calgary Posted March 10, 2013 Share Posted March 10, 2013 and it hurts. i'm trying to get over her, she just flat out keeps hurting me.. I didn't know what the saying ' makes my blood boil' meant until she started flirting with him.. I rarely get angry.. he swears he would never do that to me, but I seriously doubt he would be loyal to me. it always says on facebook that he's liked her status or photos.. I have deleted her but it tells me anyway. I should probably block her next. but that's not the point here. I'm just ridiculously angry that she would do this. it's really bothering me and making it a lot harder. anybody had a similar situation ? Link to post Share on other sites
Lillygoose Posted March 10, 2013 Share Posted March 10, 2013 I have, Shall we say an old best friend called Vicky. When me and nick got together vicky and me where best friends but soon drifted apart after time. After the BU, me and my partner where still living together and I noticed he would text her alot and she would text him. Yet, I thought this was V.strange! I confronted her about it, and she said oh I am just being there for him, didnt even once send me a text asking how I was.!! Why do they always side with the dumper not the dumpee! I had many old friends '' literally throw'' themselves at him after we spilt up. My attitude is slowly becoming more..If you want my seconds go for it... haha You have to look at the positives not the negatives! Think of all the really irritating things about your ex. And think if they got together she would have to deal with that feel bad for her/him Like my ex hadnt a romantic bone in his body, was abit too vain for my liking and was obsessed with how he looked. Dont be bitter, but think how they have to deal with that. Not you. you;'re free Link to post Share on other sites
Author calgary Posted March 12, 2013 Author Share Posted March 12, 2013 it's absolutely awful isn't it ? worst feeling in the world.. I feel betrayed on both parts. It's really horrible of both of them. He assured me he wouldn't but it keeps popping up on facebook that he likes everything she posts and whenever he posts a status it says she likes it... I know I should block her.. but I want to know if I should ever talk to him. I feel like he's going to do this to me . Link to post Share on other sites
denxnis Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 Aren't you glad she is out of your life? Some people are like tumors, they just love spreading all over the place. The only way to get rid of a tumor is to cut it out completely; just a few days ago I threw away some stuff the ex had bought for me and I can honestly say the more of her I remove from my life the better I feel. As far as your friend goes he doesn't seem like such a great friend if he is keeping in contact with your ex. Link to post Share on other sites
Author calgary Posted March 12, 2013 Author Share Posted March 12, 2013 I suppose at the moment, all I know about Is facebook so I can't really say anything or i'll look pathetic.. but he seems to like everything on her wall, even things other people tag her in. She's like a couple of his status' and pictures too. Like I said I went out this weekend and he was asking me if she was out and stuff. i'm just really upset about it. My ex really is acting horrible to me lately. I guess feeling sorry for myself gets me nowhere but this is just flat out cruel of her. Link to post Share on other sites
Minneloa Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 You are torturing yourself here. What is keeping you from blocking your ex on Facebook? Link to post Share on other sites
Author calgary Posted March 12, 2013 Author Share Posted March 12, 2013 You are torturing yourself here. What is keeping you from blocking your ex on Facebook? I want to know if my friend is worth talking too anymore. that's the only reason right now. maybe I should block him too but that'd only encourage him to pursue it further. I don't want to be having a beer with a guy knowing he's going back with my ex. Link to post Share on other sites
Minneloa Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 I don't think you can correctly infer what their connection is through Facebook. Right now, FB seems like it is just a trigger that is interrupting your ability to move forward. I strongly suggest that you block her, for your own sanity. As for the friend, time will tell. You can't control what may or may not be happening between your friend and ex. However, you can remove yourself from the source (in this case, FB) of the information that is throwing you off balance. Link to post Share on other sites
Author calgary Posted March 12, 2013 Author Share Posted March 12, 2013 just ***king hate fb now. It brings out the worst in me. I mean end of the day its just a couple of likes, not that it really matters but it hurts because this same person has denied your very existence and is appreciating someone she met through me...feels horrible is it just another head game? my ex has played plenty of those with me. it's like she's trying to torture me . Link to post Share on other sites
Author calgary Posted March 12, 2013 Author Share Posted March 12, 2013 and the worst is she probably knows i am fb stalking her and i get that she isnt liking his pics but his status. and she knows thats enough to drive me nuts. She knows how to press my buttons... ****ing hate this woman same, I mean I broke up with mine for holding hands with guys infront of me, she knows her best friend once told me when I introduced her to this guy she thought he was hot. I feel the same way like they're trying to press our buttons, they know how to get to us. It's worse for me because she's liking his photos. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Minneloa Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 Gentlemen, With all due respect, you are letting your exes push your buttons. You are one click away from ending the torture. Do it. M. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author calgary Posted March 12, 2013 Author Share Posted March 12, 2013 Gentlemen, With all due respect, you are letting your exes push your buttons. You are one click away from ending the torture. Do it. M. i'm not an out of site out of mind kind of guy... more a ' fill in the blanks with my ridiculous imagination and drive myself crazy' kind of guy. Link to post Share on other sites
