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The "Cool" Factor in Dating


MrCastle

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I know, and usually I just let them go, but this one was so perfect!!

 

Like my grammar error in my post pointing out another's error? :laugh:

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Your first statement above can be seen to some as trying too hard

 

Because I strive to be different though? Better? Rise above the rest?

 

Peyton Manning eats sleeps and breathes football. Spends his free time watching tapes in the off season, going over plays, and when training camp starts, he is the first on the field and the last to leave. Is he "trying too hard" because he wants his second ring? Because he wants to go down as one of the best?

 

Or for the sake of argument, if I am trying too hard, is that a bad thing?

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The reasons to be potentially wary of somebody overly "cool":

 

1. In my experience, "cool" is intertwined with being "macho." And "tough" guys display a lack of empathy towards the less fortunate and sometimes women (whether it's just an act is another question).

 

2. Sometimes "cool" people are social-climbers. They are smooth-talkers and charming, like politicians. In order to be cool, they are willing to overlook the questionable behavior of their social allies. They may also be less willing to go against the flow in order to stand up for the little guy.

 

Now these 2 attributes may not always be true, but I've seen some of this.

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HoneyBadgerDontCare
Because I strive to be different though? Better? Rise above the rest?

 

Peyton Manning eats sleeps and breathes football. Spends his free time watching tapes in the off season, going over plays, and when training camp starts, he is the first on the field and the last to leave. Is he "trying too hard" because he wants his second ring? Because he wants to go down as one of the best?

 

Or for the sake of argument, if I am trying too hard, is that a bad thing?

 

I don't get the Peyton Manning analogy. Are you saying that you're trying to be as good with girls as Peyton Manning is at football?

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The reasons to be potentially wary of somebody overly "cool":

 

1. In my experience, "cool" is intertwined with being "macho." And "tough" guys display a lack of empathy towards the less fortunate and sometimes women (whether it's just an act is another question).

 

2. Sometimes "cool" people are social-climbers. They are smooth-talkers and charming, like politicians. In order to be cool, they are willing to overlook the questionable behavior of their social allies. They may also be less willing to go against the flow in order to stand up for the little guy.

 

Now these 2 attributes may not always be true, but I've seen some of this.

 

I don't know. To your second point, I think that is the complete opposite of "cool". The "cool" guy does what he wants, not what's popular. That's part of what makes him "cool". Part of what makes cool people cool is their going against the grain when other people are followers. Cool people are leaders, not followers.

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Because I strive to be different though? Better? Rise above the rest?

 

Peyton Manning eats sleeps and breathes football. Spends his free time watching tapes in the off season, going over plays, and when training camp starts, he is the first on the field and the last to leave. Is he "trying too hard" because he wants his second ring? Because he wants to go down as one of the best?

 

Or for the sake of argument, if I am trying too hard, is that a bad thing?

 

That is Peytons job. That is how he makes a living. Big difference.

 

It is only a bad thing if it is noticeable, IMO.

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I don't get the Peyton Manning analogy. Are you saying that you're trying to be as good with girls as Peyton Manning is at football?

 

Yes. Yes I am.

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Just for the sake of the thread:

 

Cool

 

Neither warm nor very cold; moderately cold: fresh

 

My opinion is that the desirable characteristics are more-so of a hero/heroine.

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HoneyBadgerDontCare
The reasons to be potentially wary of somebody overly "cool":

 

1. In my experience, "cool" is intertwined with being "macho." And "tough" guys display a lack of empathy towards the less fortunate and sometimes women (whether it's just an act is another question).

 

2. Sometimes "cool" people are social-climbers. They are smooth-talkers and charming, like politicians. In order to be cool, they are willing to overlook the questionable behavior of their social allies. They may also be less willing to go against the flow in order to stand up for the little guy.

 

Now these 2 attributes may not always be true, but I've seen some of this.

 

Woah woah woah. I take offense to your number 2. I'm as smooth-talking as they come IRL, but I'm no a** kisser. In fact, I often deliberately break the rules just to make a point.

 

Then I charm my way back into people's good graces. Mwahahahaha! :cool:

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Woah woah woah. I take offense to your number 2. I'm as smooth-talking as they come IRL, but I'm no a** kisser. In fact, I often deliberately break the rules just to make a point.

 

Then I charm my way back into people's good graces. Mwahahahaha! :cool:

 

It's a Jersey thing..

 

I mean a Arizona thing..

 

:laugh:

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It's a Jersey thing..

 

I mean a Arizona thing..

 

:laugh:

 

Nah, it's a New York thing.

 

Castle knows.

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No. I live in California.

 

But I'm from New York.

