Hope737 Posted March 8, 2013 Share Posted March 8, 2013 Lately I've been extremely down to the ending of an extremely intense and loving relationship. I honestly do not see how my life can be enjoyable without my ex in my life. I've been drinking heavily now for a couple of weeks. I'm now drinking at all times of the day. When I'm not working, I've been waking up at 7am and drinking a whole bottle of wine and then moving onto the beers. I'll then fall asleep until about 4pm and then start drinking again in the early evening. The other week I even checked into a hotel so I could just get drunk without my family suspecting my heavy drinking patterns. I downed a full bottle of wine within five minutes which I know is disgusting but it's my only escape. Is this alcohol dependency? I know I can go without alcohol as I'm not drinking tonight, although I was drinking this morning. I just don't know. Anyone got any advice? Link to post Share on other sites
WhatYouWantToHear Posted March 8, 2013 Share Posted March 8, 2013 I know I can go without alcohol as I'm not drinking tonight Prove it. Do just more than one night. Pick a timeframe (week, month, etc.) that you will not drink for and then do it. If you drink during that timeframe join AA or something, if successful feel free to drink like you please at the end of it. Other than that though--you probably hit about 5 check marks on the 'Am I an alcoholic' quiz. Link to post Share on other sites
Feelin Frisky Posted March 8, 2013 Share Posted March 8, 2013 You are deeply ensconced in the alcohol life right now. You don't get to say you can take it or leave it. You have to leave it to prove that. I have been there. It can swamp you and break your connection with the self you used to be before the madness. It claims lives, health, jobs, looks, relationships, exposes you to the under-belly of society. And it really takes a long time of sobriety to know in your heart that you're not still in a cycle. Sometimes cycles can be as few as a few outings a year--there's something inside that just goes off after a few months or weeks or whatever that says it's time to get loaded again. It feels absolutely great to be out of the cycle and have no pull just come and take you back. Alcohol is so insidious--it appeals to the senses of taste and smell in addition to getting you high so it can come at you through seemingly innocent ways. But if you've gone on a bender like you're talking about, you've fallen into the sick life and need to distance yourself from it. Do what you have to, it's worth it. It's no way to live and a cruddy way to die. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hope737 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Share Posted April 3, 2013 I felt like I was making some progress guys but I guess not. I've had a drink every single night for the last few months now. I'm not necessarily getting drunk every night but I always have at least four cans of beer. Now I'm back to drinking through the day. My work routine means I work 5 days then have 4 days off. Today is my second day off, it's now 15:45 where I live and I've been drinking since 10am this morning. It's my only escape and I need help. I'm currently receiving counselling from a professional but she's not available this week due to a busy schedule. I can't see her until next week. The counselling does help a little, but as soon as I leave, within a few hours, I'm back to the same, unhealthy frame of mind. I struggle to go a single day without feeling that buzz from alcohol. I know my ex is currently living a very healthy lifestyle, going to the gym, swimming etc. Why can't I do that? Why do I have to turn to drink instead? Maybe it's time to join AA? It seems like such a drastic step. Link to post Share on other sites
lastresort Posted April 8, 2013 Share Posted April 8, 2013 Put your mind to it. I've been sober since my ex broke up with me. I never drank like your talking but you do it. I've been 23 days. I do smoke a little weed to fall asleep though. Keep us updated were here to help. Link to post Share on other sites
ForeverHopeful1 Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 Hey Hun... I am sorry for what youre going through. AA may really help. What would be the harm in just going to one AA meeting? I know you say it seems drastic, but I think continuing on this path, with this pain youre feeling, is drastic? It is insanity to continue down this path. No one could keep it up long term. I mean, eventually, it could turn into a full blown addiction where you are drinking before work, etc. It could get more ugly. I mean, how long can you do THIS for? You dont have to do it any longer. Just try going to one meeting. Do yourself that favour. You deserve it. My father is an alcoholic who has been in recovery for 13 years. I always told him, "you dont have a problem with alcohol. You have a problem with sobriety." Right now, youre having a hard time dealing with life being sober. I, again, am very sorry youre in so much pain you need to cover it this way. I am sad reading about what youre going through. I am proud of you for seeking counselling and I sure hope your next session is even more helpful than the last. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
