Feeling like my boyfriend's ex is better than me because she broke up with him?

[lemonlegs]

Hi everyone.

 

I want to start off by saying that I HATE even having these thoughts, it drives me crazy, but I just wanted to kind of get it off my chest.

 

My boyfriend and I have been dating for about a year. I have had curiosity with all of my boyfriends' ex girlfriends, maybe because my first boyfriend cheated on me with his ex for a long time. Prior to that, I don't remember caring much about exes.

 

Anyways, there's something about ex girlfriends that nags away at me. I tend to ask a lot of questions about them and try and get a sense of how they are as a person. Not obsessively, but I do ask questions until I know what I want to know..but I know all I want to know now so it's a topic that doesn't need to be addressed much anymore.

 

My boyfriend and his ex dated for four years, and though he has told me numerous times that they both knew it wasn't working, she was the one to ultimately end it, and he says that it's simply because he 'didn't want to be the one to give up on something he invested so much time into.' Fair enough. She started dating someone new like 2 months after.

 

Now, I know this is CRAZY becuase I LOVE my boyfriend, but I can't help but feel because SHE broke up with him, presumably for someone else, that that makes her better than me. UGH!!!!!!. I feel like because I'm dating someone she didn't want to date and CHOSE to break up with makes her superior to me. Wow, I know how psycho I probably sound. I know it's not a 'competition' to be better than his ex or whatever, but I think I finally found out why it bugs me so much, and the reason I mentioned above is it. It's hard to explain, really. I guess there's something superior about being with somebody that made the conscious choice to end their last relationship.

 

AGAIN, I want to state that I Love my boyfriend dearly and I don't think I'm better than him and I'm happy with him and that's all that should matter, but seriously, has ANYONE felt ANYTHING like this? Or am I crazy person?

 

I know how dumb and petty this sounds, so be easy on me. I just wanted to get it off my chest. These feelings are driving me crazy.

Edited March 8, 2013 by lemonlegs

[AmeliePoulain]

I don't think you're crazy. I often feel the same way. My bf's ex broke up with him after 4 years and met someone else. His last ex before me also broke up with him. He said, "The girls I date seem to want to upgrade" which made me feel bad for him but that he thought they assumed they could do better.

 

I think it's normal because then you might wonder if they still have feelings for them since it wasn't our boyfriends that lost interest. We can ask all we want, but we will never fully know how deep their loss is or if they even still care at all.

 

All you can care about is that you have him now and to work on that. I think that energy being spent on wondering about their past is detrimental and serves no purpose. It's just a curiosity that will never satisfy you. Their ex's aren't better than us, they just realized our bf's weren't compatible with them which is a gift to us. In fact, maybe their ex's are looking at photos of you and your bf thinking that you seem to be so much more cooler and compatible than they were

[lemonlegs]

I don't think you're crazy. I often feel the same way. My bf's ex broke up with him after 4 years and met someone else. His last ex before me also broke up with him. He said, "The girls I date seem to want to upgrade" which made me feel bad for him but that he thought they assumed they could do better.

 

I think it's normal because then you might wonder if they still have feelings for them since it wasn't our boyfriends that lost interest. We can ask all we want, but we will never fully know how deep their loss is or if they even still care at all.

 

All you can care about is that you have him now and to work on that. I think that energy being spent on wondering about their past is detrimental and serves no purpose. It's just a curiosity that will never satisfy you. Their ex's aren't better than us, they just realized our bf's weren't compatible with them which is a gift to us. In fact, maybe their ex's are looking at photos of you and your bf thinking that you seem to be so much more cooler and compatible than they were

 

Thank you! That made me feel better. I totally agree.... when we first started dating, I constantly thought, "there's no way he doesn't NOT want to be with her after 4 years, her being the one who ended it." But despite the fact that he's assured me she sort of 'beat him to the punch', I still thought about it. Not so much anymore the idea that he still would want to be with her, cause I've actually voiced that insecurity. But more the idea that she MUST be better than me because she chose to be with a different, presumably BETTER guy. Even though, I don't find him to be all that good looking... but I think he makes more money, and he has specifically said that's one thing he thinks that bothered her, was that him being a low-paid apprentice wasn't good enough. Ironically, her new boyfriend has the same job my ex had, who I broke up with. So, money's not everything (assuming that was an aspect she was after.)

