Is the world trying to screw me over?!

[somedude81]

I don't know what's going on, actions beyond me control keep happening and it's just frustrating.

 

Today was my math lab class that only meets once a week. I'm dropping the class, so today is my last day. There is a girl I'm interested in who usually sits next to me and I talk to her for 20 minutes or so till the end of class. Knowing that today was my last day I was planning on asking her out or getting her number.

 

I show up a few minutes late and she's not there. Thirty minutes later she shows up, she walks over to the seat next to me, I'm sitting by myself in a back row, I smile and say "Right on time" then she doesn't respond, looks to the front of the room and walks away to her girlfriends and sits next to them. Huh?

 

There is an exam tomorrow so she and her friends are doing math stuff. I wait till the end of class go over to their area and there is no chair in the spot next to her. Huh? Anyways I'm just wondering how I'm supposed to ask her out when she's with her friends doing math and I haven't even talked to her. At the end of class they always leave together and they are in the same class next. I leave without saying in a word and fall into a bad mood.

 

Next class is salsa. The girls I have absolutely no interest in come find me and talk to me for too long and they both want me to dance with them. I just wish they would leave me alone but I'm nice. We're rotating partners and I see that a girl I'm interested in is just a few girls away. The dance changes to Bachata and I start to get happy knowing that I get to dance really close to her. Then she leaves with her guy partner to the other side of the room. Huh? I have no idea why she moved and because she did, it meant that I would not be able to dance with her today Finally class ends, then she gets signed in by the instructor and she quickly leaves before I can say anything to her. Huh? Last Thursday I was able to get a last dance with her before she walked to her next class. Today she almost seemed to be avoiding me. Really? She was always fun and smiles around me so I don't know what's going on. Her next class was in 30 minutes so she shouldn't have been in a hurry.

 

Then just to make things worse, the two girls I want nothing to do with tried to call me over and give me a cupcacke or something but I told them I don't want to miss the bus. I think one or both like me or want to be my friend or something, either way I don't care. I was also in a bad mood and just wanted to go home.

 

I was super angry about what happened today and at least writing this calmed me down.

 

I don't know what to do. I've only gone to the last two math labs because of that girl. I could go again next week but it's getting harder to explain my presence since I'm not even in the class or taking the tests. I also feel that I'm putting in a ton of time and thought into a girl who will probably reject me anyways. Right now my options are to stick out another hour of math next week pretending to pay attention so I can talk to at the end of class, or ask her out on Facebook which basically doesn't have a chance in hell of working.

 

I'll see the other girl on Thursday but I don't know what to do about her. I need to time things right and my location in the room so I can talk to her and avoid the people I don't want to see. I have no idea if she was avoiding me or not. Things were starting to get fun with her so it feels like a total change of direction.

 

I just hope Thursday will go better. Or maybe something else will go wrong. Who knows?

[MrCastle]

This is insane lol don't sit in a class you hate and aren't even taking just to talk to a girl. That's lame bro.

 

Wait outside before class starts so you can catch her before she goes in. Say something like "Hey I just wanted to get your number or something I won't be taking this class anymore, you seem cool". Or time it so that you're walking by that classroom as it's letting out and you catch her then.

 

Above all, energy is real. Negative thoughts bring about negative energy. I know you don't like to hear that and think it's a line of sh*t but it's true.

 

Believing the universe is out to get you will only bring about negative situations.

 

Start thinking positive.

[iKING]

The world is not trying to screw you over, but the world has no entitlement for anything to anyone. I'm sorry to hear of your frustrations and unfortunate circumstance, but you're just going to have to keep trying. Giving up will not improve the situation. Brush off the blows and keep fighting.

 

Keep your chin up, stay positive.

[fortyninethousand322]

I do think that a run of bad long that stretches for years is perhaps indicative that things are beyond your control...

[ThaWholigan]

This sh*t ain't nothing to be angry about. Sorry dude, but this is exactly why I try to explain to you that you MUST change the way that you view the world. Start taking more bold maneuvers - and stop taking it so seriously. There are other girls, even the girls you don't like. You don't have to date them but there is nothing wrong with talking to them. There is no harm.

