Author fmfan08 Posted March 14, 2013 Author Share Posted March 14, 2013 So it turns out her being off with me lately is because she's scared to meet up with me after her friend suggesting I might "kidnap her and put her in a basement".. me - Wouldn't mind getting to know you more :-) x her - What do you want to know x me - Wondering when you are free at the weekend for me to call you? x her - Got a pretty busy weekend to be fair like i dunno if i'll have time! x me - It's alright I get the hint, i guess that offer of taking you out will have to go to somebody else x her - I just feel a bit weird about talking to someone on the phone and stuff that i've never met or seen, sorry if you think that is weird x me - was suggesting we could meet soon, but if that's what you really want... x her - Meeting a randomer though.. It's like, i dunno. x me - if it's because you like someone else then do that, at least you'll be happier. I'm alright meeting up but if you aren't then I can't force it.. You seem to have your mind made up x her - No its not that. But i have a very over protective best friend who seems to think you're going to kidnap me and keep me in your basement x me - Haha, sense of humour too! I wouldn't risk my future like that for the sake of a girl, but if its something you're not comfortable with, not much I can do.. I'd want you to be safe x Then she doesn't reply. Should I just leave it and move on? I can't force her to meet with me. Maybe IF she's eventually comfortable then she'll come into contact again. I'm feeling like I should stop contacting her now and only send her something if she sends something first, such as a reply.. She's obviously going to listen to her friend anyway.. Link to post Share on other sites
Cutiepie1976 Posted March 14, 2013 Share Posted March 14, 2013 Please take this as constructive feedback. You are incredibly tentative. That is not a good thing, especially in a guy looking to date. You will end up wasting a lot of time on dead ends and empty rabbit holes with women who have no real interest in actually dating you. Learn to be confident about asking for what you want. Rejection is part of life. All it means is there wasn't a match. It's not a statement about your personal worth. View rejection as getting you one step closer to the right person for you. It may seem counterintuitive, but it is better to be rejected outright then move on to someone who might actually date you, than it is to waste countless years on someone who never had any intention of ever dating you but distracted you sufficiently that you didn't consider others. Three years and she can't meet you under any circumstances because her "friend" thinks you might kidnap her and lock her up in your basement. Dude you're being catfished! Push to meet over coffee in a public place in her neck of the woods, understanding that she will most likely be a no-show with some lame last minute excuse why she couldn't. Personally, I think you should just move on and not even bother. Sadly you've wasted years on a dead-end ghost who wanted nothing more than a texting buddy. Next time focus on someone who is actually interested in dating and eager to meet relatively quickly. Link to post Share on other sites
Author fmfan08 Posted March 14, 2013 Author Share Posted March 14, 2013 (edited) Please take this as constructive feedback. You are incredibly tentative. That is not a good thing, especially in a guy looking to date. You will end up wasting a lot of time on dead ends and empty rabbit holes with women who have no real interest in actually dating you. Learn to be confident about asking for what you want. Rejection is part of life. All it means is there wasn't a match. It's not a statement about your personal worth. View rejection as getting you one step closer to the right person for you. It may seem counterintuitive, but it is better to be rejected outright then move on to someone who might actually date you, than it is to waste countless years on someone who never had any intention of ever dating you but distracted you sufficiently that you didn't consider others. Three years and she can't meet you under any circumstances because her "friend" thinks you might kidnap her and lock her up in your basement. Dude you're being catfished! Push to meet over coffee in a public place in her neck of the woods, understanding that she will most likely be a no-show with some lame last minute excuse why she couldn't. Personally, I think you should just move on and not even bother. Sadly you've wasted years on a dead-end ghost who wanted nothing more than a texting buddy. Next time focus on someone who is actually interested in dating and eager to meet relatively quickly. Good advice, but disregard the three years thing as it's when she first contacted me.. we were briefly talking then hadn't for a long time. I haven't wasted three years on her as I have been in a few relationships in that time, I only really count these last few months as getting more flirty, getting to know her, etc. It was only a month ago she suggested in meeting up, but you can understand the worry in meeting someone who could entirely be a different identity, especially if she has a best mate who is protective of her. You hear all sorts on the news. When you say tentative, reason I've been like that is due to the long distance and being put in a position I haven't been in before because the girl is going to be cautious, I am a "stranger" after all. A few hours later though she replied to my text saying "And i do want to see ya but want to make my friend happy and prove it's legit first x" I'm not sure what I should reply to that with.. You say "public place" and that's what I was going to reply with. My initial reply was going to mention meeting in a public place and that she can bring a mate with her. I think that's the perfect reply to give her to prove I am legit. ANY excuse I get after this will prove all she's said was to cover up her disinterest. Edited March 14, 2013 by fmfan08 Link to post Share on other sites
truth_seeker Posted March 15, 2013 Share Posted March 15, 2013 Learn to be confident about asking for what you want. Rejection is part of life. All it means is there wasn't a match. It's not a statement about your personal worth. View rejection as getting you one step closer to the right person for you. Good advice! Link to post Share on other sites
Author fmfan08 Posted March 15, 2013 Author Share Posted March 15, 2013 (edited) So I sent that text about half 2 in the afternoon today, it's half 10 and still no reply, although I did take a whole day to reply due to not having my phone on me for the rest of yesterday. Thinking if she doesn't reply whether to just give it a week and send a text about backing off and that she seems to know what she wants so will leave it (not sure if right thing to say) or just leave it altogether. Also, would it be childish to remove her off facebook some time in the near future? I need to clear some contacts anyway and she said herself it feels weird talking/calling to someone she hasn't met, so would there even be a point of having her on there? I'm thinking all sorts right now, other things on my plate and don't want to make a hash of things, if there's anything to make a hash of! She could be telling the truth about what her friend said, my suggestion was valid but want to give her enough time to reply, she could be busy, thinking of what she wants, i dunno. All I know is I lose respect for girls who cover the truth with excuses, I'm the sort of guy who'd rather be told how it is. Edited March 15, 2013 by fmfan08 Link to post Share on other sites
Cutiepie1976 Posted March 15, 2013 Share Posted March 15, 2013 A stranger you've texted on and off for three years but never met refuses to meet. What else is there to know? You were catfished. Move on instead of wasting more time hoping she might "come around"...eventually. Link to post Share on other sites
Author fmfan08 Posted March 15, 2013 Author Share Posted March 15, 2013 (edited) A stranger you've texted on and off for three years but never met refuses to meet. What else is there to know? You were catfished. Move on instead of wasting more time hoping she might "come around"...eventually. As i've said, it was three years ago she added me and we very briefly spoke. Was only these last few months we've properly spoken and suggested meeting up. Also, to rub more salt in the wound, I was unfollowing a few pages on my twitter and accidentally clicked hers :/ now she sent me a text saying "Unfollowing me, mature" even though I didn't intend that ughhh. EDIT: ok this conversation is getting odd now.. I tell her it was accidental and she replies "I doubt that very much" me - It wasn't intentional her - I'ma bust yo assss me - You wish her - Stop being grumpy with me or i'll have to.. me - ... 'accidentally' unfollow me! her - We going to keep arguing then yeah? me - Unless you have it in your heart to forgive me her - Sarcastic me - Shouldn't you be in bed? her - I'm older than you, so if i should be in bed you should definitely be asleep me - Not thinking of grassing me up are you? her - I won't tell if you don't I don't get it.. she ignores my text for half a day about meeting in a public place and bringing her friend but somehow contacts based on my idiocy on twitter. Why has she suddenly gone from being pee'd off to being a bit playful? I will never understand girls lol. Edited March 16, 2013 by fmfan08 Link to post Share on other sites
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