She's Interested but playing it hard to get?

[Swansea]

This girl has popped out of no where and i think she might be interested in getting to know me more.

 

What do you think? It sounds like it...what should i do?

 

So 3 years ago i went to my parent's home country on a trip and one day my cousin showed me a picture of her class and there were many students and i pointed the ugly and hot girls and i find this one GORGEOUS girl and i told my cousin i liked her and it would be cool to meet her...

 

Well as it turned out, my parents went to that girls house because her mom is like friends with my parents so i went and i was excited to meet her but the girl never came out, she was in her room busy, and we left quite fast so i never saw her and that was the end of that...

 

Well 3 and a half years later ( 1 month ago) i got a friend invite from her on FB and it took me several minutes to remember her because i had no idea who she was anymore, i remembered, didnt make too much of it, and said hi.

 

She said hi, and then 6 mins after that she put a smiley face ( FB tells u this),

so two weeks past where i dont say anything because i didnt really care, but i eventually liked two of her pictures which appeared in my status update and i guess she saw who liked her picture and she sent me a message explaining who she was clearly making it obvious we never met, and i said i remembered in a nice way and that was that.

 

So she sends me an invite 3 years later despite being strangers really ( my cousin must have told her i like her) and when i like a picture she finds a window to introduce herself? I mean she has to be interested for her to do this right? it could be her being nice but shed have to be like this to everyone id guess lol...if u understand what i mean...

 

And then two weeks after that i liked one of her pictures, she liked 4 of mine, and i told her id like to get to know her more in a casual way, and she told me thanks and that she would be there whenever i wanted to talk to someone and we proceeded to talk and then i had to leave so i said bye, and just right now i started a conversation while i wait she wakes up from where she is..

 

 

So i mean...for all of this to happen with a stranger...she must be interested but is taking it slowly and expecting me to be her friend first or is she as insecure as i am..?

 

Like shes extending her hand but not throwing her self at me so i find no problem with friendly flirting ( which doesnt go by as too strong)...

 

So my plan is to flirt while be very friendly and cool...and i see we have many similarities...

 

You think shes interested atleast a bit?

 

It could be that she thought that it was nice i liked her, saw me on fb and sent me the invite, but for her to go out of her way to do it, and then go out of her way to extend her hand further when i liked a picture...i mean it HAS TO be that shes a bit interested even though she lives in another country? Or else why extend her hand to me when according to her friends list not even some of my cousins who live over there are on her friends list, yet i a stranger am?

Edited March 12, 2013 by Swansea

[fungusamungus]

You are reading WAY WAY WAY too much into this...

 

In fact, it's more than just reading too much into it, it's more likely misreading. Dude, you've never met her, she lives in another country, your cousin most likely told her that you had said something years ago, she probably got curious and added you and is having some non-committal fun, and who knows, maybe make a new friend. No one looks for a significant other from another country through facebook.

 

A few years ago, I drunkenly told one of my friends that I wanted to hook up with one of her sorority sisters who had recently come to visit. She thought it was hysterical and told her, and I got a FB invite the next day and we'd randomly chat and flirt here and there... why? Because she lived in frickin California, on the opposite side of the USA, and there was basically no risk in doing so because it was never going to turn into anything. Same story here, only I never read it as anything, because it was going to turn into anything.

[Swansea]

You are reading WAY WAY WAY too much into this...

 

In fact, it's more than just reading too much into it, it's more likely misreading. Dude, you've never met her, she lives in another country, your cousin most likely told her that you had said something years ago, she probably got curious and added you and is having some non-committal fun, and who knows, maybe make a new friend. No one looks for a significant other from another country through facebook.

 

A few years ago, I drunkenly told one of my friends that I wanted to hook up with one of her sorority sisters who had recently come to visit. She thought it was hysterical and told her, and I got a FB invite the next day and we'd randomly chat and flirt here and there... why? Because she lived in frickin California, on the opposite side of the USA, and there was basically no risk in doing so because it was never going to turn into anything. Same story here, only I never read it as anything, because it was going to turn into anything.

 

Well i think this is a bit too negative and it closes all ideas of it when in fact i dont think its THAT bad i mean...

 

Let me give u a list of why i think there may be atleast a glimmer of possibility of she being interested in some way...

 

1. She doesnt have all too many facebook friends, she doesnt seem like TOO much of a social person, she reminds me of me, she looks like a very nice, honest girl, maybe even a bit of a dork, the way she transmits her self is kinda reminding of an introvert, so i doubt there would be a chance of friending me if it wasnt for the fact shes curious despite never meeting and this being almost 4 years ago, i mean, not even i had that thought, ever.

 

2. She sends me the invite and i dont know, she didnt say anything, maybe she was timid and if she was that tells me there was an idea of maybe trying to get to know me, because i said hi first, then she said hi and then two weeks later ( because i didnt really care) i finally liked 2 pictures of hers that appeared in my facebook status update and she reacted with a message explaining " maybe u r asking yourself, who is she? well one time you came to my mom's house..."

So here shes practically explaining who she is?? You think im not gonna have any doubts after this?! ( and she says it all in a nice but dignified manner), i tell her i remember and we kinda part with a happy face.

 

3. Well 2 weeks pass again and i like another picture of her( 3rd time) and she likes 4 of mine, so i decide to tell her id like to know more about her ( in a casual way) and she said thanks, "even though im far, i will always be here whenever you want someone to talk to, happy friday! (insert my name)" and i replied and we had a conversation for 50 mins until i had to leave, we ended saying bye...in a nice way, and i figured that we had even more in common...