 

I do think that a run of bad long that stretches for years is perhaps indicative that things are beyond your control...

 

49, I understand why you guys think this way and why you say this, but this view does not help - it merely encourages him AND you to cease to take appropriate action.

[Imajerk17]

Next class is salsa. The girls I have absolutely no interest in come find me and talk to me for too long and they both want me to dance with them. I just wish they would leave me alone but I'm nice. ....

 

Then just to make things worse, the two girls I want nothing to do with tried to call me over and give me a cupcacke or something but I told them I don't want to miss the bus. I think one or both like me or want to be my friend or something, either way I don't care. I was also in a bad mood and just wanted to go home.

 

....

 

I just had to point this out. You keep saying that even average women have options and guys like you don't. Well from this it looks to me that you indeed have options too. As they aren't options you are interested in though, it doesn't make you feel any better.

 

I'm not bringing this up to pick on you somedude, just want you to get some perspective. That some women want more to do with you means that you're not starting from zero.

 

Anyway sorry that the news was delivered to you so harshly, but it sounds to me that neither girl you had your eye on was interested. It has nothing to do with logistics or whatever screwing you up, if they were interested you would have had a chance of interacting.

[clia]

So, you're blaming the world because you don't have the balls to go up to either of these girls and just ask for their number?

 

I show up a few minutes late and she's not there. Thirty minutes later she shows up, she walks over to the seat next to me, I'm sitting by myself in a back row, I smile and say "Right on time" then she doesn't respond, looks to the front of the room and walks away to her girlfriends and sits next to them. Huh?

 

Oh, God forbid she goes and sits with her friends.

 

There is an exam tomorrow so she and her friends are doing math stuff. I wait till the end of class go over to their area and there is no chair in the spot next to her. Huh? Anyways I'm just wondering how I'm supposed to ask her out when she's with her friends doing math and I haven't even talked to her. At the end of class they always leave together and they are in the same class next. I leave without saying in a word and fall into a bad mood.

 

You walk up to her and say "Hey Susie, this is my last day in class, and I've really enjoyed talking with you in class. Can I get your number so I can take you out sometime?" Who cares if her friends are sitting there? What the heck do you need a chair for to ask her out? It would take you all of 30 seconds to do this.

 

The girls I have absolutely no interest in come find me and talk to me for too long and they both want me to dance with them. I just wish they would leave me alone but I'm nice.

 

What's wrong with these two girls? If you are so desperate for a date, why don't you ask one of them out?

 

The dance changes to Bachata and I start to get happy knowing that I get to dance really close to her. Then she leaves with her guy partner to the other side of the room. Huh? I have no idea why she moved and because she did, it meant that I would not be able to dance with her today. Finally class ends, then she gets signed in by the instructor and she quickly leaves before I can say anything to her. Huh? Last Thursday I was able to get a last dance with her before she walked to her next class. Today she almost seemed to be avoiding me. Really? She was always fun and smiles around me so I don't know what's going on. Her next class was in 30 minutes so she shouldn't have been in a hurry.

 

Wahhh...you couldn't dance with her today. Just ask her out next week. BFD. Oh, but wait -- you'll come up another excuse for why you couldn't ask her out, right?

 

I don't know what to do. I've only gone to the last two math labs because of that girl.

 

What happened in class last time that you couldn't ask her out? You look really foolish to go to a class that you already dropped.

 

I'll see the other girl on Thursday but I don't know what to do about her. I need to time things right and my location in the room so I can talk to her and avoid the people I don't want to see.

 

This sounds like a big excuse. You need to time things right and your location in the room? What? Just go up to her before or after class and ask for her number. Again, 30 seconds, tops.

 

Also...don't you need that math class to graduate in May?

[MrCastle]

This sh*t ain't nothing to be angry about. Sorry dude, but this is exactly why I try to explain to you that you MUST change the way that you view the world. Start taking more bold maneuvers - and stop taking it so seriously. There are other girls, even the girls you don't like. You don't have to date them but there is nothing wrong with talking to them. There is no harm.[/Quote]

 

Agreed. I didn't think the girl not sitting next to him was some epic thing. Work around that. I admit I have been guilty of creating scenarios in my head, and then when they didn't go exactly the way I planned, I scrambled.

