Sebastian76 Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 Low down: Have been dating this 29 yo woman for about 4 months. She split with her ex (they have a 2.5yo kid) just before we started dating, so she needed a house mate to cover some of the expenses for rent. She found this guy online who rents a room and they share living room, kitchen and bathroom. He's 42-45 and works in the city but has his own house, wife and two kids in another part of the country (3 hrs drive). He is pretty well off money wise so offered to pay more in rent that she asked for etc etc. I have been suspecting that he has got the hots for her. She is very attractive and sweet and he's just been overly nice to her. I didn't mind too much, but the following really bothers me. She just got her tax bill for 2012 and found out that she owed $2500 in tax. He came back some days later and straight up offered to pay her tax bill, saying that he would have to pay those money in tax anyways. The deal is in my country, if you have expenses for two house holds, the second house hold expenses are fully deductible. So if he payed her the $2500 and say they are for rent he can deduct it all. If tax is 50% sure he'll save paying $1250 in tax, but the remaining $1250 are still straight out of his pocket. She happily accepted his offer and explanation but it bugs the hell out of me. I can fully accept that guys will try smooth their way in with a pretty girl, and guys hit on her all the time if we go out, but I find it really hard to accept that some dude gets to play sugar daddy for my gf. And not just some random dude, but her bloody house mate. I'm seriously considering dumping her and move on, as I don't find it acceptible and also find it hard to believe that anybody can be that naive. But I am not sure... Completely ignored her calls and texts yesterday, but have to find out what to do. What are your views on this dilemma? Thanks, Seb Link to post Share on other sites
will1988 Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 To me it sounds like either your gf is as niave as hell, she is using this guy for his money (but not putting out), or she is already putting out for his money. If I were you I would tell her you do not feel comfortable with that guy, and to ask her to set up some boundries with him. Or you could confront him and tell him to back off. However, if your GF likes the status quo and likes getting money from some random guy (who knows what she is doing with him when you are not there btw) I would break things off with her now! Link to post Share on other sites
EasyHeart Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 It sounds to me like he's paying her taxes and subsidizing her rent while you're f-ing her. What the hell do you have to complain about?!?! Link to post Share on other sites
TaserTag Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 The arrangement wouldn't be odd to me, except for the fact that the guy is paying more rent than she asked for and keeps giving her extra money. If he were just paying his rent and minding his own business, I wouldn't find it so strange. I don't often see people just giving away money and gifts for no reason, though. Are you sure that your girlfriend isn't already with this guy? How long has he been giving her extra money like this, about 4 months now? It's possible that he's just trying to seduce her, but I would think that he's either trying to seduce her or already has. I wouldn't be comfortable with my girlfriend living with him. I was taught never to accept money & gifts from someone like that, though, because they rarely come without strings attached. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 I have been suspecting that he has got the hots for her. She is very attractive and sweet and he's just been overly nice to her. I didn't mind too much, but the following really bothers me. The whole scenario should bother you, not just the extra money. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sebastian76 Posted March 12, 2013 Author Share Posted March 12, 2013 It would surprise me if anything had happened, but who knows. I just went travelling for 40 days and came back a couple of weeks ago. Things have been super great with her, and she is very affectionate with me and sends me really sweet text messages all the time and want to have sex non stop. One thing I am pretty sure of though is that he is trying to get into her pants -I mean its pretty obvious right? As you say, people don't give away money or gifts for no reason and it is really uncomfortable having this douche living in her apartment, just waiting for the right time to strike, like some bloody snake. I honestly have no issue with my girlfriend having a male tenant, but not if he's a pursuer which seems to be the case. ****, feel like I can't win! If I air my thoughts, I'm just like the controlling guy she left. Even worse, I'm like the controlling guy who ask her to rid of her money tree. If I act like it's all good I cross my own boundaries and will be jealous all the time. If I dump her over this I'll loose my girl and he wins. My friend said that I should just sit it out, act like nothing and just wait for this guy to blow it on his own. He thought that sooner or later he would make a clumsy move and with her being into me that would be the end of him living there. Still feels like crossing my boundaries though:( Link to post Share on other sites
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