 

4. She likes to travel by what i see in her pictures, right now shes in germany but even so you might say, well shes extroverted and friends anyone, but shes not, she doesnt have alot of friends, shes kind of dorky, and shes so nice to extend her hand multiple times so that i talk..

 

 

So i figured id be nice with her, be friendly, try to be friends, and flirt with her a bit to see if maybe sometime i could take her out some time in real life because its not really out of the ordinary..

 

I just think that she could have continued through her life without doing so but shes extended her hand in many ways and is nice enough to say i can talk to her whenever i want..

 

I mean shed have to be a bit narrow minded not to think itd think this, specially with all of this..

 

Thing that puts me off is when she says " even though im far away, and the fact that she didnt really talk unless i liked something, but that shows that shes thinking to be careful, ON PURPOSE...but if she just wanted to be friends why bother with everything, i mean what she need me to be simply a friend for? And she kept baiting me in a way i think..

 

Sorry if i disagree i just think theres a small chance @ the very least that im right..

 

I mean, why friend invite a stranger who you seem eager to extend a hand to not only by inviting him but by talking to him everytime he gave a hint of a smell?

 

 

And regarding your thing, risk? then why do it in the first place? Thats one of my main points, what does she have to gain in friending me if she doesnt atleast think in a little bit of a curious way of maybe getting to know me more?

Edited March 12, 2013 by Swansea

[fungusamungus]

Again... reading WAY too much into this. When you say, "is she interested", I gotta ask, "interested" in what, exactly? Dating, being friends, just having a random online buddy to talk to when bored, etc.?

 

You may think that I'm being "narrow-minded", but then again, if I tell someone to not get their hopes up about winning a lottery, you might also call me "narrow-minded". I'm speaking from experience, and I'm speaking from an unbiased observer who isn't trying to make something out of nothing. You cannot read this situation objectively, because you're already emotionally invested in it (which... you shouldn't be). Again, I'm not trying to be condescending, I say it because I used to be a lot like you. You sound inexperienced, and that's not a criticism, simply that inexperienced people tend to overread and hang onto little bits of nothing. Why do I say that? Because I used to do it too, and once I started dating more consistently, I learned to separate what was meaningful from the fluff.

 

Why do it in the first place? Curiosity, boredom, you said yourself... she doesn't seem like she has a lot of friends (btw, don't make these kinds of generalizations from someone's facebook), and probably just for fun. And it's easy to do something like this, because it's fun, you get to know someone new, and you do so in about as risk free of a manner as you can, because with someone that you meet over hte internet, etc. you have someone to talk to, without any consequence in your real life. Because, you are not part of her everyday life, nor is she part of yours (unless you make her one, by overthinking this over and over again).

Edited March 12, 2013 by fungusamungus

[Swansea]

Again... reading WAY too much into this. When you say, "is she interested", I gotta ask, "interested" in what, exactly? Dating, being friends, just having a random online buddy to talk to when bored, etc.?

 

You may think that I'm being "narrow-minded", but then again, if I tell someone to not get their hopes up about winning a lottery, you might also call me "narrow-minded". I'm speaking from experience, and I'm speaking from an unbiased observer who isn't trying to make something out of nothing. You cannot read this situation objectively, because you're already emotionally invested in it (which... you shouldn't be). Again, I'm not trying to be condescending, I say it because I used to be a lot like you. You sound inexperienced, and that's not a criticism, simply that inexperienced people tend to overread and hang onto little bits of nothing. Why do I say that? Because I used to do it too, and once I started dating more consistently, I learned to separate what was meaningful from the fluff.

 

Why do it in the first place? Curiosity, boredom, you said yourself... she doesn't seem like she has a lot of friends (btw, don't make these kinds of generalizations from someone's facebook), and probably just for fun. And it's easy to do something like this, because it's fun, you get to know someone new, and you do so in about as risk free of a manner as you can, because with someone that you meet over hte internet, etc. you have someone to talk to, without any consequence in your real life. Because, you are not part of her everyday life, nor is she part of yours (unless you make her one, by overthinking this over and over again).

 

Good points and well written, i usually try to keep my feet on the ground and even now i dont think im totally speaking out of my butthole, for a month i took it without thinking too much but, i gave in a bit and thats certainly a very valid way to look at it.

 

And the generalization is made based of on a bit of bias of course... but i do kinda see her "profile".

 

Well i dont know if i actually "know" what to do know, usually apparently i have started most of the conversations because of what i considered as interest from her, whatever that means. If its a stalemate like it was for 2 separate weeks i dont know what to do, ignore this for good? But id like to know her more... should i try to be her friend? But only reason to do that for me would be for more considering id like some kind of friendship with someone like her because my cousin told me good things about her...

 

I guess if anything i will try not to overthink it...See now im left with nothing and i guess i decided to over think it so something happened which is like a drug for me perhaps.

 

EDIT: when i say interested i mean interested in getting to know me more, maybe become a friend but then, i mean for her to have me as a random talking buddy, or just a friend would seem ridiculous considering well theres no reason other than if shes interested in getting to know more more and maybe be friends who could some day date if she came to live here or me over there or something..and all of this because i guess i simply wouldnt send someone i never met a friend request unless it was for something like what i imagine which could be interpreted as imagining in context with my desires...but hey not even i had thought about her again for more than 3 times in 3 years..

 

I mean, maybe she was curious even though it could be hard to date in any way because she just seems so much like me and this allowed me to feel safe to think this could be it..if its not this then its nothing worth any of our time i assume.

Edited March 12, 2013 by Swansea