 

It would be cool to think that she looks upon us favourably. I guess I kind of assume she's thinking "have fun with that" (sarcasm) She seems like a cool person overall (in fact, the more I know or see the stuff she posts online, the more I feel like we'd have in common) but I still have that nagging thought.

Edited March 8, 2013 by lemonlegs

[AmeliePoulain]

It's normal to compare yourselves with their ex's as they spent years with them. If you think that she's thinking "good luck with that", would you still think she's cooler than you if you heard one of her ex's say that about her? For a guy she dumped, there's another guy that's probably dumped her and thinking "have fun with this one..."

 

My bf said that the girl he dated for 4 years, if they had met now that they would not be together. I think he just wanted to make it work since it had gone on for so long.

 

I've also looked up his last ex which he referred to her as "she knows how to get what she wants" which made me think she's really independent and a strong woman and made me feel less secure. But then I think about how she left him and I wonder how thoughtless and arrogant of her to think someone so sweet wouldn't be good enough for her.

 

These girls are just people in our bf's past that have actually made them into who they are now. I'm glad my bf has had experiences with previous women because it's through them that he knows he wants me. Not her, but ME.

 

It's a daily effort to remind myself that I'm a great catch. The more you can convince yourself that you're cooler and a better catch, the more you'll start to believe it. Guys can pick up on insecurity and it's not attractive. Make him forget about her and remind him how wonderful you are everyday.

[lemonlegs]

It's normal to compare yourselves with their ex's as they spent years with them. If you think that she's thinking "good luck with that", would you still think she's cooler than you if you heard one of her ex's say that about her? For a guy she dumped, there's another guy that's probably dumped her and thinking "have fun with this one..."

 

My bf said that the girl he dated for 4 years, if they had met now that they would not be together. I think he just wanted to make it work since it had gone on for so long.

 

I've also looked up his last ex which he referred to her as "she knows how to get what she wants" which made me think she's really independent and a strong woman and made me feel less secure. But then I think about how she left him and I wonder how thoughtless and arrogant of her to think someone so sweet wouldn't be good enough for her.

 

These girls are just people in our bf's past that have actually made them into who they are now. I'm glad my bf has had experiences with previous women because it's through them that he knows he wants me. Not her, but ME.

 

It's a daily effort to remind myself that I'm a great catch. The more you can convince yourself that you're cooler and a better catch, the more you'll start to believe it. Guys can pick up on insecurity and it's not attractive. Make him forget about her and remind him how wonderful you are everyday.

 

I try my best! They were each other's first serious relationships, so it was invariable that they would break up...in all fairness to her, I think she was getting restless and it was just time for her to experience something new.

 

Thank you for your insight though, it really is much appreciated!

[sayyes19]

I try my best! They were each other's first serious relationships, so it was invariable that they would break up...in all fairness to her, I think she was getting restless and it was just time for her to experience something new.

 

Thank you for your insight though, it really is much appreciated!

 

Also more women initiate breakups than men. Most likely it's because we men get comfortable and stop putting the effort in. In most cases a woman has decided she is done with a guy for a long time before the actual breakup happens. Unfortunately us guys don't see it coming when we are young.

[Andy_K]

From the other end side of the situation, I've been the one to end all the relationships I've been in, and that doesn't necessarily mean I'm 'better' than whoever they date next, it just means that I may have different interests and a lower compatibility with certain personality traits.

 

Likewise I'm sure there are many things some guys would dump a girl for (past promiscuity for example) that I couldn't care less about. Doesn't make me less of a man than whoever dumped her before. Everyone values different things.