Mack05 Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 Calgary with my ex before last, I asked two of my friends to defriend her and to defriend her friends. I was an emotional wreck. I had no right to ask them to do this. My friends with no hesitation or questions just said "no worries mack" and it was done within 5 minutes of me asking. That's what real friends are supposed to do. If it bothers you this much just ask him to defriend her. If he says 'no' then you know the type of friend he is and you defriend him. This will help you with your sanity. I think you are better off without both of them to be honest. Especially if he can't respect your wishes (no matter how unreasonable they might be right now). I personally think you should start to leave this rickety old town and find someone with more life. You are on a downward spiral and unless u do something about it no one on this or any site can help you.. Do you want to be here in six months moaning and whinging about this girl, while she is off banging half of Canada whilst mind****ing you the whole time? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author calgary Posted March 12, 2013 Author Share Posted March 12, 2013 Calgary with my ex before last, I asked two of my friends to defriend her and to defriend her friends. I was an emotional wreck. I had no right to ask them to do this. My friends with no hesitation or questions just said "no worries mack" and it was done within 5 minutes of me asking. That's what real friends are supposed to do. If it bothers you this much just ask him to defriend her. If he says 'no' then you know the type of friend he is and you defriend him. This will help you with your sanity. I think you are better off without both of them to be honest. Especially if he can't respect your wishes (no matter how unreasonable they might be right now). I personally think you should start to leave this rickety old town and find someone with more life. You are on a downward spiral and unless u do something about it no one on this or any site can help you.. Do you want to be here in six months moaning and whinging about this girl, while she is off banging half of Canada whilst mind****ing you the whole time? here to the rescue again my friend! I agree, he wouldn't do that for me. he'd not be liking all of her stuff on facebook if he wasn't interested.. he barely even knows her, he met her like 3 times. It is time I left here. I have a course to finish, im thinking about leaving in February I think it will do me good but i'll be sad to leave family behind. I don't really have many good friends around here, I don't trust anybody.. I guess I look insecure and paranoid but I've been messed around so much in my life it's made me this way. Link to post Share on other sites
Mack05 Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 Thats where she starts thinking you are obsessing about her. He shouldn't give a monkey's nutsack what she thinks... Link to post Share on other sites
Mack05 Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 I guess I look insecure and paranoid but I've been messed around so much in my life it's made me this way. You need to fix this or you will never end up happy. Maybe fixing these issues within yourself beats the crap out of obsessing about her? Link to post Share on other sites
Author calgary Posted March 12, 2013 Author Share Posted March 12, 2013 Thats where she starts thinking you are obsessing about her. You have no right to ask anyone about their fb. If you trust your friends, you let them be. The point here is your ex is trying to frustrate you and you are yeilding to it. If your friend does cross the line from 'liking' stuff to sth else, then you can unfriend him for real. Until then BE COOL Thats another movie I have been raving about. Watch John Travolta be the coolest dude in hollywood and learn a thing or two about being cool yeah thing is aswell is, I don't trust him, if I asked him to delete her , he'd probably tell her I said that, who knows at this stage what he'll give away if they get together. such an awful place to be / situation to be in Link to post Share on other sites
Author calgary Posted March 12, 2013 Author Share Posted March 12, 2013 You need to fix this or you will never end up happy. Maybe fixing these issues within yourself beats the crap out of obsessing about her? true, although I always gave her freedom, never got possessive until I noticed her getting flirty with other guys.. I've had girlfriends cheat on me with friends before. I just need a new group of friends. new life away from drama and people like this.. it's just starting fresh can be pretty lonely and miserable for a while.. but it's for the best. Link to post Share on other sites
Mack05 Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 true but by controlling your friend's actions you are letting her know you are getting frustrated by her actions, which is admitting defeat If that what she thinks good luck to her. This has nothing to do with 'defeat'. Too many people focus way to much on gamesmanship post breakup. Not once (as a dumper/dumpee) I have ever felt 'defeated' by an ex. For me 'defeat' is Calgary still here in 6 months in the same or worse place then now. This is about doing whats right for Calgary. By removing all links to her, she can't play mind games. It also helps Calgary move forward. Real friends back you up, even when you are not being reasonable. If Calgary's mate doesn't then good luck to him. If Calgary's mate goes behind his back and tells her then he is not real mate. Best not spend life's precious time with such people. Link to post Share on other sites