 

I've been the guy that planned to talk to a girl one day, only to have her show up late and sit somewhere else or not show up at all. You work around it. Adapt. Catch her after class, catch her next time, whatever. Don't think that was your one and only opportunity and it was blown by things outside of your control.

 

That's the problem I see some men have. They make the situation more dramatic than it is. They tell themselves the night before "I'm going to talk to her tomorrow", and the idea stays in their head and just continues to grow, so that when the opportunity comes, if it doesn't go down exactly as they planned it, they feel like they just lost the Super Bowl.

 

You can't take this stuff seriously. Just act. Sometimes acting before thinking is even better. Don't plan. Now when I see a hot girl in class, I make a move asap, before doubt and overthinking can creep in. I don't say "ahh she's hot! alright in two weeks I'll make a move. I'll wear my favorite shirt, I'll have a new haircut by that time, it's gonna be awesome".

 

Just make a move.

 

 

 

49, I understand why you guys think this way and why you say this, but this view does not help - it merely encourages him AND you to cease to take appropriate action.

 

Truth. And that touches on a bigger problem on here. Most unsuccessful men would prefer to read things like this, to make them feel safe. Misery loves company. They like reading hopeless posts because it makes them feel like they're not the only ones going through it, and it's beyond their control, so there's no use in even trying.

[somedude81]

This is insane lol don't sit in a class you hate and aren't even taking just to talk to a girl. That's lame bro.

Yeah it is super lame.

 

I can just image her or one of the girls asking, "you did really bad on the last two tests, why don't you drop the class." And I reply, "I'm only here because I want to talk to you."

Wait outside before class starts so you can catch her before she goes in. Say something like "Hey I just wanted to get your number or something I won't be taking this class anymore, you seem cool". Or time it so that you're walking by that classroom as it's letting out and you catch her then.

After class makes sense since my next class is very close to that one. I could wait for her outside. I'm just not sure what to do when she'd be with two other girls.

 

Could I just be standing outside and call her over to me and then said what you wrote?

Above all, energy is real. Negative thoughts bring about negative energy. I know you don't like to hear that and think it's a line of sh*t but it's true.

 

Believing the universe is out to get you will only bring about negative situations.

 

Start thinking positive.

Dude there is so much crap that happens to me in regards to women. I really do feel that the universe is out to get me, and I have no idea how to change that thinking when sh*t keeps happening.

 

There seriously is no reason why I couldn't have had a GF by now or at least had something sexual happen with a girl. It truly does feel that a higher power is toying with me.

The world is not trying to screw you over, but the world has no entitlement for anything to anyone. I'm sorry to hear of your frustrations and unfortunate circumstance, but you're just going to have to keep trying. Giving up will not improve the situation. Brush off the blows and keep fighting.

 

Keep your chin up, stay positive.

Entitlement? I just want to be normal, to experience the joys and pleasures of life that everybody else gets to. (That's not an invitation for people to start telling me about others who have it worse than I do.)

 

I do keep trying, but it is wearing me down. I have 18 years straight of nothing but failure with girls and I don't know how much more I can take. Right now it's making me mentally exhausted where I feel I need to take naps in the middle of the day just to get by.

[fortyninethousand322]

Well, these were predictable responses. I must be Nostradamus or something.

[PJKino]

I think some of us just have something inherently about us in our dna and our vibe that turns women off and theyres nothing we can do about it

[fortyninethousand322]

I think some of us just have something inherently about us in our dna and our vibe that turns women off and theyres nothing we can do about it

 

Oh no, that's blasphemy to the "anyone can turn their life around, all you need is confidence" cult.

[ThaWholigan]

Well, these were predictable responses. I must be Nostradamus or something.

 

Not quite as predictable as this thread or your response in particular.

 

I think some of us just have something inherently about us in our dna and our vibe that turns women off and theyres nothing we can do about it

 

Oh no, that's blasphemy to the "anyone can turn their life around, all you need is confidence" cult.

 

It's not "blasphemy", it's BS.

 

 

You guys really make a rod for your own back .

