Is the world trying to screw me over?!

[SmileFace]

Really? There is no difference?

 

I always thought it was embarrassing for a girl to be asked out when her friends are around, especially if the guy isn't some super cool dude.

 

I don't want to do anything to embarrass her, but if it doesn't matter, then I won't worry about it.

No the embarrassing part is if she tells you no.

You should be more worried about how you will feel being turned down in front of people.

If you don't think you are "cool" enough - why do you want to ask her out?

[fortyninethousand322]

No the embarrassing part is if she tells you no.

You should be more worried about how you will feel being turned down in front of people.

If you don't think you are "cool" enough - why do you want to ask her out?

 

Maybe he "hopes" he's cool enough, but thinks he isn't. Kind of like taking some junk from the garage to an appraiser in the hopes that you might have some valuable antiques.

[SmileFace]

Maybe he "hopes" he's cool enough, but thinks he isn't. Kind of like taking some junk from the garage to an appraiser in the hopes that you might have some valuable antiques.

Yes but all this self doubt and overthinking- i.e this whole damn thread... is so pointless.

 

I wouldn't put the idea that I am not cool enough for someone in my head.

[ThaWholigan]

Yes but all this self doubt and overthinking- i.e this whole damn thread... is so pointless.

 

I wouldn't put the idea that I am not cool enough for someone in my head.

I would ask what realistically does he feel he has to offer a GF currently. Then I would work towards adding the things I need to my life to be able to offer someone who wishes to date me.

 

I would add that on top of all the other advice I have given.

[somedude81]

No the embarrassing part is if she tells you no.

So it would be more embarrassing for her to have to tell me know in front of her friends?

 

Something just tells me that she'd be more likely to say no than if I asked her when she was alone.

You should be more worried about how you will feel being turned down in front of people.

Eh, I don't really care what they would think at all. Only her opinion of me matters and I'd just shrug of the rejection and not let it bother me till I get home.

If you don't think you are "cool" enough - why do you want to ask her out?

That's an odd question.

 

I could think I'm a horrible disgusting loser and still want to ask girls out.

[SmileFace]

So it would be more embarrassing for her to have to tell me know in front of her friends?

 

Something just tells me that she'd be more likely to say no than if I asked her when she was alone.

 

Eh, I don't really care what they would think at all. Only her opinion of me matters and I'd just shrug of the rejection and not let it bother me till I get home.

 

That's an odd question.

 

I could think I'm a horrible disgusting loser and still want to ask girls out.

Yes but it wouldn't be a good mindset to have. It wouldn't help you one bit - you need to think you are good enough for a girl and have something to offer.

 

Gosh, don't you read this on ls all the time?

[somedude81]

I would ask what realistically does he feel he has to offer a GF currently. Then I would work towards adding the things I need to my life to be able to offer someone who wishes to date me.

 

I would add that on top of all the other advice I have given.

Eh, as I'm not sure what girls want, it's pointless for me to think of the things I can offer.

 

I reckon I'm better off trying to meet the things they need. Frankly, I doubt there are many things a girl would want that I couldn't provide. It's almost like I want a challenge and an opportunity to prove myself.

Edited March 13, 2013 by somedude81

[normal person]

 

I reckon I'm better off trying to meet the things they need. Frankly, I doubt there are many things a girl would want that I couldn't provide.

 

Almost every girl wants a boyfriend with self confidence.

 

Do you have that?

[ThaWholigan]

Eh, as I'm not sure what girls want, it's pointless for me to think of the things I can offer.

 

I reckon I'm better off trying to meet the things they need. Frankly, I doubt there are many things a girl would want that I couldn't provide. It's almost like I want a challenge and an opportunity to prove myself.

Well let's forget about girls for a minute.....

 

What do you want in your life? What do you want to be able to offer a girl? What exactly is your life purpose or goal? Is there something you want to do with your life? How can I be more attractive?

 

Ask yourself those questions.

[CarrieT]

You've never taken part in a swinger party?

Yes, but they were swingers groups that stemmed out of Mensa so they were in the upper elite of intelligentsia. No, they weren't as attractive, but a lot of times, the parties had these separate rooms where folks were playing chess, debating philosophies, and have really interesting conversations!

