Pen pal for 10 years!

[Jonathan]

I've had this pen pal since I was 15 years old. I'm now 26. For a couple durations we've quit writing, but we've been there for each other for a long, long time! I'm male. She's female. We've been witnessing each other go through relationships like underwear, but our friendship goes on and on. I've even been married a short time, and that relationship in its entirity only lasted four years. I consider myself extremely lucky to have her and sometimes even wonder if she harbors feelings more than of friendship, but I resist the temptation to ask as I have for years.

 

The problem is, we've never met personally. It gets more difficult as time goes by to go on without at least meeting her. If I could afford it, I would go out there to visit a short time. I'm assuming no one here can relate to my ordeal, because she's been a pen pal a full third of my life! What would any of you do?

[Ryan]

I can understand how such a situation may create some deep emotions, but you have to keep in mind that communication by letter is definitely not a substitute for a real relationship. If you have mutual feelings and want to develop a romantic interest, it simply can't thrive by mail alone. I don't know what kind of distance is between you two, but truly understanding other human beings can't be fully realized unless you have personal contact with them. I think it's a perfectly valid question to bring up with her, and if you two have kept in contact this long I highly doubt the subject would cause her to run for the mountains. Personally I don't think you have much to hold back at this point. If you are true to yourself and she can't handle it, then she really isn't someone for you to be around.