[Chi townD]

I don't get it. Do you feel like you got someone else's scraps? That you picked up someone else's consolation prize? If this is the case, you're right...that's stupid.

 

Look, you stated that you love your boyfriend. THEN LOVE HIM. Love him for the guy that he is, love him for the way that he treats you and love him for the things that he does for you and for the things he says to you. Forget about his past. There's a reason that the past stays behind us.

 

If you are truely happy and are truely in love with him then I think that you should send his Ex a thank you card.

[venusianx13]

Lol, I thought I was the only one with these kinds of off-kilter thoughts. My boyfriend and I have been together about 10 months now, and his ex of 3 years had broken up with him, even though he never saw a future with her. She had also "beaten him to the chase". She had gotten into doing drugs, and was likely cheating on him, as he found videos of her with other guys doing sexual things on her computer right after they broke up (they lived together). First of all, I'm disgusted that he was so invested in someone of such low character. Second of all, I wonder how in the hell you can live with someone you don't want a future with (he told me he never saw a future with her and never brought up marriage, as he has with me). He also told me she was lazy, did nothing for him, and had a lot of really bad habits (smoking, drugs, etc). It really just doesn't add up to me, as he is probably the most responsible and clean-cut person I know. And yes, to an extent, it makes me feel a little insecure that she was the one to break up with him. Strange thoughts here, I know...

[Kamille]

 

Now, I know this is CRAZY becuase I LOVE my boyfriend, but I can't help but feel because SHE broke up with him, presumably for someone else, that that makes her better than me.

 

She would be better than you... At what? Love? Relationships? Caring? Making your boyfriend laugh?

 

Exactly what are we comparing here?

[aed]

I am sorry,

 

but what I still don't understand. I have see women in different threads attack men when they have problems with the past of their gf. They say that guy is insecure and should grow up.

 

But at the same time girls feel that the ex is better because she broke up with him?

 

yea and men are jugdemental

[lemonlegs]

I don't get it. Do you feel like you got someone else's scraps? That you picked up someone else's consolation prize? If this is the case, you're right...that's stupid.

 

Look, you stated that you love your boyfriend. THEN LOVE HIM. Love him for the guy that he is, love him for the way that he treats you and love him for the things that he does for you and for the things he says to you. Forget about his past. There's a reason that the past stays behind us.

 

If you are truely happy and are truely in love with him then I think that you should send his Ex a thank you card.

 

When you put it like that it does sound stupid. I'm fairly certain she broke up with him to be with the guy she's with now. I guess I can't be hypocritical as I broke up with my last boyfriend and truthfully I do look at girls he's dated (even though he hasn't a serious gf since me) and think "that poor girl" but that's because my ex is extremely immature. But you're right, I'd never think of his new girlfriend as being less than me.

[lemonlegs]

Hey guys . Just wanted to add some more since these feelings are creeping up. I saw a picture she posted of her and her new (not really new anymore) boyfriend and I guess another thing that triggers these feelings are when I see her family saying things like "you guys are amazing together!" Or "such a wonderful, beautiful couple!" It makes me think why do they like him seemingly more than they did her ex (my boyfriend)? Makes me wonder.... (I actually don't know if that's the case and I know she met him at her parents' place of work so they would've known him previous which works to his advantage.)

 

Again, dumb thoughts , I know but apparently I can't help myself. I care more than my ex does !!!!

 

Ps: just so everyone knows, I'm really not crazy and don't voice these feelings outside of loveshack but I need to vent. I've always been competitive and perhaps care too much how others perceive me. Facebook and other social media does NOT help and the fact my boyfriend still has her on Facebook makes it extraordinarily easy to check things out when I'm bored or whatever; what started as harmless "creeping" to see what she looked like, etc has turned into this. Sigh.

