neveragain34 Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 The last time I heard from him was mid January, when he told me wished a terminal illness on me (for telling his wife everything). Since affair ended in December, I've been working on myself and realized I'm worth more than the scraps of married man. Confidence has been restored and it's actually higher than its ever been. :-) I started dating a great guy about 5 weeks ago, taking it super slow, and really getting to know him before diving in to a relationship or sex. It's refreshing to be courted in a way I never have before. I finally realize what a respectful man is like, one who is willing to wait for sex and isn't feeding me a bunch of lines to get in my pants, but instead showing me he's into me through his actions. Anyway, back to the contact...got a random text this morning that said "Are you busy? I need a ride." I assumed he had the wrong person and replied, "wrong person?" (I know, I know, I shouldn't have replied, but I knew I could resist if he really did need a ride.) He said "No, I just had surgery and was remembering the last time you nursed me back to health. I can get a cab." A couple of months ago, i would have jumped in my car and been there for him, but instead I said "that's probably best. I'm sure you'll regret texting once the drugs wear off, but for what it's worth, I'm glad you remember the kind person I am, not the evil villainess you wished death upon before. Hope you have a speedy recovery." He said thanks and then a couple hours later he texted again! I guess he got a ride because this time it read "wish my naughty nurse was here as I ring the desire bell you gave me last time I was recovering. You were the best nurse ever. Sigh" Ugh! He was clearly horny and just wanted sex I'm sure. Told him that the drugs must still be working and he said "true, I better get some sleep and sober up. The devil is ringing the bell." I didn't reply and haven't heard back. I know I'm over him and would never put myself in that situation again, but I must admit , his contact really threw me for a loop today. As soon as I saw the text, I felt sick to my stomach and was a bit shaky. Is that a normal reaction? After someone tells you they want you dead, you really never expect to hear from them again. It was like seeing a ghost. Hoping it really was just the drugs talking and he won't contact me again, but if he does, I will definitely ignore it this time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
eleanorrigby Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 wow, each text was heinous. Manipulating and disrespectful of both you and his wife. (I assume the devil ringing the bell is his wife *rolls eyes*) Glad you are shed of him. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
stevie_23 Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 OMG! I can’t believe this! It’s as if the drugs (I guess) made his brain just completely forget what had happened over the past couple of months and revert back to when you were still together!!! And calling his wife the devil!? OMG! Why is he still with her if he hates her THAT much!? Link to post Share on other sites
spice4life Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 Were you referring to his wife Neveragain? I took it to mean the devil in his head was ringing the bell...lol! Link to post Share on other sites
stevie_23 Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 OH! I assumed it was his wife, and thought to myself HOW RUDE!!! lol 1 Link to post Share on other sites
spice4life Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 Oh, and yes...those texts were disgustingly disrespectful. What an a**! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stevie_23 Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 I KNOW! Like...I said I wished you'd die of a terminal illness, but HEY, can you come and pick me up from the hospital and then be my "naughty nurse"?!!?!? WTF!? Would he have been HER "deviant doctor" when she got that terminal illness he wished on her?!? lol Neveragain34, I also wanted to say I commend you for your VERY nice, polite, civil and understanding text responses. Link to post Share on other sites
Author neveragain34 Posted March 7, 2013 Author Share Posted March 7, 2013 Were you referring to his wife Neveragain? I took it to mean the devil in his head was ringing the bell...lol! He meant it was him ringing the bell, but the devil was making him do it because I am a temptress. Lol He is screwed up in so many ways; today just proved it. I could have been mean, but it's not worth the energy. I feel sorry for him now that I see just how pathetic he really is. The guy had back surgery and no oke to even pick him up, not even his wife! His narcissism is truly a psychological disorder he will never be rid of. Glad I see that now. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
stevie_23 Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 OMG, so he was blaming you and holding YOU responsible AGAIN for “tempting” him!? Or else he was blaming the “devil” for tempting him? Oh wow. Are you glad you’re not with him anymore? He sounds very immature and unable to take ownership of his actions! Link to post Share on other sites
spice4life Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 He meant it was him ringing the bell, but the devil was making him do it because I am a temptress. Lol He is screwed up in so many ways; today just proved it. I could have been mean, but it's not worth the energy. I feel sorry for him now that I see just how pathetic he really is. The guy had back surgery and no oke to even pick him up, not even his wife! His narcissism is truly a psychological disorder he will never be rid of. Glad I see that now. That's awesome! You have really moved leaps and bounds once you figured out what this guy was all about. Good for you! Best wishes with the new guy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