[somedude81]

Almost every girl wants a boyfriend with self confidence.

 

Do you have that?

Well aren't you funny.

Well let's forget about girls for a minute.....

Ok, sure.

What do you want in your life? What do you want to be able to offer a girl?

Well that was fast

What exactly is your life purpose or goal? Is there something you want to do with your life? How can I be more attractive?

 

Ask yourself those questions.

That's the same thing as asking what I can offer a girl. The answer is too broad.

 

It's much easier to first find out what women want and then match what I can offer.

Yes, but they were swingers groups that stemmed out of Mensa so they were in the upper elite of intelligentsia. No, they weren't as attractive, but a lot of times, the parties had these separate rooms where folks were playing chess, debating philosophies, and have really interesting conversations!

Hah, genius swingers.

 

No, I never got involved with anything like that. Just normal horny people who weren't too discriminating. And I wasn't discriminating either.

[tbf]

Then just to make things worse, the two girls I want nothing to do with tried to call me over and give me a cupcacke or something but I told them I don't want to miss the bus. I think one or both like me or want to be my friend or something, either way I don't care. I was also in a bad mood and just wanted to go home.

So one or two girls want you and you have no options and the world is so negative?

[somedude81]

So one or two girls want you and you have no options and the world is so negative?

Answered on the first page

 

In a room of about 25 girls, they are among the top 3 least attractive girls in the class. Both girls are very obese.

 

When it comes to women I have very low standards. The only real dealbreaker I have is don't be obese. I also made a thread a while ago that obese women have been the only girls to ever be interested in me. So no, I can't see it as a plus that they are interested in me.

[tbf]

Answered on the first page

Where do I begin?

 

Not everyone believes that larger women are unattractive. That's just your deal breaker.

 

With the above in mind, how is your situation any different than other men or women who can't find partners? Most people have options including yourself. Instead of focusing on the downside of not being able to "acquire" the women you're attracted to and getting pissed off at the world, consider that you're attractive to some women and do have options, so now, it's just a matter of time before a mutual connection.

[fortyninethousand322]

There is a bright side to dating women you're not attracted to. For one, you don't have to worry about your own looks and you can kind of just let yourself go.

 

Obviously, if you're someone who tries to look good for yourself that's not much of a benefit. But, if you're somebody who doesn't care well then there you go.

[somedude81]

Where do I begin?

 

Not everyone believes that larger women are unattractive. That's just your deal breaker.

So what?

 

Nobody should have to date somebody who posses deal breakers regardless if they are struggling or not.

 

Or is there something else you meant?

With the above in mind, how is your situation any different than other men or women who can't find partners?

Most people are able to find partners.

 

Right now I'm in a very small minority group of people that aren't able to and suffering because of it.

 

 

Most people have options including yourself.

Would you consider men that disgust you to be options?

 

Instead of focusing on the downside of not being able to "acquire" the women you're attracted to and getting pissed off at the world, consider that you're attractive to some women and do have options, so now, it's just a matter of time before a mutual connection.

That sounds good in theory but what you are mistaking is the nature of obese women.

 

In my entire life, only obese girls have been interested in me. Why would you think that is?

[pharmmage]

So are you going to stay another year in college to get your degree since you dropped the math class?

[tbf]

So what?

 

Nobody should have to date somebody who posses deal breakers regardless if they are struggling or not.

 

Or is there something else you meant?

I'm not suggesting otherwise.

 

Most people are able to find partners.

Yes, the majority do end up with partners but also, the majority of people have relationship status fluctuations, sometimes single, other times in relationships.

 

Right now I'm in a very small minority group of people that aren't able to and suffering because of it.

Any idea why? How would you compare yourself to the average guy, personality and looks wise?

 

Would you consider men that disgust you to be options?

It's very rare that men disgust me physically, considering average looking and above men. Most often, the ones who disgust me are because of their personalities.

 

 

That sounds good in theory but what you are mistaking is the nature of obese women.

Do tell what weird theory you've developed about the nature of obese women.

 

In my entire life, only obese girls have been interested in me. Why would you think that is?

You tell me.

[somedude81]

I'm not suggesting otherwise.