 

The rational side of me somewhat acknowledges that they were each others first relationship and everyone probably knew it wouldn't last for various reasons, but still my psycho side persists.

 

My boyfriend tells me that our relationship is much better and therefore I am an upgrade technically, but I can't help but cite many of the dumpees here who acknowledge that they were left for someone better. I could rant for hours about my irrational feelings so ill stop here. Anyone with any more insight, feel free to chime in.

Edited March 12, 2013 by lemonlegs

[aed]

Hey guys . Just wanted to add some more since these feelings are creeping up. I saw a picture she posted of her and her new (not really new anymore) boyfriend and I guess another thing that triggers these feelings are when I see her family saying things like "you guys are amazing together!" Or "such a wonderful, beautiful couple!" It makes me think why do they like him seemingly more than they did her ex (my boyfriend)? Makes me wonder.... (I actually don't know if that's the case and I know she met him at her parents' place of work so they would've known him previous which works to his advantage.)

 

Again, dumb thoughts , I know but apparently I can't help myself. I care more than my ex does !!!!

 

Ps: just so everyone knows, I'm really not crazy and don't voice these feelings outside of loveshack but I need to vent. I've always been competitive and perhaps care too much how others perceive me. Facebook and other social media does NOT help and the fact my boyfriend still has her on Facebook makes it extraordinarily easy to check things out when I'm bored or whatever; what started as harmless "creeping" to see what she looked like, etc has turned into this. Sigh.

 

The rational side of me somewhat acknowledges that they were each others first relationship and everyone probably knew it wouldn't last for various reasons, but still my psycho side persists.

 

My boyfriend tells me that our relationship is much better and therefore I am an upgrade technically, but I can't help but cite many of the dumpees here who acknowledge that they were left for someone better. I could rant for hours about my irrational feelings so ill stop here. Anyone with any more insight, feel free to chime in.

 

You should consider it takes two to tango. When someone is dumped (sometimes years later) they can reflect on that relationship and see that not everything was so perfect as they felt, the day after the breakup.

 

I don;t know of any relationship where it is only one person's fault. Some people have the balls to break things up. I hang out with allot of people, especially when I was younger. We went to concerts, go out in bars and some I spoke every week. But most of them I didn;t develop a friendship with. Same can go with relationships not every person is right for you or you are right for them.

[Kamille]

Hey guys . Just wanted to add some more since these feelings are creeping up. I saw a picture she posted of her and her new (not really new anymore) boyfriend and I guess another thing that triggers these feelings are when I see her family saying things like "you guys are amazing together!" Or "such a wonderful, beautiful couple!" It makes me think why do they like him seemingly more than they did her ex (my boyfriend)? Makes me wonder.... (I actually don't know if that's the case and I know she met him at her parents' place of work so they would've known him previous which works to his advantage.)

 

Again, dumb thoughts , I know but apparently I can't help myself. I care more than my ex does !!!!

 

Ps: just so everyone knows, I'm really not crazy and don't voice these feelings outside of loveshack but I need to vent. I've always been competitive and perhaps care too much how others perceive me. Facebook and other social media does NOT help and the fact my boyfriend still has her on Facebook makes it extraordinarily easy to check things out when I'm bored or whatever; what started as harmless "creeping" to see what she looked like, etc has turned into this. Sigh.

 

The rational side of me somewhat acknowledges that they were each others first relationship and everyone probably knew it wouldn't last for various reasons, but still my psycho side persists.

 

My boyfriend tells me that our relationship is much better and therefore I am an upgrade technically, but I can't help but cite many of the dumpees here who acknowledge that they were left for someone better. I could rant for hours about my irrational feelings so ill stop here. Anyone with any more insight, feel free to chime in.

 

Wait... This is getting all tangled up. Last week you felt like she was better than you. Now it sounds like you're wondering if he's good enough for you just because someone else let him go. Your rational side seems to understand that compatibility is unique to everyone, but your irrational side is indeed very caught up in competetive comparisons.

