Is the world trying to screw me over?!

[MrCastle]

This needs to be a real thing. Both sexes would be better off.

 

[somedude81]

Hmm, if a girl isn't giving any signs that she's interested, is there any point in asking her out, or should I just ignore her?

 

We had some fun banter for a several classes a week or two ago but now I don't know. I really do wonder if she realized that I could be interested and she wants to avoid me now.

 

I talked to her after class but I almost felt like she was walking a little too fast to the bathroom to get rid of me.

Anybody have an opinion on my post?

 

I'd also like to point out that she's not even close to the cutest girl in the class but I really like her personality.

[AD1980]

I don't understand this one. Are you saying if the roles were reversed, women would give a man with a disfigured face the same chance as they would a man with a normal face?

 

How about instead of using fat women, or disfigured women as the counterpart to short men, we use--*gasp*...tall women.

 

To be fair es is a certified whacko

[MrCastle]

To be fair es is a certified whacko

 

No way she's my wonder from down under

[Mme. Chaucer]

You have to admit, some of the examples women use sometimes to explain their disdain for shorter men are a bit extreme. Which is why I think it's best to use the tall woman comparison. It's height related, most men aren't *looking* for taller women but may date one just like most women aren't looking for short men but may date one.

 

I don't think you understand. If a short man is standing before a woman and her response is: "I am not interested in him because he's short," that is NOT different from a fat woman standing before a man who's response to her is: "I am not interested in her because she's fat." BOTH people are being rejected, and neither one is being "given a chance" because they are a great human being and would be a super boy/girlfriend.

 

Sure, weight can be lost. This is not affecting the pain of the person who's getting rejected because they "aren't good enough" for the person they like. The person they like is not thinking "I'll give her a chance, because she'll lose weight."

 

At least, SD isn't. And that's why it's offensive to many that he feels thoroughly ENTITLED to a "chance" he's in no way willing to give others.

[somedude81]

Please stay on topic guys.

[MrCastle]

I don't think you understand. If a short man is standing before a woman and her response is: "I am not interested in him because he's short," that is NOT different from a fat woman standing before a man who's response to her is: "I am not interested in her because she's fat." BOTH people are being rejected, and neither one is being "given a chance" because they are a great human being and would be a super boy/girlfriend.

 

Sure, weight can be lost. This is not affecting the pain of the person who's getting rejected because they "aren't good enough" for the person they like. The person they like is not thinking "I'll give her a chance, because she'll lose weight."

 

At least, SD isn't. And that's why it's offensive to many that he feels thoroughly ENTITLED to a "chance" he's in no way willing to give others.

 

Yes but after enough pain and rejection the overweight person can put on "eye of the tiger" and start motivating themselves to drop the extra weight.

 

Short men can't decide "I'm tired of being short, I'm gonna start getting taller"

 

Anyone can get rejected at any time for physical flaws. I may have a bad breakout one week and cold approach girls and get shot down, because they don't want to date a pimple faced guy. A week later my skin has cleared up and is back to normal, my results may be different.

 

Most of the physical shortcomings people talk about can be changed. Height cannot.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Yes but after enough pain and rejection the overweight person can put on "eye of the tiger" and start motivating themselves to drop the extra weight.

 

Very true. But you're not a tall guy yourself, and you've given SD a LOT of suggestions about how to minimize the impact his height has on his dating prospects. He takes NONE of them, and stridently rejects all advice geared towards improving upon himself or changing his preconceived notions. In the big picture, this would be analogous (to me) to a fat person complaining for years about nobody liking him / her because they are a fat person - while eating their 2nd Boston creme pie of the morning.

 

Most of the physical shortcomings people talk about can be changed. Height cannot.

 

True, but the best we can do is to work with what we have. And maximize our strengths. Right?

[mesmerized]

Most of the physical shortcomings people talk about can be changed. Height cannot.

