ddlovexx Posted March 8, 2013 Share Posted March 8, 2013 (edited) Hey there, Been with my boyfriend almost 9 months now. I'm 22, he's 24, I love him a lot, he loves me, I want to spend my life with him, blah blah lovey blah etc, you know the story. Things have been a little rocky lately and he's been lying a lot, about pointless things and I don't understand. First of all I know he's not cheating on me, because he works 60+ hours and we have all the same friends and I'm pretty close to his family. I don't think he could cheat if he wanted to. But anyway, he lies about little things that drive me nuts. A few months ago, one night he told me he was tired and going to bed, this was around 9pm. At 10pm I took a stroll out to a bar we (us and friends) usually hang out at and boom... he was there. My stomach dropped and I just stared at him and he said "Oh I guess the text didn't go through" and then I turned around for a second (in disbelief) and when I turned back saw him type it in real quick and show me that it 'didn't go through'. He argued that he didn't lie, etc. blah blah blah and we fought mostly about the fact that he's "not a liar"... not about the fact that he was there when he said he was sleeping. I always tell him he can have nights out with the guys and I'll go with the girls, that doesn't bother me- the lying part does. This happened twice. The second time he told me he wanted to "surprise me" and show up. Last week on Sunday he told me he had to work. Okay, no biggie, who cares... next thing I see on instagram is a picture of him at the Devils game. When I confronted him he apologized and said he'd never lie again. Of course I don't really trust him much right now... lying to me over something so stupid. I'm not controlling in any sense and I want the guy to enjoy his life too. Lately he's been ignoring me texts saying he's "swamped at work" but somehow still finds time to post on instagram. At first I didn't think much of it and then it became constant, but when I bring it up he calls me psycho, says he's not lying, says instagram posted it at the wrong time (when the picture is a snapshot of his PHONE that says the time on his PHONE nevermind instagram)... every excuse in the book. My thing is, I don't like to fight, I just want the truth. Why would he lie to me about something so dumb? I'm a pretty laid back girl and I try to let things go for my own sanity. But when I tell him he's hurting me he seems to turn it around and fight with me, saying I'm going after him, I'm psycho, etc... but I wouldn't even have to question him in the first place if he was in fact being honest with me. I don't know what to do... I mean what's left for me to do when I have proof of the lie and he still denies it? I feel like he doesn't want to be bothered with me anymore if he's going to be so ridiculous and immature... I think I'd rather him just leave me then treat me this way. The way he turns the whole thing around as if I'm always wrong, saying that I make him feel like ****, has started to make me feel somewhat worthless. Am I not worth being told the truth to? He only started lying recently and I just can't seem to understand. Edited March 8, 2013 by ddlovexx Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted March 8, 2013 Share Posted March 8, 2013 I think your bf just doesn't want to deal with you/the relationship. There is no excuse for lying like that, it sounds like he is distancing himself from this relationship but is too wussy to man up and break things off, so he avoids you by lying instead. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dj572 Posted March 8, 2013 Share Posted March 8, 2013 I agree with veggirl. I don't want to be cruel but guys do not mature as fast as women most of the time. He is being very immature to be honest. If he is going to lie to you about little things you won't be able to trust him. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
slovek Posted March 8, 2013 Share Posted March 8, 2013 Hmm.. sorry this is happening. The lie's remind me of my ex, and how he thinks your being phycho. I somehow feel he not being honest is like a lack in interest and care. The fact he doesnt care how it hurt you is sad. My ex told me he doesnt want to marry me,but we ended up together for a further 7 months. Later he left me and chased someone else, and he told me he would never tell her he dont want to marry her. So, basically,a guy may say hurtful things to you and its because he may not love you as much. And my ex told me he stopped loving me and never loved me at all,was only "trying". We were together for 1 year. It explains why hes been cold to me. It is hard but when signs like that appears, it will only make you sad. I hope he starts being honest, but I really dont know. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted March 8, 2013 Share Posted March 8, 2013 I just have to ask to rule out one possibility (the reason I started lying to my ex) Have you blown up on him at all for a non issue that he was honest with you about? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ddlovexx Posted March 10, 2013 Author Share Posted March 10, 2013 Not that I can think of, and if I did I would apologize. Like I said, I'm a pretty laid back girl... I want my guy to enjoy all of his life, both the times with me and without me. I would like honesty at all times. I just think he has some growing up to do and hopefully the lying stops. He'll be good for some time and then just as my trust gets up, he'll do something to ruin it again. Link to post Share on other sites
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