 

So, you feel she might be better than you because she might have landed a better man than you? Is that what you're saying? Basically, your irrational side sees your boyfriend as a statement on your social status.

 

Is it that you want to feel like you're a power couple, the kind of couple everyone envies? Certainly, I want to feel proud of my partner, so I get it. But to me it sounds like you're grasping at straws if you have to go look at your boyfriend's ex's parents' comments on her new boyfriend's facebook pictures to establish a social hierachy. What a waste of energy. Why not, instead, support your boyfriend in his passions and hobbies?

 

And somehow, I suspect this is all boils down to your own sense of unworthyness. That's another thing I can understand. You're looking for outside proof that you are worthy and building a case against yourself. Again, sounds like energy wasted to me.

[lemonlegs]

Wait... This is getting all tangled up. Last week you felt like she was better than you. Now it sounds like you're wondering if he's good enough for you just because someone else let him go. Your rational side seems to understand that compatibility is unique to everyone, but your irrational side is indeed very caught up in competetive comparisons.

 

So, you feel she might be better than you because she might have landed a better man than you? Is that what you're saying? Basically, your irrational side sees your boyfriend as a statement on your social status.

 

Is it that you want to feel like you're a power couple, the kind of couple everyone envies? Certainly, I want to feel proud of my partner, so I get it. But to me it sounds like you're grasping at straws if you have to go look at your boyfriend's ex's parents' comments on her new boyfriend's facebook pictures to establish a social hierachy. What a waste of energy. Why not, instead, support your boyfriend in his passions and hobbies?

 

And somehow, I suspect this is all boils down to your own sense of unworthyness. That's another thing I can understand. You're looking for outside proof that you are worthy and building a case against yourself. Again, sounds like energy wasted to me.

 

I haven't looked that deep within myself, but perhaps you're right. As I mentioned above, I do care how others perceive me and obviously any relationship I'm in would be an extension of that. I really don't think I'm better than my boyfriend, even though what I'm saying may seem like it. I would never act on these thoughts, they;re just thoughts I entertain and wonder about. I truly feel lucky to have my boyfriend and he's the first guy I've dated where I can see it lasting for a really long time.

 

I honestly don't know why I care so much about it. She's just an average girl and truthfully I don't really see her boyfriend as anything better, but I guess it just makes me wonder why she seems him as better than her ex? In all honesty, her boyfriend could be a 4/10 lookwise and work at Burger King and I'd probably still be asking these questions. As I said, I don't find her boyfriend to be all that good looking and I'm pretty sure my boyfriend said he had the same job that my ex has. So, it's not like I couldn't get a guy like him. I know it sounds weird, but I don't think I'm insecure in the traditional sense.... I think I'm a pretty girl, I've never had a problem getting a boyfriend. My ex was in shambles when we broke up and I know for at least a few months after he would've willingly gotten back together with me indicating that I must have done something right (though I do regret how it ended and I'm sure by now he's realized that I did him wrong in some ways). I know I'm smart and friendly. I don't really see myself as worthless though it may be hard to believe after all this. I think that could actually be the problem; I like to be the undisputed 'better' (I know I'm better in regards to how I treat him) girlfriend.... and when the ex is even close to being on the same playing field in terms of looks/education/personality then I feel majorly threatened.

 

I am not jealous in the sense that I don't look at any girl on the street and feel jealous if she's gorgeous or whatever. All of my jealous energy is directed at her and obviously it's because it's my boyfriend's ex. I just really don't want to care anymore, it is exhausting.

Edited March 12, 2013 by lemonlegs

[iKING]

This is a clear-cut case of letting over-rationalization get in the way of relationship progress. We all have "one that got away", doesn't mean that one was any good.. It's just literally the one we weren't able to get. Possibly it lead to wonder, odds are it wouldn't have turned out any differently then any other relationship, but we didn't know, so it left an open dialogue in the brain.