 

Yes, the majority do end up with partners but also, the majority of people have relationship status fluctuations, sometimes single, other times in relationships.

Yes that's normal.

 

Which isn't is being single forever.

 

Any idea why? How would you compare yourself to the average guy, personality and looks wise?

Personality, I'd say I'm average but I'm probably not as aggressive as the average man. Which is a learned response from getting rejecting so frequently.

 

Looks, average, except for being 5'6.

 

It's very rare that men disgust me physically, considering average looking and above men. Most often, the ones who disgust me are because of their personalities.

For me, it's also rare that women disgust my physically. The only time it occurs is with very obese women.

 

I rather not explain why.

 

Do tell what weird theory you've developed about the nature of obese women.

 

You tell me.

I was hoping you would have an answer because you're a woman. All I have are my own theories which are mostly incorrect.

[tbf]

I was hoping you would have an answer because you're a woman. All I have are my own theories which are mostly incorrect.

Unfortunately, it's impossible to tell over a text based medium like the Internet. If I met you in real life, it would take a five minute conversation to get a bead on how you project yourself, particularly since I already have a conceptual feel of your underlying personality. Unless what you portray on LS, isn't anything like your real life personality.

[somedude81]

Unfortunately, it's impossible to tell over a text based medium like the Internet. If I met you in real life, it would take a five minute conversation to get a bead on how you project yourself, particularly since I already have a conceptual feel of your underlying personality. Unless what you portray on LS, isn't anything like your real life personality.

Why would how I project myself only be attractive to obese women?

 

That in itself is what's not making sense.

 

If obese women show interest in me, then surely non-obese women should as well.

[tbf]

Why would how I project myself only be attractive to obese women?

 

That in itself is what's not making sense.

 

If obese women show interest in me, then surely non-obese women should as well.

It's more likely your behaviour around women who are attractive to you, instead of women who aren't.

[dreamingoftigers]

Why would he be a creep? He already listed some positive traits right? Good hygiene, socially competant, nice dresser.

 

He'd only be a creep if he thought he was a creep.

 

I thought of a phrase that would apply universally to Loveshack:

 

"one woman's 'creep' is another woman's husband."

 

Creeps still get more girls than guys sitting by waiting for them to fall into his lap.

[TheBigQuestion]

Somedude, I'm going to ask a series of questions, and I think it would be pretty cool if you could answer them all to the best of your ability. It may not be obvious where I'm going with them at first, but I assure you that it will get somewhere. Although I don't post all that much, I'm sure you remember various instances in which certain forum regulars have piled on you for having a single physical dealbreaker, and I've been one of the posters to say to tell them that their outrage is misplaced, silly, and is usually expressed only for the purpose of insulting you rather than helping you. As someone who had many of the issues attracting the opposite sex as you did (albeit a very long time ago, before I more or less became "normal" as far as my dealings with the opposite sex are concerned), I actually very much want to help you out. I would also encourage you to heed what posters like ThaWholigan say as well. As much as you feel your gut instinct telling you to behave like a contrarian (I have the same impulse all the time), these guys are absolutely, 100% RIGHT.

 

1. Name all of your good personality traits, regardless of whether you think they would make you attractive to women.

 

2. What have you accomplished in your life, and is there anything you are sure you will accomplish in the near future? Again, don't think about whether your accomplishments will be attractive to women.

 

3. What are your faults? What, if anything, have you done to address them?

 

4. Describe your ideal self, within reason. If you found the energy to focus on self-improvement, what would a significantly improved version of yourself be like?

 

5. What is your ideal woman like? Focus on personality traits, but by all means describe her physically as well.

 

Almost every source on improving dating success worth its weight in gold (including SOME PUA material) emphasizes the need for a comprehensive self-assessment that focuses on everything BUT your romantic life (or lack thereof).

[Eclypse]

Asking her on a date via facebook isn't ideal but if its all you got it might work. That's how I got my girlfriend to go on a date with me. Granted though there was no way I could see her IRL to ask. I first noticed her at a wedding (although we'd met a few times before) and I decided to just add her on fb. Then we began chatting and after a few days I asked her to meet me in the city. The important thing is not to just blurt it right out "want to go out on a date with me?" You need to establish some sort of rapport first.