Feeling Lost an Lonely-Husband asked for a Separation

[Blondx]

I have been lurking here for awhile,but just didn't have the nerve to post,and things always seems to work out,or so I thought.

I'll give ya'll has much background as I can.I'm not thinking clearly to say the least.I have only been home with my husband of 5yrs(Together for 10-we got married on our 5th anniversary)and my 2 son's,1we have together,for 1month.In that month we have a place of our own and I was trying harder than I have ever tried in my life.The cooking,cleaning,clothes an getting up at 4:20 am to take him to work.

 

Once every week he has to go to meetings for the state, he got a DUI.

This is hard on me,After all I do for him an our family.I have Lupus an Fibromyalgia which makes things even more difficult.I do not feel what I do is appreciated at all.We have been having trouble for years,arguing-an bickering we ar both very stubborn.We both want it our way,altho I give in more than he to keep the peace.

 

Things started getting very bad since I have been home,well the last 2 weeks.I well threatened by the women at his job(He told mehe wouldleave me an let one of those idiots take care of his needs).I prolly did take things to far usually do.I stayed on him about those girls.Did U get flashed today?What kinda nasty comments did those skanks say today?Stuff like that.I Know I was wrong but I would just work myself up all day,so by the time he got home I was pissed!!!!

 

Finally broke 2 days ago-He asked for a separation-I was devastated.I was silly enough to believe everything he had told me an that he would never leave me thought we had a closeness like no other.I can't eat can't sleep and my thought process goes from crazy,to mad to scared.He sees me crying and ask me WHY?How could he.he says I have not made him feel loved how could I not had with all do for him.He attacks everything about me,I see the coldness in his eyes.He wants us to separate,live in the same place together,me take him where he needs to go an he will help me by buying what I need-Buy we will no longer be a couple.I can date if I want but don't be a SL*T an of coarse,he dates who he wants while all during these conversations,he says he is interested in NO one,he just wants to be alone.

 

I have always thought that 2 people the really really were in love worked out their problems.How can we work this out me seeing him daily doing for him but getting nothing but food an smokes for all of this?

I am Devastated!!!!I have no idea what to do.I can't imagine him not in my life love him more than life-he sees me cry an he says its b/c I'm scared It's honestly Not.Every tear I shed is the hopelessness I feel for me an him.

 

We have had so many of these fight in the past so now he just is done with them but after we always fell into the same ole routine.He don't believe me but he only gave me a month to prove anything!!

He has told me he does not know if he wants me in his future that our relationship was over a long time ago BUT he wasn't then an NOW is not Done with me-See my confusion.He is hoping this "Separation" will bring us closer an we get back together for a happier an better marrige or keep goin like we ar an end up hating one another.I just don't understand.

I'm sorry this is so Long really need some help here.

Thanx ahead Blond

[Moose]

Boy, this is a tough one. It sounds to me that he's giving up totally. He's just too chicken to out right say it. I would tell him to quit pussy footin' round and either let you go or fix the problems.

[Tim]

try reading a book by dr james dobson called love must be tough. i have read it and it has helped me. you dont attract a mate by begging or crying and pleading but we think we can keep them that way. find out what the book says on this

[Scott S]

Hi!

 

Posted in your other thread under "Breaking Up."

[karen35]

Originally posted by Blondx

IWe have been having trouble for years,arguing-an bickering we ar both very stubborn.We both want it our way,altho I give in more than he to keep the peace.

 

You mentioned your husband had a DUI. Is he still drinking? My husband is a sober alcoholic, and I know when he was drinking we had a lot of fighting & bickering that I think was partially alcohol-induced.

 

Things started getting very bad since I have been home,well the last 2 weeks.I well threatened by the women at his job(He told mehe wouldleave me an let one of those idiots take care of his needs).I prolly did take things to far usually do.I stayed on him about those girls.Did U get flashed today?What kinda nasty comments did those skanks say today?Stuff like that.I Know I was wrong

 

I wouldn't feel too guilty about that. His threatening with leaving you for some other woman seems terrible/unthinkable to me. Of course you would feel threatened & upset & make comments after that!

 

If he is drinking & making comments to you like that, I don't think that is a good situation for you to be in...