 

Appreciate that you have a nice boyfriend and things are going okay, don't worry about who did what to who in his past.

[Kamille]

I honestly don't know why I care so much about it. She's just an average girl and truthfully I don't really see her boyfriend as anything better, but I guess it just makes me wonder why she seems him as better than her ex?

 

She probably doesn't see him as "better". She probably sees him as more compatible. With her. "Better" is to all-encompassing a word.

 

I think that could actually be the problem; I like to be the undisputed 'better' (I know I'm better in regards to how I treat him) girlfriend.... and when the ex is even close to being on the same playing field in terms of looks/education/personality then I feel majorly threatened.

 

 

Same here, "better" is too all-encompassing a term. I asked, earlier, in jest: Better at what? Because, really, the only areas of "better" that count are the ones that make you good together. The ways in which you are compatible. You don't need to, say, have a better SAT score, run more laps, have a higher income and/or be thinner than his ex to be a better match for him. The two of you just need to make each other happier than she and him did. And hey, it sounds like you already have that. So, by definition, you already are the better girlfriend. You're the one he chooses to be with.

[lemonlegs]

She probably doesn't see him as "better". She probably sees him as more compatible. With her. "Better" is to all-encompassing a word.

 

 

 

Same here, "better" is too all-encompassing a term. I asked, earlier, in jest: Better at what? Because, really, the only areas of "better" that count are the ones that make you good together. The ways in which you are compatible. You don't need to, say, have a better SAT score, run more laps, have a higher income and/or be thinner than his ex to be a better match for him. The two of you just need to make each other happier than she and him did. And hey, it sounds like you already have that. So, by definition, you already are the better girlfriend. You're the one he chooses to be with.

 

Thanks Kamille, your insight was really helpful.

 

You're right, I'm being superficial when I say "better" but unfortunately our society drills into our heads that being good looking, making more money, etc, make us better people (even though, again, she's not 'better' in those departments either). We do have a better relationship than they had, and perhaps her and her boyfriend have a better relationship than they had.

[venusianx13]

I hear you, Lemonlegs, and I am with you in regards to over-analyzing. It gets me into trouble sometimes, though not as much as it used to. I had the same misfortune of having a window into my boyfriend's ex's world through social media, too, and engaged in some creeping. A lot of thoughts went through my head, "Since she dumped him, is she somehow better than me?" I cared waaaay more than he did about his ex, and he even pointed this out to me. It was true. But no, the fact of the matter is that my boyfriend and I are far more compatible than he and his ex were... he said it was a relationship that he had to constantly put band-aids on, and the underlying incompatibilities were very deep and couldn't be fixed. And so, yeah, neither of them were happy, and she beat him to the chase. The reality is, I should thank her. (I won't, of course)

 

Make a conscious effort to not check out her goings-on on facebook or where ever else. It's important to remember that we're all just people, we're all flawed, and we all just want to be happy. In this way, we're all equal. You and your boyfriend are lucky to have found each other - focus on that. And be happy for others' happiness, too. When I started thinking in this way, it became easier to stop over-analyzing things that I can never truly know, anyway. It also made it easier for me to stop looking down on people or placing them on a pedestal. I'm not saying that the thoughts never enter my mind anymore, but if and when they do, they are easier to dismiss.

[KraftDinner]

I am sorry,

 

but what I still don't understand. I have see women in different threads attack men when they have problems with the past of their gf. They say that guy is insecure and should grow up.

 

But at the same time girls feel that the ex is better because she broke up with him?

 

yea and men are jugdemental

 

This is because it is some women saying the first thing, and different ones are saying the other.

 

We aren't all one big collective, like the Borg or something (Star Trek TNG reference).

 

You seem to be confused, as if you think we all share the same opinions.

[anna121]

I see something else going on here, evidenced by your admission of your need to be #1, A hard truth we all have to learn is that there is always someone "better" (or at least, who appears to be).

 

More educated.