BetheButterfly Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 I felt like I was making some progress guys but I guess not. I've had a drink every single night for the last few months now. I'm not necessarily getting drunk every night but I always have at least four cans of beer. Now I'm back to drinking through the day. My work routine means I work 5 days then have 4 days off. Today is my second day off, it's now 15:45 where I live and I've been drinking since 10am this morning. It's my only escape and I need help. I'm currently receiving counselling from a professional but she's not available this week due to a busy schedule. I can't see her until next week. The counselling does help a little, but as soon as I leave, within a few hours, I'm back to the same, unhealthy frame of mind. I struggle to go a single day without feeling that buzz from alcohol. I know my ex is currently living a very healthy lifestyle, going to the gym, swimming etc. Why can't I do that? Why do I have to turn to drink instead? Maybe it's time to join AA? It seems like such a drastic step. Please please please go to AA? It is so wonderful to live a healthy lifestyle and go to the gym, swim, and DO fun things instead of drowning oneself in alcohol! My family knows just how harmful being an alcoholic is and has suffered due to alcohol. My great-grandfather was an alcoholic and physically abused his wife and kids. My Papaw (grandfather- my Mom's Dad) worked hard in factories since he was 12 in order to provide for his family, since his Dad would spend the money he earned in the bars. My Grandpa (Dad's Dad) experienced his 2 older brothers dying from being hit when a drunk driver crashed into them. Alcohol brought a lot of sadness to both sides of my family, in different ways. It's hard to break free from addiction. I'm addicted to coffee. It's hard for me to only have 1 cup a day. However, it's important to take care of one's body and I really hope that you go to AA and break free from the trap of being enslaved to alcohol!!! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hope737 Posted April 14, 2013 Author Share Posted April 14, 2013 Hey guys. Thanks a lot for your words and advice. It means a lot, it really does. This forum and the people who post on here have been a huge help over the past few months. Back to my alcohol problem. I've still been drinking most nights. Even when the taste of more alcohol starts to make me feel sick, I still force myself to drink, just to get drunk. It seems like I'll do whatever it takes. But like you say ForeverHopeful1, it is insanity to keep going down this path. If my family knew what I was doing I'm sure they'd be extremely worried and upset. It has to stop here. Before my health suffers further and before I risk losing my job. My sleeping pattern is a mess, I'm constantly tired these days because of the drink. Going to bed at midnight, then waking up at 5am and then can't get back to sleep. It's doing me in. Last night I vowed that the beer I had in my hand would be the last one for a while. I'll never give up alcohol but I sure as hell want to cut down. It's as if I hit a brick wall last night and I've finally had enough of constantly being in a non-sober state. I feel a mess both on the inside and the outside. Link to post Share on other sites
Phoebe Posted April 15, 2013 Share Posted April 15, 2013 Hope737 I'd like to recommend an additional website to you The Alcoholism and Addictions Help Forums- by SoberRecovery.com. It has helped me a lot. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Fugu Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 That's great if you're truly off the sauce, but the thing you have to remember about substance abuse is that in a lot of cases - maybe most cases - substances are a form of escape from deeper psychological issues. I'll try to spare you the lecture, but it must be said that the pattern of behavior you're establishing here is extremely dangerous. I would know - I grew up with alcoholism, so I know what it's about. I would never say don't drink - I love to drink beers at night myself. But I have my boundaries and I don't step outside of them. Drinking to get away from an emotional issue is precisely how alcoholism begins. You can control it for a while, but there will come a point at which there's no going back. Alcohol takes control of your body and your mind, and you literally develop a chemical dependence on it, which is brutally hard to shake off. I would not spend more time on this forum asking for advice. Instead, I'd start Googling for intervention centers in your area. If you can't afford advice, contact your local Al-Anon and see if they can recommend some programs for you that will get you to a detox facility (if that's required). Link to post Share on other sites
peppermintpaddy Posted May 11, 2013 Share Posted May 11, 2013 Lately I've been extremely down to the ending of an extremely intense and loving relationship. I honestly do not see how my life can be enjoyable without my ex in my life. I've been drinking heavily now for a couple of weeks. I'm now drinking at all times of the day. When I'm not working, I've been waking up at 7am and drinking a whole bottle of wine and then moving onto the beers. I'll then fall asleep until about 4pm and then start drinking again in the early evening. The other week I even checked into a hotel so I could just get drunk without my family suspecting my heavy drinking patterns. I downed a full bottle of wine within five minutes which I know is disgusting but it's my only escape. Is this alcohol dependency? I know I can go without alcohol as I'm not drinking tonight, although I was drinking this morning. I just don't know. Anyone got any advice? well,it sure aint social drinking.....you have all the symptoms of an alcoholic,and as they say,if it walks like a duck,talks like a duck.....etc. Nobody wants to admit to being an alcoholic,and youre gonna have to diagnose yourself.....go along to an AA meeting and see if you can identify with the people there,I know I did ,and ive been sober since ( a long time now)....you'll get a lot better knowledge of your problem than you will here on a relationship forum....just saying. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted May 11, 2013 Share Posted May 11, 2013 The top two symptoms of a problem drinker are anxiety and depression. Go to AA - ask for a Big Book... Ask for a sponsor. Do the step work. It changed my life! ALL for the better! If I can do this - you can too! I drank a gallon of vodka every day for the last two years of my drinking life - that was a deep, dark pit I was sucked into. Things can change IF you take ACTION and become willing to be honest. Ask for help - lots of folks will be happy to help you! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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