2Confuzed Posted September 6, 2004 Share Posted September 6, 2004 I hate that you’re married I hate that you have a full life that keeps you busy I hate that I wait for you to call I hate that I don’t go out just because you might come over I hate that you pretend to be unhappy If you are so unhappy, then leave I hate that you sleep by her side every night I hate that I sleep by myself I hate that you pretend you don’t have sex with her I hate that you say you’ll leave, but can’t say when I hate that you are still with her I hate that she will be the one that sees you on Christmas morning, not me I hate that you don’t call me for days then act like it’s okay I hate that you seem to only remember me when you get to work I hate that you come to get me to smoke and tease me with your smile I hate that you smell so good I hate that I can’t stop thinking about you I hate that I can’t stop picturing a life with you I hate that you flirt with me I hate that you lead me to believe that I am your soul mate I hate that when I tell you how I feel, you tell me to move on if you’re holding me back I hate that you act like everything is okay when it’s not I hate that you cheated on your wife when you first got married I hate that you’re cheating on your wife with me I hate that you stood before family and friends and vowed to always love her I hate that you loved her enough to marry her I hate that you have a home together I hate that I let you know how much I love you I hate that you use the love I have for you against me I hate that I can’t sleep because I’m thinking about you. I hate that I can’t have you I love you, and I hate that Link to post Share on other sites
Papillon Posted September 6, 2004 Share Posted September 6, 2004 Come now, tell us how you really feel. Don't be shy. Link to post Share on other sites
pixie2004 Posted September 6, 2004 Share Posted September 6, 2004 Pap (never thought i'd say this) but you are sooooo unsensitive today!!! 2Confused - I really like your poem. It is lovely. I hope (x my fingers) that I would never be in such a situation - never say never... Never knew that there are so many OW out there!!! Makes me think twice of getting married.... Link to post Share on other sites
2ndgenrationOW Posted September 6, 2004 Share Posted September 6, 2004 that was very good and i agree withyou 100%. it sucks cause you can not choice who you fall in love with even if they are with someone elses, even if you knew right after meeting them sometimes love just kicks you in the butt. and he will not give you answer. i love your poem. Link to post Share on other sites
Papillon Posted September 6, 2004 Share Posted September 6, 2004 Unsensitive? Hmm...maybe..it's monday morning Anycase, she doesn't need my sympathy, she's wallowing in enough of her own, and she brought it upon herself.... Link to post Share on other sites
Kizzyfur Posted September 6, 2004 Share Posted September 6, 2004 Originally posted by 2ndgenrationOW it sucks cause you can not choice who you fall in love with even if they are with someone elses, even if you knew right after meeting them sometimes love just kicks you in the butt. You may not be able to choose who you fall in love with, but it is completely up to you whether or not to stay with him/her. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 6, 2004 Share Posted September 6, 2004 That's a rough read right there. Screaming pain!! Try and take back some power from him. Easier said than done but you need to try. Live for you and accept things as they are. It sucks and I feel for what you're feeling, must be really horrible! Link to post Share on other sites
guest Posted September 6, 2004 Share Posted September 6, 2004 I think you need to start seeing other men. Don't let him have total control over you and your life. Try to move on before it's too late to make a new start and you are completely disillusioned. Be happy with what you had with him, for whatever joy it gave/gives you and leave it at that. Don't opt out from other joy with other people just because of him. As you've pointed out, he certainly doesn't. And this can happen with any man, married or single, if you give him the control. I know this is easier said than done of course, but this is my advice. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 2Confuzed Posted September 6, 2004 Author Share Posted September 6, 2004 Thank you for your comments. I didn't really think anyone would read this, but I had to write it for myself. It's weird how different it sounds after coming back later in the day and reading what I wrote again. Thank you again. Link to post Share on other sites
pixie2004 Posted September 7, 2004 Share Posted September 7, 2004 2Confused.... I really like your poems. came back today to see if you wrote anymore. keep them rolling girl! Link to post Share on other sites