 

hmmm not really, unless you want to go through extensive plastic surgery. Even then, you will look "fake" and undesirable to many. Good genes are the most important things and unfortunately, only a small percentage of people have them. They're at the top of the food chain, for both sexes.

[HopelessRomantic76]

You have to admit, some of the examples women use sometimes to explain their disdain for shorter men are a bit extreme. Which is why I think it's best to use the tall woman comparison. It's height related, most men aren't *looking* for taller women but may date one just like most women aren't looking for short men but may date one.

 

I don't think we need stuff like "what if she was morbidly obese and needed to be cut out of her house?", "what if she was exposed to radiation and now has the scaly skin texture of an iguana", "what if her arms are where her legs should be and her legs are where her arms should be"

 

Why is it extreme? were trying to pain the picture of something that turns you off like short guys turn us off.

 

If short men are gonna act like there too good for fat and/or ugly women they will spend a lot of nights alone

[ThaWholigan]

This is getting off topic, so just to kill the derailment dead, a lot of short guys I know can get some very good looking women, so their height doesn't matter at the end of the day. If you let the protestations of others affect you there, you will always have problems accepting your height.

 

Let's stop with the short argument now.

[somedude81]

Hello!?

 

That's enough about short men and fat women.

[normal person]

Anybody have an opinion on my post?

 

I'd also like to point out that she's not even close to the cutest girl in the class but I really like her personality.

 

I wouldn't do it yet if I were you. If she hasn't given the slightest bit of indication that she's interested, it's more than likely a "no." I would first give her a reason to say yes via my personality, see if she's responsive or intrigued, then if she was, ask.

If I like a girl and she's not approaching me herself, I'll do what I can to make an impression on her. If she makes it clear that she likes what she sees, I'll take it a step further. It's a very safe way to play it with a very high success rate. I don't really ask girls out blindly, that just seems like a crapshoot to me. Some of the bolder guys here might say that's a dumb method but it works fine for me.

[Lonely Ronin]

I wouldn't do it yet if I were you. If she hasn't given the slightest bit of indication that she's interested, it's more than likely a "no." I would first give her a reason to say yes via my personality, see if she's responsive or intrigued, then if she was, ask.

If I like a girl and she's not approaching me herself, I'll do what I can to make an impression on her. If she makes it clear that she likes what she sees, I'll take it a step further. It's a very safe way to play it with a very high success rate. I don't really ask girls out blindly, that just seems like a crapshoot to me. Some of the bolder guys here might say that's a dumb method but it works fine for me.

 

This ^^

 

However SD, if you go this root, you must open up even though you don't want to.

[mortensorchid]

I had to read that seveal times to see what the real problem was. ANd to me, the real problem is that you are not making an approrpriate move towards the ones you do like. Why didn't you just go after that woman in the math lab that you wanted or the same in the dancing class? Instead you thought they had shunned you in some manner. Did it ever occur to you that they may not have thought of you in that way until YOU said something? You missed the boat, guy. And you missed it because you never said anything to either parties. I would say something to someone if you want to get a clear answer.

[SJC2008]

Get your ass out of school, get a job, your own place and then start to date. I know it's hard, I'm in the exact same position as you down to age and being in the last semester and summer school terms of school.

[HopelessRomantic76]

This is getting off topic, so just to kill the derailment dead, a lot of short guys I know can get some very good looking women, so their height doesn't matter at the end of the day. If you let the protestations of others affect you there, you will always have problems accepting your height.

 

Let's stop with the short argument now.

 

Because i see an arrogance and entitlement from short men these days that dumbfounds me

 

Why are they too good for fat women?

[MrCastle]

SD I also think you put too much focus on finding a girlfriend. It happens when it happens. What it seems you're looking for (serious relationship) cannot be worked towards. I am successful but still find the girl I want to settle down with to be elusive. You can't plan love.

[MrCastle]

Because i see an arrogance and entitlement from short men these days that dumbfounds me

 

Why are they too good for fat women?

