a Girlfriend

[Ted]

I am a 22-year-old male virgin who’s never had a girlfriend. Although I am pretty obsessive about most things in my life, I find myself thinking a lot about sex. I received some counseling, but it didn't really help with my problem. To make matters worse, my parents put a lot of pressure on me. As an overachiever, it is hard for me to accept the fact that I can't seem to get a girlfriend. I want to have sex really bad. I really want some advise how Ican get a girlfriend to have sex with.

[Tony T]

You don't have a girlfriend because of your sickening reason for wanting one.

 

Yes, sex is nice but for that to be the primary reason for finding a girlfriend, as you have posted, you can take some money out of your piggy bank...or ask your parents for some early Christmas cash, and pay for a prostitute.

 

The more I think about it, the more I feel you should just do the prositute thing.

 

Your post will make most women puke so you better be glad I got to this one first.

 

The object of dating and of having a girlfriend is to get to know someone in a deeper way, to enjoy companionship and sharing, to enjoy the emotional security of having someone meaningful in your life. And, yes, if sex should come into play as an expression of those things then it becomes a loving part of the relationship.

 

If sex is the only component of a relationship you seek, or that is all you are looking for a girlfriend for, then the sex is primarilly an exercise in masturbation and your sexual objectification of women enters the arena of the pathological.

 

I really think it would be nice if all young men had a girlfriend, and you included. But I pray to God that you do not find a victim, uh, I mean girlfriend, until you learn a lot more about relationships, about love, about social graces, about human respect, about decency, about consideration, and mostly about the purpose of women on this planet.

 

When you change your attitude completely, so that sex is an outgrowth of a greater goal of finding a female counterpart for sharing of time, energy, spirituality, recreation, etc., then you certainly will get one.

 

But I will fight any battle any time to keep any female from coming anywhere near you while you hold your current attitude.

 

If you need some money for a whore and you are really desperate, I'm sure your friends will spring for the cash. Also, you can find them by using a good Internet search engine, such as yahoo.com, and enter: "escorts" into the search field. You will be directed to a site in or near your town.

 

Your counsellor and your parents have not served you well in your development as a civil and feeling human being and you can tell them I said so.

 

I also pray that I have totally and completely misinterpreted your post and you did not really mean to write what you did. I can't imagine someone with the attitude I think you have actually existing. I gotta be wrong here...I certainly hope so.

 

If I'm way off on this, if your reasons for wanting a girl are way different that my impression, post again more clearly and I would love to recommend ways of you finding a girlfriend.

[Di]

Ted,

 

Sometimes I don't always agree with what Tony says,

 

but in this instace, I must say that he hit it right on the nose.

 

Ted, I am also 22 and a virgin girl, but I know that there is way more to a relationship then sex. I have only ever had one boyfriend, and he didn't even so much as kiss me.

 

So basically, I still have my "first" everything to share with that speical guy someday.

 

Respect and appreciate your virginity. Once you loose it, you can't have it back. I know that may sound corny...

 

but when you get married, you will be glad that you didn't give "IT" to all different people... and saved it for that one person.

 

Please get some help before you try to find a girlfriend.

 

You will be doing both your girlfriend and yourself a favor.

 

One thing that I did not agree with Tony on... was about getting a prostitute... DONT! If you MUST satisfy yourself.. then mastrubate... that is the safest sex.

 

But I don't think you should do that either.

 

Just think about what each of us have said... and take what you want.

You don't have a girlfriend because of your sickening reason for wanting one. Yes, sex is nice but for that to be the primary reason for finding a girlfriend, as you have posted, you can take some money out of your piggy bank...or ask your parents for some early Christmas cash, and pay for a prostitute. The more I think about it, the more I feel you should just do the prositute thing. Your post will make most women puke so you better be glad I got to this one first. The object of dating and of having a girlfriend is to get to know someone in a deeper way, to enjoy companionship and sharing, to enjoy the emotional security of having someone meaningful in your life. And, yes, if sex should come into play as an expression of those things then it becomes a loving part of the relationship. If sex is the only component of a relationship you seek, or that is all you are looking for a girlfriend for, then the sex is primarilly an exercise in masturbation and your sexual objectification of women enters the arena of the pathological.

 

I really think it would be nice if all young men had a girlfriend, and you included. But I pray to God that you do not find a victim, uh, I mean girlfriend, until you learn a lot more about relationships, about love, about social graces, about human respect, about decency, about consideration, and mostly about the purpose of women on this planet. When you change your attitude completely, so that sex is an outgrowth of a greater goal of finding a female counterpart for sharing of time, energy, spirituality, recreation, etc., then you certainly will get one. But I will fight any battle any time to keep any female from coming anywhere near you while you hold your current attitude. If you need some money for a whore and you are really desperate, I'm sure your friends will spring for the cash. Also, you can find them by using a good Internet search engine, such as yahoo.com, and enter: "escorts" into the search field. You will be directed to a site in or near your town. Your counsellor and your parents have not served you well in your development as a civil and feeling human being and you can tell them I said so. I also pray that I have totally and completely misinterpreted your post and you did not really mean to write what you did. I can't imagine someone with the attitude I think you have actually existing. I gotta be wrong here...I certainly hope so. If I'm way off on this, if your reasons for wanting a girl are way different that my impression, post again more clearly and I would love to recommend ways of you finding a girlfriend.

