Me & my dream girl...and my best guy friend

[OC surfer]

Hey Everybody! I am in need of some serious advice. So...here it goes. I have a female friend that I have known for almost 8 years. Since starting college, we have become really close. We hang out together and basically see eachother every day. I have noticed an increase in flirting between us over the past few months and am unsure how to interpret it. You see...I have had a crush on this girl since the day we met. So, this increased attention from her has made me fall for her even more.

 

Well...I was under the impression that we both were somewhat interested in a possible relationship. However, something has gone terribly wrong and has truly left me in a bad dilemma. This girl and I hung out with a group of my close friends one night. Throughout the night I noticed my very best guy friend ( who is also my cousin) flirting with "my girl". And, in return, she was acting the same way towards him. So...weeks have passed and the flirting has continued between them. I have actually confronted both of them ( seperatly) about the situation and each of them has basically claimed that I am "crazy" and that they have no idea what I am talking about. Actually...last night I went to the movies with a group of friends ( including both of these individuals) and they were cuddling right in front of me. I decided that I needed to let this girl know that I had feelings for her. But...it was pretty much brushed off and not really talked about. She didn't really say anything at all...not for or against it. We continue to see eachother all the time and truly enjoy eachother's company.

 

So...here is my problem. I am totally confused. I am not sure if I should let them be and move on, or confront this girl and see what is going on!?! My best guy friend knew that I was practically in love with this girl since the day I met her...I am truly hurt by how he is acting. I am so totally into this girl and this entire situation is tearing me apart for months. But, at the same time...I don't want to subject myself to the pain of seeing my best friend walk away with the girl of my dreams. If anyone could offer advise...or if you have been in a similar situation...please feel free to help me out! ( sorry this is so long)

[Vie]

I think you need to have a talk with your best friend.. just to make sure if he's also interested in her like you do. I agree though that he should consider your feelings too, especially he knows how you feel about this girl.

 

 

Then, you should confess your feelings to the girl.. tell her that you are falling in love with her and see how she responds.. If it turns out to be true, that she also has feelings for him.. then I think you should let her go. It hurts, I know.. but Im sure all you want is for her to be happy.

 

 

Good luck.

[bluetuesday]

What a sucky situation OC. I'm sorry.

 

You definitely need to confront this girl because it seems clear there is something going on - or there very soon will be - with her and your cuz.

 

If there has been flirting between you and her, it's possible she wanted something more than friends at that time. Maybe that time has passed and she's now met someone she likes more, or maybe she's doing all this to make you jealous and force you to show your hand.

 

Whatever, it's vile to be in the situation where a girl you like and your best mate are acting this way, while knowing how you feel. What happened to loyalty and common decency? OK, I'm a Brit - these things obsess me. But come on - the way people who are supposed to be on our side sometimes act astonishes me.

 

Lay it on the line, tell her how you feel and if she continues playing you like this you have to walk away my friend. Not all girls play games. Some of us are even pretty nice.

 

With your cuz it's different because that's family and you need to tread carefully. If he really is that good a friend a word with him about how much this is hurting you should be enough to stop it. Maybe that's way too simple but if he really cares more about a girl he's just met than you, it tells you a lot about him, right?

 

I hope this works out for you.