[somedude81]

I do think that a run of bad long that stretches for years is perhaps indicative that things are beyond your control...

That's exactly how I see it. It's not natural for things to go so wrong for so long.

This sh*t ain't nothing to be angry about. Sorry dude, but this is exactly why I try to explain to you that you MUST change the way that you view the world. Start taking more bold maneuvers - and stop taking it so seriously. There are other girls, even the girls you don't like. You don't have to date them but there is nothing wrong with talking to them. There is no harm.

I do talk to them, for too long. And the harm is that I don't get to talk to the people I do want to talk to.

 

The big problem with that is that I'm a nice guy and I'm not going to get up and walk away when I see a person I want to talk to if I'm already talking to somebody. But I probably should do that.

 

I don't even know what bold maneuvers are.

 

 

I just had to point this out. You keep saying that even average women have options and guys like you don't. Well from this it looks to me that you indeed have options too. As they aren't options you are interested in though, it doesn't make you feel any better.

 

I'm not bringing this up to pick on you somedude, just want you to get some perspective. That some women want more to do with you means that you're not starting from zero.

In a room of about 25 girls, they are among the top 3 least attractive girls in the class. Both girls are very obese.

 

When it comes to women I have very low standards. The only real dealbreaker I have is don't be obese. I also made a thread a while ago that obese women have been the only girls to ever be interested in me. So no, I can't see it as a plus that they are interested in me.

 

Anyway sorry that the news was delivered to you so harshly, but it sounds to me that neither girl you had your eye on was interested. It has nothing to do with logistics or whatever screwing you up, if they were interested you would have had a chance of interacting.

None of the 25+ girls I have been interested in my life have ever returned any interest.

 

It doesn't make any sense for me to keep striking out. I'm not a bad looking dude, I'm not that awkward and I'm very sociable with girls, I'm smell good, I'm funny. There is just no reason why nobody halfway decent has ever been interested in me.

[MrCastle]

Oh no, that's blasphemy to the "anyone can turn their life around, all you need is confidence" cult.

 

Confidence and the belief that it was all I needed are what changed me around.

 

I didn't get taller, I didn't get more muscular, my face didn't get hotter. I got more confidence.

 

Sometimes, I still get a rush when I say something bold to a woman, not knowing what her reaction will be. I know very few men have the stones for it, and I have been rewarded as a result.

 

Having stones will get you far in dating. Having stones and not caring about outcomes will get you even farther.

[somedude81]

I think some of us just have something inherently about us in our dna and our vibe that turns women off and theyres nothing we can do about it

I don't want to accept that because it means that there is no point in trying and I might as well kill myself.

 

I have to keep struggling.

[MrCastle]

There is often talk about the "20%" of men. I do agree, a small portion of men get the babes, but it's not because those men are the tallest, richest, best looking guys with the biggest penises. They are the men that made moves.

 

The difference between you, Somedude, and me, is the fact that I would walk up to the girl and get her number, while you were still sitting in the background planning for the perfect moment.

 

A lion doesn't wait for the perfect conditions to hunt prey. It sees prey and goes after it.

 

The quote I live by is "Fortune favors the bold". You want something, go after it.

 

Few men do that. The ones that do, are rewarded for it.

[fortyninethousand322]

I don't want to accept that because it means that there is no point in trying and I might as well kill myself.

 

I have to keep struggling.

 

Well, hopefully you find a hobby or lifestyle that takes the place of your desire to have a woman in your life. I don't know, maybe get into weight lifting or recording sick beats, or taking up the saxophone and doing street performances. Something.

 

Those are better choices than continuing to bang your head against a wall.

[fortyninethousand322]

There is often talk about the "20%" of men. I do agree, a small portion of men get the babes, but it's not because those men are the tallest, richest, best looking guys with the biggest penises. They are the men that made moves.

 

The difference between you, Somedude, and me, is the fact that I would walk up to the girl and get her number, while you were still sitting in the background planning for the perfect moment.

 

A lion doesn't wait for the perfect conditions to hunt prey. It sees prey and goes after it.

 

The quote I live by is "Fortune favors the bold". You want something, go after it.

 

Few men do that. The ones that do, are rewarded for it.

