Keeping a Level Head

[a-golden-bird]

So I'm someone who is usually a serial monogamist. I'm trying to date a really great guy right now. It's been going on for about a month. He knew before we started dating that I was planning a move to NY in April.

 

When we're together everything's great. We have fun. He's attractive. He fits the bill. If I wasn't leaving I'd probably be hoping for a relationship with this guy.

 

But when we're apart, I analyze EVERYTHING. I go through text messages. I count the hours since I've heard from him (we text a lot most days). I start thinking maybe he met someone else. It turns into this horrible spiral of negativity and I know I'm being absolutely ridiculous and irrational.

 

Does anyone have any advice for dealing with this? I've tried distractions but it still bubbles up to the surface. Sometimes I can get away with reminding myself that one guy you're dating for a month isn't worth all this stress and time wasted thinking about.

 

Thanks!

[meeji]

Therapy? it seems like you have strong insecurities. I'm not sure if there is anything you can do about it to calm yourself.

[todreaminblue]

The only thing you can do with negative thought is turn it around, you have to do something positive that you love to take the negativity away, dwelling on anything and over analysing yep do it all the time, i try to do something else, therapy as another poster suggested will give you strategies,its good if you can step back fro a while, if you want to worry you can do it later, so pack it up put it away in the back of your mind and concentrate on a project, draw, write, walk, dance do something else, because if you concentrate on the negative it isnt going to help you......

 

i am schizo affective and with most schizophrenic type disorders there is an element of ocd.......obsessive and intrusive thought.....my strategy i have honed down to an art, is big dj style headphones with music.......my favorite music to chase the thoughts away....insecurities negative vibes paranoia...it works, because when music is in my ears i cant concentrate on anything but the music..no voices or intrusive thought...i have tried and it doesnt last long.....then if music doesnt help which normally it always does, i will do repetitive body movements...yeah can look a bit crazy, but flicking my wrist, helps i turn it into the wrist dougie.....smilin...ok yes i am a fruit....but these strategies help m e.....try the music...maybe not the wrist dougie yet......that takes talent.....lol....ahem...or true fruit status..i also pray and whiel i am praying the voices disappear so yes these things help me......deb.....

[a-golden-bird]

Thanks for the responses guys.

 

I feel like it's good I've acknowledged it but I don't necessarily have the strategies (like you said todreaminblue) to work through it. I went to therapy a few years ago and came to a lot of realizations and accepted a lot of things about myself. My anxieties being one of them. But I've yet to find a proper outlet for it.

 

At the moment when I don't hear from him I sort of resign myself to it being over and that I'll be OK eventually. And then he usually ends up messaging me and we're back where I started! Guess that's where its important to get at the root of the problem, not just when it happens.