guest Posted September 6, 2004 Share Posted September 6, 2004 I need advice. I've been living with my boyfriend for nearly 6 years. We have had a great relationship so far. Last year he suggested that we get married, but didn't want to straight away, because he didn't have the money. I was excited and we talked about getting an engagement ring ; he of course freaked out and asked me to stop harassing him. I thought maybe I was applying a little too much pressure and backed off.] I decided to make it less threatening by suggesting he have 6 months to get it together and get me an engagement ring. If after 6 months he had not given me an engagement ring then I would take that as a no and I would move out and get on with my life. I felt bad for making an ultimatum but felt it was necessary. I was convinced he was getting something together. He had a diamond in a little velvet pouch and magazine cut outs of rings. 6 months are now over I asked him if I was getting my hopes up for nothing and he said, "I'm organizing it. I'll have the ring to you by this weekend. Stop harassing me. So, the weekend arrives and no ring. I responded, "You don't really want to do this do you?, I've given you 6 months and you haven't gotten the ring." I even suggested that we go together and shop for one. He responded, I'm organizing something special so leave me alone. The next day he arrives back at home with a piece of metal (which looked like a bolt of some sort). He said that was the ring in progress. I was horrified. He was trying to make me a ring out of nickel. I said to him, "You can't make an engagement ring out of nickel." I couldn't believe it. This morning I asked him why he was being all so blasé and why he thought he could just give a piece of metal for an engagement ring, and he said he thought it would be really special if he just made it. I asked him this morning what his parents thought about us getting engaged and he responded, "I told them that you've threatened me that if I don't marry you, then you are going to leave me. They told me, "No, she won't leave you." What should I do? I don't know what to think of all of this. I said to him this morning that I have to leave now because he promised an engagement but wasn't doing anything about it. He seems to think that I'll stay because I love him and that I'm overreacting over a ring. HELP Link to post Share on other sites
overseas2004 Posted September 6, 2004 Share Posted September 6, 2004 Why are you posted under infidelity. As far as I can read from your post noone has been unfaithful. But to answer your question... no one should ever try to force a man to marry them. They either do it or they dont do it. The ultimatums and all that crap are one big mistake. You should have just tried to stay as long as you felt good and then left if you felt the relationship is going nowhere. And done all that without a word to him. Now you really do need to leave. And remember... love is not supposed to be material. So what if he wanted to make you a ring? Is that what you are really concerned about? Or do you love this man? What if he doesn't have the finances? Link to post Share on other sites
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