[Paulie]

What is wrong with masturbation, Di?

[Nic]

my sentiments exactly, paulie.

 

masturbation is a totally natural way to release sexual energy, to find out what pleasures you, and the only person it will harm is you if you go a bit too wild with your wrists or something. and besides, a man can't go wrong with mrs palmer and her 5 daughters. they're always there, even if your girlfriend isn't.

 

it is not a sin, or disgusting, it is natural. if it were either of the two, we'd be born without genitalia and hands and where on earth would the human race be then???

What is wrong with masturbation, Di?

[Tony T]

Di endorsed masturbation as being the safest sex. She endorsed it as an alternative to my suggestion that this guy contract with prostitutes. IN NO WAY DID SHE SAY IT WAS BAD OR INAPPROPRIATE.

 

My suggestion that he hire prostitutes was only to make a point...in a way.

 

At any rate, we probably ought to read posts a bit more closely before charging back.

 

You guys go back and read it again. Di is getting a bad rap here.

[Tony T]

It does seem that Di then came back and said people shouldn't masturbate either. However, being a veteran Florida vote counter, I say Di is definitely in favor of masturbation vs. prositution and as an alternative means of satisfying one's sexual appetitite.

[Nic]

Point taken. But the angle i was coming from (and probably paulie too)is that masturbation, being the safest form of sex, prostitutes no being an option, and sexual release being a big issue for this guy, then what is wrong with masturbation?

 

Di says:

 

"then mastrubate... that is the safest sex.

 

But I don't think you should do that either."

 

I just want to know - why not? it's a totally safe thing and a harmless thing to do.

It does seem that Di then came back and said people shouldn't masturbate either. However, being a veteran Florida vote counter, I say Di is definitely in favor of masturbation vs. prositution and as an alternative means of satisfying one's sexual appetitite.

[Tony T]

Sounds great to me!!!

 

While we're on the subject:

 

I remember the first time I even had sex. I was so frightened....I was all alone!!!

 

When I was a teen, my father always told me: "Love thy neighbor as thyself." I asked my dad: "So you want me to do him too???"

 

FYI...those are old Rodney Dangerfield jokes, not mine (and edited for a general audience).

[Nic]

he he! just in case you're wondering, i wasn't criticising di's post, it's just a bit ambiguous that's all. if someone doesn't believe in masturbation, that's their choice and i would never judge them for it and vice-versa.

 

her whole post i pretty much agreed with. she has very good points. especially safe sex. that is so important, no matter how you have sex, or who or what with (no animals or children, that is simply cruel and disgusting and i would shoot someone down personally if i knew them and they did).

 

safe sex is the only way.

Sounds great to me!!! While we're on the subject: I remember the first time I even had sex. I was so frightened....I was all alone!!! When I was a teen, my father always told me: "Love thy neighbor as thyself." I asked my dad: "So you want me to do him too???" FYI...those are old Rodney Dangerfield jokes, not mine (and edited for a general audience).

 

[Di]

Hey Guys,

 

Sorry for not responding back. I didn't think that my statement would even be responded to so quickly!!

 

Thank you Tony for standing up for me. I apprecaited that.

 

Ok, as for what I said. As everyone else, I have my own personal views on the topic of mastrubation. I do not condemn anyone else's views at all, as I would not want my own veiws to be respected. I am very interested in hearing other's views on the subject, in fact.

 

The way that I see mastrubation, is that people start to become 'lovers of themselves.' There have been many problem relationships over this topic. I don't belive there is any problem with releasing some energy, but one would have to be careful not to allow it to become an obsession. I can't see that someone could have a normal relationship with a "REAL" person after mastrubating for any period of time. That is just my view. Yes, I do say to do that before a prostitute. I was very happy to hear that Tony did not really mean that.

 

Thanks for your responses!

 

An ps...Nic, I'd join up with you to shoot those disgusing people too - the ones who molest creatures and moreover children. They should be castrated!!

 

 

 

he he! just in case you're wondering, i wasn't criticising di's post, it's just a bit ambiguous that's all. if someone doesn't believe in masturbation, that's their choice and i would never judge them for it and vice-versa. her whole post i pretty much agreed with. she has very good points. especially safe sex. that is so important, no matter how you have sex, or who or what with (no animals or children, that is simply cruel and disgusting and i would shoot someone down personally if i knew them and they did). safe sex is the only way.