Jedi Posted March 9, 2013 Share Posted March 9, 2013 How come parents go crazy when their daughter gets a boyfriend, but they encourage their son to get a girlfriend? They're like " go on son!" but for the girl they go nuts. Why is this the case? And do the parents realise the boy who they're encouraging is dating a girl whos a daughter of a mother and father? ( Not my parents that much, just for parents all round) Link to post Share on other sites
tbf Posted March 9, 2013 Share Posted March 9, 2013 Traditional double standards. Girls must be virgins and boys, studs. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Feelin Frisky Posted March 9, 2013 Share Posted March 9, 2013 I don't know what my sisters were told, but my dad did tell me to lay some lumber, son. Racist as it sounds dad also told me to fck "colored gals" all you want, just don't bring them home to your mother. Dear old dad, RIP. I took his advice all too often. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Nyla Posted March 10, 2013 Share Posted March 10, 2013 I don't know what my sisters were told, but my dad did tell me to lay some lumber, son. Racist as it sounds dad also told me to fck "colored gals" all you want, just don't bring them home to your mother. Dear old dad, RIP. I took his advice all too often. As a black woman who loves white men, your dad's statement made me laugh. It is true that most white guys are not interested in a black woman for a serious relationship or marriage. We are forbidden fruit. My parents were sexist, so I was labelled as promiscuous even though I wasn't doing anything my brothers were not. It was okay for my brothers to date and sleep around, but I was supposed to only sleep with men my parents approved of. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted March 10, 2013 Share Posted March 10, 2013 Parents are just weird. Mine went crazy if they caught the slightest whiff of boys all the way up til college, and as soon as I graduated there was a 180 degrees shift and they started putting on the pressure to find a husband. Not just a boyfriend, a husband. Don't think they've ever really heard of 'dating around'. Link to post Share on other sites
aed Posted March 10, 2013 Share Posted March 10, 2013 and the funniest thing is: when we have childeren we are going to do the same thing.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jedi Posted March 11, 2013 Author Share Posted March 11, 2013 and the funniest thing is: when we have childeren we are going to do the same thing.... Haha, too true. Link to post Share on other sites
Feelin Frisky Posted March 11, 2013 Share Posted March 11, 2013 As a black woman who loves white men, your dad's statement made me laugh. It is true that most white guys are not interested in a black woman for a serious relationship or marriage. We are forbidden fruit. My parents were sexist, so I was labelled as promiscuous even though I wasn't doing anything my brothers were not. It was okay for my brothers to date and sleep around, but I was supposed to only sleep with men my parents approved of. My longest LTR was WM (me) and BF (her) and we lived together for 5 years. So it wasn't like I took dad's advice verbatim. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted March 11, 2013 Share Posted March 11, 2013 Parents are just weird. Mine went crazy if they caught the slightest whiff of boys all the way up til college, and as soon as I graduated there was a 180 degrees shift and they started putting on the pressure to find a husband. Not just a boyfriend, a husband. Don't think they've ever really heard of 'dating around'. Ditto here. Guys were so afraid of my Dad it was pathetic. Link to post Share on other sites
dj572 Posted March 11, 2013 Share Posted March 11, 2013 Short answer right or not the biggest reason is a boy can't get pregnant. I know several girls that got pregnant in high school and their parents had to raise the baby. I know one family that all 3 girls got pregnant one after the other and the grandparents had to help raise the kids. I'm not saying it's right but I bet if you asked and got an honest answer that would be the biggest reason. A man I work with had to come out of retirement to provide for his 3 grandkids that his daughter was unwilling to raise herself. I work with mostly men and the ones with daughters will admit that is one of the biggest fears with a girl. Sad but true. Link to post Share on other sites
Esoteric Elf Posted March 11, 2013 Share Posted March 11, 2013 Traditional double standards. Girls must be virgins and boys, studs. What is nice () is that reality is superseding theory in this case. More boys seem to be virgins than girls by a more sexually mature age, in general. Link to post Share on other sites
Nyla Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 My longest LTR was WM (me) and BF (her) and we lived together for 5 years. So it wasn't like I took dad's advice verbatim. Yeah, you come across as too smart for the ignorance your dad was passing down to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted March 14, 2013 Share Posted March 14, 2013 Short answer right or not the biggest reason is a boy can't get pregnant. I know several girls that got pregnant in high school and their parents had to raise the baby. I know one family that all 3 girls got pregnant one after the other and the grandparents had to help raise the kids. I'm not saying it's right but I bet if you asked and got an honest answer that would be the biggest reason. A man I work with had to come out of retirement to provide for his 3 grandkids that his daughter was unwilling to raise herself. I work with mostly men and the ones with daughters will admit that is one of the biggest fears with a girl. Sad but true. As I said in another thread, most parents seem to be happy to do this these days, even if they have to work longer and pay for it. From what I've seen and experienced. I guess because young girls aren't taken away someplace, so they can hide a girls pregnancy anymore. And then have the girls mother to be the "baby's mother". Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted March 14, 2013 Share Posted March 14, 2013 I don't know what my sisters were told, but my dad did tell me to lay some lumber, son. Racist as it sounds dad also told me to fck "colored gals" all you want, just don't bring them home to your mother. Dear old dad, RIP. I took his advice all too often. But how would he have reacted if you got a "colored girl" pregnant? Link to post Share on other sites
Feelin Frisky Posted March 14, 2013 Share Posted March 14, 2013 But how would he have reacted if you got a "colored girl" pregnant? We had to face a few close calls so I had to think about it. I would have not opted for abortion although I'm pro-choice. My only feeling about race and babies is that I would love mixed race daughters with all my heart but there's something in me that wants a son to be a new me and not at all torn between two identities (to say nothing of going full hip hop on me). Definitely not to imply I would not raise and love my son if he were half his mom who I loved very much at the time. Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted March 14, 2013 Share Posted March 14, 2013 We had to face a few close calls so I had to think about it. I would have not opted for abortion although I'm pro-choice. My only feeling about race and babies is that I would love mixed race daughters with all my heart but there's something in me that wants a son to be a new me and not at all torn between two identities (to say nothing of going full hip hop on me). Definitely not to imply I would not raise and love my son if he were half his mom who I loved very much at the time. Isn't it funny because it Almost always people want a child that's the same gender as them. Why is this?! Link to post Share on other sites
Feelin Frisky Posted March 14, 2013 Share Posted March 14, 2013 Isn't it funny because it Almost always people want a child that's the same gender as them. Why is this?! That's an easy one. It's the closest thing to immortality we can count on. Souls and heaven are just beliefs. Having a child that resembles you and carries your genes means something of you lives on. And if something lives on it's not unusual to want it to be you having another shot at mattering. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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