spice4life Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 OMG, so he was blaming you and holding YOU responsible AGAIN for “tempting” him!? Or else he was blaming the “devil” for tempting him? Oh wow. Are you glad you’re not with him anymore? He sounds very immature and unable to take ownership of his actions! Don't beat me up for using a label, but neveragain was involved with a "text book narcissist." He was a definitely pathological. She is very happy she's not with him anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Author neveragain34 Posted March 7, 2013 Author Share Posted March 7, 2013 OMG, so he was blaming you and holding YOU responsible AGAIN for “tempting” him!? Or else he was blaming the “devil” for tempting him? Oh wow. Are you glad you’re not with him anymore? He sounds very immature and unable to take ownership of his actions! I am soooo glad I'm not with him anymore. When we first met, I was the happiest woman alive, but that was short lived. Whirlwind romances like that never last. The day I discovered he was married, I should have ran, but instead our relationship became THE most dysfunctional one I've ever had and when it ended, the aftermath was a huge slap in the face for me and WIDE AWAKENING! I don't regret it though; I needed to meet someone like him to realize I couldn't keep living the life I was living. If it wasnt him, it was some other jerk or one night stand to make me temporarily feel good about myself. Being with him made me dig deep into my past, but this time instead of blaming my childhood for the poor decisions I've made, I see things from a different perspective and am proactive now, rather than reactive. Threw out the Prozac I started taking when I ended the A, changed my diet (now paleo), and started going to CrossFit 5-6 times a week. Working out has been the best thing for me; it truly does change your mental state of mind for the better. Not only that, it makes you look and feel good. I know this sounds so cheesy, but maybe if I can inspire just one OW out there, it's worth it. I'm going to write a book someday too. Haha 2 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 What an arrogant clocksucker! Really. Reading this just really pissed me off. Such disrespect for you. After the way he treated you and what he said, he does this after a couple of months of silence? PRICK. You are a kind person to wish him well. Just don't spend too much time over thinking this. And please, ignore him next time he calls. Or even better, change your number. Link to post Share on other sites
Author neveragain34 Posted March 7, 2013 Author Share Posted March 7, 2013 What an arrogant clocksucker! Really. Reading this just really pissed me off. Such disrespect for you. After the way he treated you and what he said, he does this after a couple of months of silence? PRICK. You are a kind person to wish him well. Just don't spend too much time over thinking this. And please, ignore him next time he calls. Or even better, change your number. I will definitly ignore him, but I'm not changing the number I've had for over 10 years because of this moron. He's not worth it. I was probably too kind in wishing him well, but again, he will be sad and miserable his entire life and the misery he brought me was only temporary. Besides, I'm not saying I asked for it, but I chose to stay with him after finding out he was married. Like every OW on here, I made excuse after excuse for him and for staying, instead of owning up to my part. I am partly to blame for everything too and just want to close this chapter in my life. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Lillyfree Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 i admire you for being so polite and understanding. i definitely wouldn't be in your situation. there would be some expletives and telling him where he can go. what an a*sehole. drugs or not, he should have his head checked - you don't treat people that way. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
spice4life Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 I am soooo glad I'm not with him anymore. When we first met, I was the happiest woman alive, but that was short lived. Whirlwind romances like that never last. The day I discovered he was married, I should have ran, but instead our relationship became THE most dysfunctional one I've ever had and when it ended, the aftermath was a huge slap in the face for me and WIDE AWAKENING! I don't regret it though; I needed to meet someone like him to realize I couldn't keep living the life I was living. If it wasnt him, it was some other jerk or one night stand to make me temporarily feel good about myself. Being with him made me dig deep into my past, but this time instead of blaming my childhood for the poor decisions I've made, I see things from a different perspective and am proactive now, rather than reactive. Threw out the Prozac I started taking when I ended the A, changed my diet (now paleo), and started going to CrossFit 5-6 times a week. Working out has been the best thing for me; it truly does change your mental state of mind for the better. Not only that, it makes you look and feel good. I know this sounds so cheesy, but maybe if I can inspire just one OW out there, it's worth it. I'm going to write a book someday too. Haha I've followed your story and I'm sooo happy for you! You're an inspiration. Link to post Share on other sites
Author neveragain34 Posted March 8, 2013 Author Share Posted March 8, 2013 I've followed your story and I'm sooo happy for you! You're an inspiration. Aww, Thank you!!! I haven't had a chance to catch up on here, but if you are in a similar situation as I was, I hope you find the strength to be free of it soon!! I know it's rough, but you've just for rip him off like a bandaid. Link to post Share on other sites
Author neveragain34 Posted March 12, 2013 Author Share Posted March 12, 2013 Ugh! He texted again yesterday... "I am really sorry about the other day. If I wasn't so sedated I would not have done that to you. It was not fair to ask anything of you after everything I've done. I miss you a lot and this is a very ****ty time in my life. I won't let it happn again" WTF?!?! How do you go from loathing someone so much to missing them? What a lie, he is probably just horny. He is clearly trying to work his way back into my life. I didn't reply and don't plan on it. Wish he would just go away and let me enjoy my new life! Link to post Share on other sites
ThatJustHappened Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 Can you block him? Link to post Share on other sites
Lillyfree Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 forward the message to his wife, he'll go back to loathing you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author neveragain34 Posted March 13, 2013 Author Share Posted March 13, 2013 Can you block him? Not sure, but he tried blocking me in the past and it still went through the iPhone as an iMessage, not a text. Not forwarding to his wife. I've created enough problems and the last thing you want to do is piss a narcissist off. (Another reason I've managed to stay calm through his recent texts.) He'll get the point if he hasn't already. Link to post Share on other sites
ThatJustHappened Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 Not sure, but he tried blocking me in the past and it still went through the iPhone as an iMessage, not a text. Not forwarding to his wife. I've created enough problems and the last thing you want to do is piss a narcissist off. (Another reason I've managed to stay calm through his recent texts.) He'll get the point if he hasn't already. Yeah no, you can't block iMessages. It's so irritating! Well..stay strong and keep ignoring him!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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