 

I think he would be bold but be looked at as some kind of creep. That's the difference between him and you.

 

You can be the boldest guy in America, doesn't mean diddly poo.

[MrCastle]

I think he would be bold but be looked at as some kind of creep. That's the difference between him and you.

 

You can be the boldest guy in America, doesn't mean diddly poo.

 

Why would he be a creep? He already listed some positive traits right? Good hygiene, socially competant, nice dresser.

 

He'd only be a creep if he thought he was a creep.

[PJKino]

Confidence and the belief that it was all I needed are what changed me around.

 

I didn't get taller, I didn't get more muscular, my face didn't get hotter. I got more confidence.

 

Sometimes, I still get a rush when I say something bold to a woman, not knowing what her reaction will be. I know very few men have the stones for it, and I have been rewarded as a result.

 

Having stones will get you far in dating. Having stones and not caring about outcomes will get you even farther.

 

Its beyond just looks [which plays a big part ] but im talking something that just turns women off

 

One of my friends also is horrible with women and while part of it is hes not attractive at all [ and ive heard women say how he is ugly so looks are a huge part] hes in decent shape but unattractive face: but when my friends wives talked about him they said beyond that theyres just something about him that turns them off or gives them a creepy vibe but its something intangible that they couldnt put their finger on its just his whole aura as a person

 

Something like that is damn near impossible to change or know how to.Its not like you can say get over your shyness or lose weight or dress better problems like that can be changed more easily because its somethign tangible thats turning women off

[somedude81]

There is often talk about the "20%" of men. I do agree, a small portion of men get the babes, but it's not because those men are the tallest, richest, best looking guys with the biggest penises. They are the men that made moves.

 

The difference between you, Somedude, and me, is the fact that I would walk up to the girl and get her number, while you were still sitting in the background planning for the perfect moment.

 

A lion doesn't wait for the perfect conditions to hunt prey. It sees prey and goes after it.

 

The quote I live by is "Fortune favors the bold". You want something, go after it.

 

Few men do that. The ones that do, are rewarded for it.

I've tried being bold. Guess the outcome.

 

Basically I've failed so many times I just don't have any faith in myself anymore, don't forget that I've had no success at all with girls.

 

I don't trust my judgement at all and I'm tired of failing. So I try to do things in way that I feel with have some chance of working. And then things happen to screw up the opportunities before I'm able to act once I finally decide to do something.

 

It's like I'm standing on a cliff high above the ocean. After a long period of time I finally get the nerve to jump and right before I make the move, the tide gets pulled in and the water is gone.

[iKING]

If you think none of us guys in the "confidence cult" have been where you guys have been, you're fooling yourselves.

 

We realized what was required to make changes in our life, and made them. Confidence is not going to be an end-all solution to your problems, it only enables you to have a chance in the first place.

 

If you go around with the attitude that you're not worth it, people are going to assume you're not worth it, and those who don't aren't going to want to spend time babying you.

 

This world takes no prisoners, stand up, stand tall, and be comfortable in your skin. You are the king of the world.

[MrCastle]

Somedude you have to realize though that conditions are almost never perfect. They're almost never ideal. You can't sit back and wait for things to be scripted perfectly.

 

You can be the guy who is a self proclaimed nerd who works with computers and wears graphic t-shirts and had an attractive woman proposition him for sex. You can be that guy and get laid once every 15 years, or you can go out, take your lumps, be confident, and believe that this will turn around. Eventually it will.

[PJKino]

If you think none of us guys in the "confidence cult" have been where you guys have been, you're fooling yourselves.

 

We realized what was required to make changes in our life, and made them. Confidence is not going to be an end-all solution to your problems, it only enables you to have a chance in the first place.

 

If you go around with the attitude that you're not worth it, people are going to assume you're not worth it, and those who don't aren't going to want to spend time babying you.

 

This world takes no prisoners, stand up, stand tall, and be comfortable in your skin. You are the king of the world.

 

No offense but women here have flirted with you just off your picture alone when you're a good looking dude while its not everything its sure makes life alot easier because it gets your foot in many more doors then us unattractive dudes and from their you just have to not f things up