 

Arogance and entitlement? Short men are entitled to date whoever they want.

 

Just because I'm short doesn't mean I have to date women I find physically unattractive. I'm a human being like everyone else.

 

If I want to date women 5'11, I'll do so.

[Mme. Chaucer]

OK. on topic:

 

 

I show up a few minutes late and she's not there. Thirty minutes later she shows up, she walks over to the seat next to me, I'm sitting by myself in a back row, I smile and say "Right on time" then she doesn't respond, looks to the front of the room and walks away to her girlfriends and sits next to them. Huh?

 

Perhaps because to many of us, the comment, "right on time" would be perceived as a profoundly annoying remark from a classmate. There was probably a reason why she was 30 minutes late - possibly an unpleasant one.

 

There is an exam tomorrow so she and her friends are doing math stuff. I wait till the end of class go over to their area and there is no chair in the spot next to her. Huh? Anyways I'm just wondering how I'm supposed to ask her out when she's with her friends doing math and I haven't even talked to her. At the end of class they always leave together and they are in the same class next.

 

They're DOING MATH STUFF??? In a MATH CLASS??? And there was NO CHAIR next to her??? The injustice of it all!

 

Regarding the rest of it - the stuff about her being with her friends - well, you probably don't get this, but people LIKE BEING WITH THEIR FRIENDS. Her friends are far more important to her than you are. No offense - but you aren't in her life. So, no. You are not "supposed" to ask her out when she's with her friends doing math stuff. That would be intrusive.

 

The girls I have absolutely no interest in come find me and talk to me for too long and they both want me to dance with them. I just wish they would leave me alone

 

the two girls I want nothing to do with tried to call me over and give me a cupcacke or something but I told them I don't want to miss the bus. I think one or both like me or want to be my friend or something, either way I don't care.

 

Maybe the girls you are targeting feel exactly this same way about you???

 

The dance changes to Bachata and I start to get happy knowing that I get to dance really close to her.

 

If she's not interested in you, and is picking up the vibe that you're trying to dance really close to her, that might engender flight on her part, as described below.

 

Then she leaves with her guy partner to the other side of the room. Huh? I have no idea why she moved and because she did, it meant that I would not be able to dance with her today Finally class ends, then she gets signed in by the instructor and she quickly leaves before I can say anything to her. Huh? Last Thursday I was able to get a last dance with her before she walked to her next class. Today she almost seemed to be avoiding me.

 

Really? She was always fun and smiles around me so I don't know what's going on.

 

Possibly she perceives your interest, does not reciprocate, so chooses to avoid you - exactly like you do with those girls who like YOU. Make sense?

 

Her next class was in 30 minutes so she shouldn't have been in a hurry.

 

Frankly, you don't even know her. Her schedule is none of your business. That is marginally creepy.

 

I've only gone to the last two math labs because of that girl. I could go again next week but it's getting harder to explain my presence since I'm not even in the class or taking the tests.

 

^^^^

 

Marginally creepy. Maybe more than marginally.

 

I'll see the other girl on Thursday but I don't know what to do about her. I need to time things right and my location in the room so I can talk to her and avoid the people I don't want to see.

 

The thought of a guy furtively dodging around a room does not promote sexy or romantic feelings in girls ...

[ThaWholigan]

Because i see an arrogance and entitlement from short men these days that dumbfounds me

 

Why are they too good for fat women?

Why is anyone too good for anyone? Why should anyone have to date someone they aren't attracted to?

 

My bro certainly doesn't, neither does MrCastle - nor does any other short guy I know. They do just fine. As far as I'm concerned it's better than them sitting in loveless relationships feeling miserable. I'm sure it's no picnic for any percievably undesirable women either. I am of the opinion that attraction is subjective anyway.

[MrCastle]

Why is anyone too good for anyone? Why should anyone have to date someone they aren't attracted to?

 

My bro certainly doesn't, neither does MrCastle - nor does any other short guy I know. They do just fine.

