend how I feel about her if she is involved (BF/GF type thing) with someone? I'm trying to collect some pros and cons of sharing these feelings with her. If its a good idea or not. I've kept things bottled up for a year already. Its affecting me greatly, this can't be healthy for me. I can't really avoid her and don't want to really. I wouldn't expect her to drop everything for me. I just don't want to bottle this up any longer. We can talk about everything else in the world. I find this so hard.

 

Anyone with experience with this?

[honey2005]

I just don't want to bottle this up any longer.

 

Then don't.

 

Its affecting me greatly, this can't be healthy for me.

 

It sounds like you've already made up your mind to tell her anyway. Just remember it might change your friendship with her, either for better or worse.

[Dickyrobberts]

yeah, thats pretty much a given, maybe what I'm looking for is some experiences. Good or Bad. I can't be the only one on this forum to deal with this. What direction did a friendship take for others in this predicament once something like this was shared with a friend?

[ChonChon]

I am going through the same thing. I plan to tell her this week. I wasn't sure if I was going to tell her or not. I don't expect anything from her. I just need to get it off my chest. I think I would forever regret it if I didn't let her know how I felt. I'll keep you posted.

[dmblive]

Yeah, my best girl friend and I just did this. Honesty is usually very appreciated, and its never good to hang out with someone and feel like you have a secret agenda with them. Turns out, my friend felt the same way about me, and I probably would not have known if I had not taken that step and said that I had feelings for her that went way beyond friendship. You will feel better afterward, but remember, it will change what you have together.

[brutus]

I went through the same thing. I ended up tellin her one night when we were drinking. She took it ok but said she couldn't date me for fear of ruining our friendship. I felt totally rejected! That was almost 2 years ago. We stayed friends and I would see her all the time. We even went to dinner a few times, just to hang out. She always made her intentions clear to me and let me know that there couldn't be anything between us. After talking to friends of mine I decided to not call or be around her as much. It helped a great deal and I actually started to meet more women.

All of a sudden out of no where I see her at a bar with her new b/f. I said hi and talked to her a little. We talked for a while and before I knew she had given me a "friendly" peck on the lips. Needless to say her boyfriend was not happy, but did not say anything. They come to the next bar with and as we are walking she grabs my hand and not her boyfriend's. They ended up breaking up over that night and ever since she has been calling me, and wanting to hang out. Our relationship has been brought up a few time over the past few months and she has said there is definately something there she just isn't sure if she wants to act on it. I feel like she definately has somethin for me and I know I've never felt this way about anyone before.

I guess my point in this long post is that sometime, not always!!!!, takin a break can make someone realize what they're missing. I'm not quite sure what is going on between us but we are getting together to watch movies this week. So I will keep you posted. I'm sorrey if this didn't help.

[priya]

hi ,

i am in the same situation as brutus only role reversal...i dont know shud i wait for him...i have already told him and he took it calmly we are still friends but then he goes n behaves very weirdly sometimes...i am trying to get used to the hot n cold treatment ...need advice

priya