 

More successful.

 

More beautiful.

 

More popular.

 

More powerful.

 

It's just the way it is.

 

Of course it's good to strive (I also have a perfectionist streak) but accepting that you are not always going to be on top is...much less exhausting.

 

Try to live in the moment, to enjoy your life.

 

And, please, stop creeping her. That is just so counter-productive.

[lemonlegs]

I hear you, Lemonlegs, and I am with you in regards to over-analyzing. It gets me into trouble sometimes, though not as much as it used to. I had the same misfortune of having a window into my boyfriend's ex's world through social media, too, and engaged in some creeping. A lot of thoughts went through my head, "Since she dumped him, is she somehow better than me?" I cared waaaay more than he did about his ex, and he even pointed this out to me. It was true. But no, the fact of the matter is that my boyfriend and I are far more compatible than he and his ex were... he said it was a relationship that he had to constantly put band-aids on, and the underlying incompatibilities were very deep and couldn't be fixed. And so, yeah, neither of them were happy, and she beat him to the chase. The reality is, I should thank her. (I won't, of course)

 

Make a conscious effort to not check out her goings-on on facebook or where ever else. It's important to remember that we're all just people, we're all flawed, and we all just want to be happy. In this way, we're all equal. You and your boyfriend are lucky to have found each other - focus on that. And be happy for others' happiness, too. When I started thinking in this way, it became easier to stop over-analyzing things that I can never truly know, anyway. It also made it easier for me to stop looking down on people or placing them on a pedestal. I'm not saying that the thoughts never enter my mind anymore, but if and when they do, they are easier to dismiss.

 

 

I'm certainly glad I'm not the only person that feels/felt this way. Thank you for your kind words... I try my best to be a positive person and some days I really am! Everything I've posted has been on a bad day where thinking too much gets the best of me!

 

 

I see something else going on here, evidenced by your admission of your need to be #1, A hard truth we all have to learn is that there is always someone "better" (or at least, who appears to be).

 

More educated.

 

More successful.

 

More beautiful.

 

More popular.

 

More powerful.

 

It's just the way it is.

 

Of course it's good to strive (I also have a perfectionist streak) but accepting that you are not always going to be on top is...much less exhausting.

 

Try to live in the moment, to enjoy your life.

 

And, please, stop creeping her. That is just so counter-productive.

 

I realize that, and as I said, I don't think about that in terms of any other person I know, just her. But I do acknowledge that we're good at different things...we go to school for entirely different things and I'm sure we excel at different things. She's a really pretty girl, but I think I'm a pretty girl too. I guess I just have to keep telling myself that over and over. (Sorry for focusing on such superficial things, but that's all I really know about her, short of what my boyfriend's told me... and as I said, I think I've got her beat in the 'good girlfriend department,' at least how she was with him, anyways)

 

And I knowwwww!!! I hate social media, I want to block her but then I don't because I have a feeling she's a bit of a facebook creeper herself (boyfriend hinted at that) and I don't want her to know I blocked her...

 

I try not to do it a lot, but when I'm bored online, my mind wanders and I just do it. But yes, I know, it definitely DOES NOT help my situation at all.

Edited March 13, 2013 by lemonlegs

[aed]

This is because it is some women saying the first thing, and different ones are saying the other.

 

We aren't all one big collective, like the Borg or something (Star Trek TNG reference).

 

You seem to be confused, as if you think we all share the same opinions.

 

I don't make that assumption.

 

But I know posters here in this thread that made comments in a guys thread when he had troubles with the past of his gf. that is why I asked?

 

But I do have the idea that all women say that not all women are the same

Edited March 13, 2013 by aed

[KraftDinner]

I don't make that assumption.

 

But I know posters here in this thread that made comments in a guys thread when he had troubles with the past of his gf. that is why I asked?

 

But I do have the idea that all women say that not all women are the same

 

Ah good!

 

 

I was being cheeky anyway.