Mack05 Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 true, although I always gave her freedom, never got possessive until I noticed her getting flirty with other guys.. I've had girlfriends cheat on me with friends before. I just need a new group of friends. new life away from drama and people like this.. it's just starting fresh can be pretty lonely and miserable for a while.. but it's for the best. Until you fix these issues above for good, all you will do is run from drama to drama...bad choice after bad choice.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author calgary Posted March 13, 2013 Author Share Posted March 13, 2013 it's official, she's flirting on his facebook, she knows I can see it. it's just flat out nasty of her. I didn't know she had it in her to be this cruel, after everything I've done I can't believe she'd do this to me. I feel really upset by it. i'll keep calm and she'll never know.. but inside i'm angry at myself for ever caring about her. what an absolutely horrible person. and him. this is probably one of the worst break ups I've ever gone through.. from her flirting in the first place and disappearing for an hour on nights out.. to holding hands with a guy infront of me.. to me having to dump her because she wouldn't stop and called me insecure.. to 5 days after the breakup she's planning on hooking up with a guy she works with.. to her coming at me with all this talk of self harming and suicide and getting me all worked up and stressed out and worried.. to her accusing me of dumping her for some girl I've met once in my entire life.. to now where she's flirting with a close family friend.. what an absolutely awful break up. what an absolutely awful person, i'm going to be messed up for a long time from this.. I was the nicest person ever to her because I thought she was nice too... the one thing I've learnt recently about the heart is, it's not about how much you love.. it's about how much you're loved. Link to post Share on other sites
flitzanu Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 it's official, she's flirting on his facebook, she knows I can see it. it's just flat out nasty of her. I didn't know she had it in her to be this cruel, after everything I've done I can't believe she'd do this to me. I feel really upset by it. i'll keep calm and she'll never know.. but inside i'm angry at myself for ever caring about her. what an absolutely horrible person. and him. this is probably one of the worst break ups I've ever gone through.. from her flirting in the first place and disappearing for an hour on nights out.. to holding hands with a guy infront of me.. to me having to dump her because she wouldn't stop and called me insecure.. to 5 days after the breakup she's planning on hooking up with a guy she works with.. to her coming at me with all this talk of self harming and suicide and getting me all worked up and stressed out and worried.. to her accusing me of dumping her for some girl I've met once in my entire life.. to now where she's flirting with a close family friend.. what an absolutely awful break up. what an absolutely awful person, i'm going to be messed up for a long time from this.. I was the nicest person ever to her because I thought she was nice too... the one thing I've learnt recently about the heart is, it's not about how much you love.. it's about how much you're loved. you're assuming your ex is doing it to get back at you. you should try assuming that your ex actually likes your friend, which is the most likely scenario. Link to post Share on other sites
Author calgary Posted March 13, 2013 Author Share Posted March 13, 2013 you're assuming your ex is doing it to get back at you. you should try assuming that your ex actually likes your friend, which is the most likely scenario. true, her friend once let slip that when I introduced them she thought he was really hot. Link to post Share on other sites
flitzanu Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 true, her friend once let slip that when I introduced them she thought he was really hot. so block her, and delete your friend. if he cared that much about your feelings, he wouldn't be flirting wiht her or speaking to her at all out of respect. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Kenji Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 Look, I know it feels like a violation of some sort of Bro Code, but if your friend and ex-girlfriend were meant to be together, would you really want to stand in the way of that? All of my friends are still friends with my ex-girlfriend on Facebook. I entertained the idea of one of my best friends falling for her, and yes, it made my blood boil. But I knew that if it were ever to happen, I would not throw him away. He's still my best friend. He can't control the way he feels, and it would be unfair for me to ask him to. The only way you should interfere is if you know for a fact that she is playing him. As it stands, she may just really like him (although putting it all over Facebook might be her trying to affect you at the same time). It would also be really nice of your friend to talk to you about it before he did anything, but maybe he's afraid of the confrontation. Sometimes, good people do bad things. I learned that today, in fact. It is maddening to think that she might be purposely trying to make you jealous or hurt, but on closer inspection, I recall times in which I behaved the same way. And I always thought of myself as a good guy. I think, once we understand things from their perspective, we can truly forgive them and move on. Today, I feel that I am closer to that state, and it is honestly extremely liberating. As for you, I would recommend blocking everything on Facebook that concerns her. You are not ready to see her happy with anyone else, much less your best friend. You might have to face it sooner or later, but you should choose to face it later when you are stronger. Because you will get stronger, I know it. Link to post Share on other sites
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