 

Cali kids have that same factor though, I've spent a chunk of my life in cali.

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Cali kids have that same factor though, I've spent a chunk of my life in cali.

 

I think California is the best state, New York is the best city.

 

LA is meh, but Cali as a whole. Big Sur, all the other parks and beaches, are just fantastic, and the people were super friendly.

 

NYC is incredible, for a hipster, super liberal creative type like me.

 

Outside of NYC = :sick:

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I don't know. To your second point, I think that is the complete opposite of "cool". The "cool" guy does what he wants, not what's popular. That's part of what makes him "cool". Part of what makes cool people cool is their going against the grain when other people are followers. Cool people are leaders, not followers.
OK then you're the real cool. :) There are a lot of weaker people who think they're cool.
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HoneyBadgerDontCare
I think California is the best state, New York is the best city.

 

LA is meh, but Cali as a whole. Big Sur, all the other parks and beaches, are just fantastic, and the people were super friendly.

 

NYC is incredible, for a hipster, super liberal creative type like me.

 

Outside of NYC = :sick:

 

Agreed. I left NY because I hate the cold.

 

Where do you usually go out, Castle? Have you ever been to Pacha or Webster Hall?

 

I spent most of my time in the lower east side.

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I think California is the best state, New York is the best city.

 

LA is meh, but Cali as a whole. Big Sur, all the other parks and beaches, are just fantastic, and the people were super friendly.

 

NYC is incredible, for a hipster, super liberal creative type like me.

 

Outside of NYC = :sick:

 

Cali is my home. Love it there.

 

LA, no thank you, there's some parts of SoCal I like and some I don't

 

NYC isn't bad, just holy hectic.

 

Outside of NYC, yeah you lost me, only been to NYC.

 

Ironically my family is from NY/Cali, and yet somehow I ended up in AZ..

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Agreed. I left NY because I hate the cold.

 

Where do you usually go out, Castle? Have you ever been to Pacha or Webster Hall?

 

I spent most of my time in the lower east side.

 

LES is where all the beatnik hippies are haha. I only go there if I'm in the mood for hookah, but I have not been in the mood for hookah in quite some time.

 

My best friend lives in SoHo, that's usually where I stay. Chelsea piers, greenwich village, etc etc. Lower west side ;)

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HoneyBadgerDontCare
Cali is my home. Love it there.

 

LA, no thank you, there's some parts of SoCal I like and some I don't

 

NYC isn't bad, just holy hectic.

 

Outside of NYC, yeah you lost me, only been to NYC.

 

Ironically my family is from NY/Cali, and yet somehow I ended up in AZ..

 

Haha I think we're all in agreement about LA. I'm in the Santa Barbara area currently.

 

Where in AZ do you live? When I was driving here from NY, I stopped off in Phoenix/Scottsdale. Definitely a place I could see myself living if/when I get out of the military.

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HoneyBadgerDontCare
LES is where all the beatnik hippies are haha. I only go there if I'm in the mood for hookah, but I have not been in the mood for hookah in quite some time.

 

My best friend lives in SoHo, that's usually where I stay. Chelsea piers, greenwich village, etc etc. Lower west side ;)

 

Haha word. I loved those NYU chicks though. ;)

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I don't know. To your second point, I think that is the complete opposite of "cool". The "cool" guy does what he wants, not what's popular. That's part of what makes him "cool". Part of what makes cool people cool is their going against the grain when other people are followers. Cool people are leaders, not followers.

 

I agree. I always thought cool was someone who does his own thing without seeking the approval of others. You do your thing, at your own pace and are comfortable about it. Not necessarily a smooth talker of an a** kisser, but the way you approach people catches them off guard. Someone who keeps his emotions in check.

 

 

Although from my experience there is a downfall for being "too cool". Ive had friends tell me I seemed aloof when they first met me. There was even this girl that said she was afraid to talk to me because she felt "she wasnt good enough for me". Big surprise on that one when I bumped into her when I flew back home for a vacation.

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Haha I think we're all in agreement about LA. I'm in the Santa Barbara area currently.

 

Where in AZ do you live? When I was driving here from NY, I stopped off in Phoenix/Scottsdale. Definitely a place I could see myself living if/when I get out of the military.

 

Santa Barbara is nice.

 

I'm in Mesa, moving back to Scottsdale in the next month.

 

Avoid Mesa and Phoenix, it is insanity, straight insanity.

 

Scottsdale is pretty nice, full of liberal high-class women, lots of wealth, some douchery, and a good lot of a nightlife. :laugh:

 

Stick to Chandler, Scottsdale, or Tempe (Next to ASU, huge hot spot there) if you come.

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