Author 2Confuzed Posted September 7, 2004 Author Share Posted September 7, 2004 I spoke to a male friend of mine and got a totally different perspective on the situation. He made me feel 100% better. My thoughts have changed a little.... My sleeves are rolled up so you can no longer see my feelings How could I let you get the best of me? If you want me, you can call me I might not answer, I don't want you to think I'm waiting by the phone If you want me, you better call in advance, I might have plans Then again, I might not have plans, but you'll never know What's wrong? Does it surprise you that I didn't get mad at you for not calling me for 4 days? I didn't even mention it because that's what you were waiting for Does it piss you off that I seem like I don't care? Are you frustrated because I'm even harder to read than I was before? Are you confused because I no longer feel that need to tell you how I feel? Does it piss you off because I might be out with someone else when you can't reach me? Well, guess what? I am not married, you are I can do what I want and see who I want You can't stop me It doesn't change the fact that I would give anything to be with you But you wouldn't know that, because I'm not talking If you want me, you know where to find me If you want me, stop "talking" and start "doing" If you want me, you'll leave her Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 7, 2004 Share Posted September 7, 2004 Like that one too! Standing O!! Glad you got a better perspective and are feeling better. I bet you are not as upset and feeling alot stronger. Link to post Share on other sites
Tracy Posted September 7, 2004 Share Posted September 7, 2004 Unsensitive? Hmm...maybe..it's monday morning Anycase, she doesn't need my sympathy, she's wallowing in enough of her own, and she brought it upon herself.... I'm not sure why, and I'm sure it wasn't intended to....but this (you, Pap) crack me up. Oh, and I have been a OW, long ago. I hate to say this, but Pap's right. And, funny Link to post Share on other sites
Taken_Angel Posted September 7, 2004 Share Posted September 7, 2004 I hate that when I tell you how I feel, you tell me to move on if you’re holding me back Sorry this says it ALL you are his "convience toy" he obviously has no plan on leaving her or else he wouldn't say these things to you. You KNOW he's married and he's telling you to move on if you're not okay with the way things are now so why don't you? I know it will be hard but come on, do you really want to live this way for the rest of your life...none of us are getting any younger and chances are you are allowing a lot of better opportunities pass you by in the hopes of this man someday "leaving his wife and being with JUST you" honestly it will probably never happen! Read what you wrote (what I quoted above) and re-read it until you see how un-feeling he is about your relationship, it sounds like he could take it or leave it, basically he doesn't care either way. Link to post Share on other sites
EC Posted September 7, 2004 Share Posted September 7, 2004 Very good poems. I like the second one better. Girl power!! Lol I don't know why someone would put themselves in that position? I'm not going to say anything though because you really never can pick who you fall in love with and hey it could happen to me? Like someone posted earlier you can't chose who you fall in love with but you can chose to stay or not. I feel for you and I hope one day you have the strengh to look in the mirror and say "I am a good person who deserves better" You deserve to have someone to wake up next to. you deserve someone to wake up with on Christmas morning. You deserve someone that will be there when you need them. You deserve someone that will think of you always and not just when they get to work. I hope that one day comes for you. My mother was the OW for a while and I saw all the pain she went through. And of course what I went through not having a father figure and the one I did have was someone else's daddy. It's not fun and you do deserve better. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 2Confuzed Posted September 7, 2004 Author Share Posted September 7, 2004 I hate that when I tell you how I feel, you tell me to move on if you’re holding me back I think you misunderstood. When he says this, he is telling me out of respect, not because I'm a "toy." I'm not trying to defend him but we have discussed this before. He says things like that because he knows that I am not his. Just like seeing other people, he admits that he doesn't like when I do, but out of respect, he can't tell me not to because he is not in the position to do so. Link to post Share on other sites
myotherself25 Posted September 8, 2004 Share Posted September 8, 2004 I need to tell you that I have felt such relentless agony and confusion in the past few weeks and when I read all your thoughts on what you hate (especially the way he smells so good) it was the first time it dawned on me that there are lots and lots of other people out there feeling what I'm feeling. I wish I could say it eases the pain, but it's still too fresh and raw to me. But it moved me because I felt each and every line rip at my soul, and I can tell you with absolute sincerity that I understand, truly, what you are/were feeling. Link to post Share on other sites
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