blahblah13 Posted March 10, 2013 Share Posted March 10, 2013 My gf and I have been dating for about 10 months (were close friends and FWB's for several months before we started dating). We are also both decently young (she's 23, I'm 25) so we like to go hit our weekend drinking spot and have a good time. Where this story gets frustrating is that the guy she "saw" before me also drinks there. I fully trust her, we did have issues with him texting her but she always informed me and has been very open about the situation. She stays within our boundaries and will only say "Hi" or give him a head nod, but I constantly see him look and stare at her. This bothers me to no end. I honestly feel like this guy doesn't respect our relationship and is trying to get a rise out of me. I'm a pretty big guy 6'2 250 former college football player, so I KNOOOOW I could break this guy in 2. But my gf and I feel like this is what he wants, she does a good job of talking to me when she sees me get pissed off and calms me down. My question is what do I do with this guy? If I confront him all he will do is talk **** and piss me off more. If I hit him (which I WANT TO) I could lose my job (I'm an elementary teacher). Any suggestions would be appreciated!! Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted March 11, 2013 Share Posted March 11, 2013 He is her ex and she still text him? What is wrong with this picture? If the roles were reversed I doubt that she would be so happy. The problem is your girlfriend. You don't keep texting an old boyfriend while you are in a relationship with another guy. Why is this so hard to understand? Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author blahblah13 Posted March 11, 2013 Author Share Posted March 11, 2013 He has txt her in the past, she did not respond and showed me the messages. Link to post Share on other sites
nonameforme Posted March 11, 2013 Share Posted March 11, 2013 If you know he is doing these things to get a rise out of you, why not try the opposite reaction? Ignore him completely or even more simple, go to a different bar? He may want to provoke a violent reaction out of you and then use that against you (either by involving the police or texting your girlfriend about how you can't control your temper). If you trust your girlfriend, then I don't really see what the problem is other than some territorial pissing match. Just leave your ego out of it and leave it alone. He's no threat to you or your girlfriend's relationship, and if you don't want to risk losing your job, then don't let allow him the power of pushing your buttons Be the bigger man. That will piss him off even more. Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted March 11, 2013 Share Posted March 11, 2013 Oh she did not respond and showed you the message. This is great. I agree just ignore him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted March 11, 2013 Share Posted March 11, 2013 Oh she did not respond and showed you the message. This is great. I agree just ignore him. The problem is not the GF. The problem is you. You need to resign your teaching job because it is clear that you are not the sharpest tool in the shed. Most likely the dullest, rusty, and bent. You need to remove the ex from your lives for ever. Your knuckle dragging approach to problem solving such as fitting the ex for cement shoes, or have him sleeping with the fishes is not the solution. You need to go where the ex does not go. His presence bothers you then you stay away from him. I can not even imagining you teaching grade school kids 2 + 2. Link to post Share on other sites
ChessPieceFace Posted March 11, 2013 Share Posted March 11, 2013 ... go drink somewhere else?? ... Or is your favorite drinking spot more important than your relationship, job and freedom? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Dragonfruit Posted March 11, 2013 Share Posted March 11, 2013 (edited) I'm wondering what makes you think he's taunting you. From what I read, I kind of felt sorry for the guy. She's got a big ex-football player who could break him in half. He sits there alone, gets a little less careful with how he handles himself after a few beers, watches her with you and wants to cry. He lost. You won. Yes? Edited March 11, 2013 by Dragonfruit 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GSB81 Posted March 11, 2013 Share Posted March 11, 2013 For your own safety and ego, please don't assume that because you are a big dude that you can destroy smaller guys. I'm not picking at you or trying to insult you. I'm about your size and I've got buddies who are well under 200lbs and know muay thai and Brazilian jujitsu. I've sparred with them before for ****s and giggles and have been left laying on the matt. It's a humbling experience. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted March 11, 2013 Share Posted March 11, 2013 My question is what do I do with this guy? If I confront him all he will do is talk **** and piss me off more. If I hit him (which I WANT TO) I could lose my job (I'm an elementary teacher). Any suggestions would be appreciated!! You do nothing. As long as he isn't coming on to your gf or coming up to her all the time, its a free country and he can look if he likes. It happens, just let it go. You want to hit the guy for looking at her? Really?? I know he has texted her. And if he is and your gf has nipped it, then you don't hit him or confront him for "looking". Link to post Share on other sites
pbjbear Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 He is her ex and she still text him? What is wrong with this picture? If the roles were reversed I doubt that she would be so happy. The problem is your girlfriend. You don't keep texting an old boyfriend while you are in a relationship with another guy. Why is this so hard to understand? Good luck. Actually there are multiple threads on this forum posing the exact situation with the sexes swapped, and women are called insecure and clingy and told to get over it. Link to post Share on other sites
JennaMax Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 former college football player? I didn;t know they taught players how break someone in 2 Anyways, what i'd say is that the problem isn't the other guy. It sounds as if she enjoys being fought over by guys...I wouldn't bother with the guy unless he forces his way on her, though i doubt it because she likes the attention. Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted March 16, 2013 Share Posted March 16, 2013 My gf and I have been dating for about 10 months (were close friends and FWB's for several months before we started dating). We are also both decently young (she's 23, I'm 25) so we like to go hit our weekend drinking spot and have a good time. Where this story gets frustrating is that the guy she "saw" before me also drinks there. I fully trust her, we did have issues with him texting her but she always informed me and has been very open about the situation. She stays within our boundaries and will only say "Hi" or give him a head nod, but I constantly see him look and stare at her. This bothers me to no end. I honestly feel like this guy doesn't respect our relationship and is trying to get a rise out of me. I'm a pretty big guy 6'2 250 former college football player, so I KNOOOOW I could break this guy in 2. But my gf and I feel like this is what he wants, she does a good job of talking to me when she sees me get pissed off and calms me down. My question is what do I do with this guy? If I confront him all he will do is talk **** and piss me off more. If I hit him (which I WANT TO) I could lose my job (I'm an elementary teacher). Any suggestions would be appreciated!! You grow the hell up. Thats what you do. He isnt saying anything to either of you. So keep on about your business like a mature adult. Can you handle that? Like really...you wanna fight a guy for looking at a chick he used to have a thing with? Sounds like you trying to prove how masculine you are because he got to her before you did. Find a new place to hang out with her if he bothers you so much. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted March 16, 2013 Share Posted March 16, 2013 If I was your GF, I'd tell you to quit acting like an immature jerk and grow the hell up. Elementary teacher? I'm sure the parents would be impressed with your attitude..... Link to post Share on other sites
MichiganMan222 Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 Maybe I'm weird, but when other men stare, leer, gawk, etc. at my gorgeous wife (especially ex's!!!!), it makes me feel good, not pissed off. I would absolutely love running into one of her ex's at a bar. She would definitely get extra spoiled that night. Link to post Share on other sites
GMG90 Posted March 23, 2013 Share Posted March 23, 2013 I can understand it's a little awkward, but realize that she appears to be an honest woman who loves you. I agree with everyone else about handling the situation differently. That would be a straightforward approach with a more permanent fix. However, you are having a difficult time adjusting to him just being there. So, I would recommend that you just avoid him by finding another bar ... though a psychologist would not be happy with the avoid method. Link to post Share on other sites
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