Ex wants to move

[Meadad]

My ex and I share custody 50/50 with our daughter. She lives only 10 miles away. Our daughter is 13. I have a wonderful new wife and baby son (1year). Ex wants to move 3 hrs away without our daughter. She says she has no life here and and cant find decent employment. She wants to find a job and possibly go back to school. I feel that she is not thinking about our daughter and only about herself.

My concern is that she is leaving at a very crucial time in our daughters life. What rights may I have when it comes down to a new parenting plan and child support? I will become the primary caregiver and I like that idea but can she make me drive half way just so she can see her for about 24 hours every other weekend. That would disrupt my time with my family. Or do I have the right to say she has to come here to see her.

[Eggplant]

Legally, I know nothing.

 

What seems fair, to me, is that the mother who wants to relocate do the travelling. That's certainly a lot of money for gas, and a lot of time. If you have custody, she should pay you child support, I should think.

 

Is she single? Maybe she feels sad that you have started a new family.

 

What kind of great job prospects are there for her in the other location? Could your family relocate with her (not that you should if you don't want to).

 

If I were the daughter, I'd miss my mom!

[OpenBook]

I've lived this exact scenario (as the divorced single Mom). Screw the courts! If you are taking care of your DD, then your xW has to make the arrangements to see her. Period. Keep it simple. It's fine to negotiate with your xW on the visits (if you have any kind of decent relationship with her). But no you don't have to cater to her. Whatever is best for your DD is always the top priority, then your schedule is the next top priority.

 

And BTW, it is perfectly natural for your DD to "separate" psychologically from her mother at 13. It's part of the growing-up process for a girl. There's nothing wrong with it. She needs YOU now more than ever. Your relationship with her as her Dad will profoundly affect her relationships with men for the rest of her life. I'm so glad you're willing to be there for her!!

 

If you can survive her teenage years, the rest of it's gravy!! Good luck!

[todreaminblue]

My ex and I share custody 50/50 with our daughter. She lives only 10 miles away. Our daughter is 13. I have a wonderful new wife and baby son (1year). Ex wants to move 3 hrs away without our daughter. She says she has no life here and and cant find decent employment. She wants to find a job and possibly go back to school. I feel that she is not thinking about our daughter and only about herself.

My concern is that she is leaving at a very crucial time in our daughters life. What rights may I have when it comes down to a new parenting plan and child support? I will become the primary caregiver and I like that idea but can she make me drive half way just so she can see her for about 24 hours every other weekend. That would disrupt my time with my family. Or do I have the right to say she has to come here to see her.

 

 

I moved interstate with my daughters when my ex and i split, i have full custody and i pay for half the airfares......he pays child support....we have a private agreement and never had to go to court.....i didn't have to pay half the fares but i thought it was right to do so since i moved away to be closer to my support network fo family and my friends.....in my opinion its good if you can keep the courts out of the arrangement.....talk to your ex wife voice your concerns over leaving and how it will affect your daughter....and how does your daughter feel about all this,she is old enough to have an opinion, have you spoken to her, to see what her thoughts on this arrangement are, is she settled in school where she is,does she have friends.....hobbies sports teams on weekends?..woudl seh still have that stbility of goign to the same school etc if her rmum were to leave?...deb

[Meadad]

I moved interstate with my daughters when my ex and i split, i have full custody and i pay for half the airfares......he pays child support....we have a private agreement and never had to go to court.....i didn't have to pay half the fares but i thought it was right to do so since i moved away to be closer to my support network fo family and my friends.....in my opinion its good if you can keep the courts out of the arrangement.....talk to your ex wife voice your concerns over leaving and how it will affect your daughter....and how does your daughter feel about all this,she is old enough to have an opinion, have you spoken to her, to see what her thoughts on this arrangement are, is she settled in school where she is,does she have friends.....hobbies sports teams on weekends?..woudl seh still have that stbility of goign to the same school etc if her rmum were to leave?...deb

 

My daughter's entire life is here. Her friends hobbies sports not to mention me and her little brother. We, meaning me, my wife daughter, have a great relationship. She has said she is ok with spending more time with us. I have asked her to write down everything she is feeling not only about her mom moving but also include anything else she want us (mom and I) to know. I told her that this move is going to effect her more than anybody else and that she has every right to tell me and her mom her thoughts. Told her not to worry about anybody's feelings but her own on this subject.

These are the questions I have asked X to answer and so far no response.

 

- How do you think this move is in the best interest for Lindsay?

- How do you plan on continuing with our co-parenting?

- Why are you drastically changing your relationship with Lindsay?

- How do you think your decisions will effect Lindsay's everyday life?

- How are you planning on continuing your financial obligations to Lindsay?

- What will be your means of income?

- Where do you plan on living?

She's a great kid. I can't imagine not being nearby.

Not sure exactly what advice I'm seeking here. Guess I'm just venting.