 

It seems like what she means is, short guys should say "I'm short, so in the eyes of women, I am unattractive. Because of this, I can only date women who are also considered to be unattractive."

 

How dare I date women I find physically attractive! The nerve! The arrogance!

[Mme. Chaucer]

It's completely righteous for everyone to date people who they find attractive. Nobody is required to "give a chance" to someone they don't feel attracted to. This includes fat people, ugly ones, tall women, short men, poor, jobless, homeless people, me, you, SD, and the girls he's crushing on at school.

 

Some are disposed to chance-giving without any attraction. That's nice, but nobody needs to feel guilty or mean if they're not one of them.

[Archgirl]

Wow there is a lot of short guy moaning on this site. I don't get it, women don't care about height. They care about moaning.

More specifically, men who can make them moan.

Whining is not hot.

Sorry op, but all the women telling you you are acting really creepy are spot on. It wouldn't matter if you were 6'0"

[somedude81]

Thanks nromal person for getting things back on track

I wouldn't do it yet if I were you. If she hasn't given the slightest bit of indication that she's interested, it's more than likely a "no." I would first give her a reason to say yes via my personality, see if she's responsive or intrigued, then if she was, ask.

Yeah right now if I do ask her out I expect her to say no, which sucks.

 

How can I give her a reason to say yes?

 

When we did interact before it really seemed like she was having fun. I'm not sure what else to do.

 

If I like a girl and she's not approaching me herself, I'll do what I can to make an impression on her. If she makes it clear that she likes what she sees, I'll take it a step further. It's a very safe way to play it with a very high success rate. I don't really ask girls out blindly, that just seems like a crapshoot to me. Some of the bolder guys here might say that's a dumb method but it works fine for me.

The only girls that ever approach me first are the kinds I'm not interested in. Also I'm not even sure if they like me or just want to be friends. I'm not at all skilled on reading girls.

 

 

I'd love to be able to make a good impression on her.

This ^^

 

However SD, if you go this root, you must open up even though you don't want to.

He didn't say anything about opening up. Not that I have any issue at all opening up girls.

I had to read that seveal times to see what the real problem was. ANd to me, the real problem is that you are not making an approrpriate move towards the ones you do like. Why didn't you just go after that woman in the math lab that you wanted or the same in the dancing class? Instead you thought they had shunned you in some manner. Did it ever occur to you that they may not have thought of you in that way until YOU said something? You missed the boat, guy. And you missed it because you never said anything to either parties. I would say something to someone if you want to get a clear answer.

My own negative thinking.

 

Yeah I haven't made any sort of move with the girls and I'm just testing the waters.

 

This thread got completely side-tracked and that point forgotten. Thanks for bringing it up.

SD I also think you put too much focus on finding a girlfriend. It happens when it happens. What it seems you're looking for (serious relationship) cannot be worked towards. I am successful but still find the girl I want to settle down with to be elusive. You can't plan love.

Love? What is love?

 

Dude I don't care about love or serious relationships.

 

I just want to have a girl I can hang out with one or twice a week and occasionally have sex with.

 

Anything more than that is extra. If a girl wants to keep things causal like that, great. If a girl wants to make things serious and be BF and GF, great.

 

Perhaps because to many of us, the comment, "right on time" would be perceived as a profoundly annoying remark from a classmate. There was probably a reason why she was 30 minutes late - possibly an unpleasant one.

I was just trying to make a joke.

 

Maybe I offended her. I don't know.

 

Regarding the rest of it - the stuff about her being with her friends - well, you probably don't get this, but people LIKE BEING WITH THEIR FRIENDS. Her friends are far more important to her than you are. No offense - but you aren't in her life. So, no. You are not "supposed" to ask her out when she's with her friends doing math stuff. That would be intrusive.

That's exactly why I didn't want to bug her.

 

It would be great if you could stop trying to be a smart ass and actually think about why I write what I do.