Author jerryinva Posted September 11, 2004 Author Share Posted September 11, 2004 Well....the attempt at dating the 38 year old car saleswoman failed tonight...she emailed me and said she was too busy with family, work, and her son to get to know anybody new. 3rd attempt in the last two weeks to at least try to get women to hang out with me...all have failed. Meanwhile...ex was going to take her ex-fiance on a trip next weekend...and has now decided to change/cancel the trip because they are not doing well.. Her and I had a huge fight...and she wants space.. Link to post Share on other sites
Kizzyfur Posted September 11, 2004 Share Posted September 11, 2004 Your posts scream "DESPIRATE". If you're coming across in person like you do on here, it's no wonder you're having a hard time finding someone. Also you HAVE to ditch the ex. You can't commit yourself to finding someone new until you're over her. And you're never going to allow yourself to be over her as long as you're still trying to be with her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jerryinva Posted September 11, 2004 Author Share Posted September 11, 2004 Well... wanting space...and ignoring me is sure going accomplish that, now isn't it? We have had no contact since 4 pm yesterday, and I am sure she is loving it... Link to post Share on other sites
InLimbo2 Posted September 11, 2004 Share Posted September 11, 2004 I have been reading your posts for months now. First off, less than 24hrs no phone call is NOT a whole lotta time, especially for just friends. You are wasting YOUR life analyzing every second of what she's doing, who she's with, etc. Second off, if you can't see clearly about how this woman behaves in romantic relationships (which you can't evidently by your posts), at least see what kind of mother she is. She's running different men in and out of her kid's life like she's trying on shoes. What kind of decent person/woman/mother/parent does that? My ex and I broke up 8+ years ago -- my kids have met 3 men in that time, all whom I thought was "the one" - including my current boyfriend of almost a year. You don't do this to kids - cuz if you do - you end up with kids more messed up than you are! Third, you analyze too much - if you could step back and look at it obejectively - you'd see that she is a very messed up person and every time you even think about stepping away she drags you right back into her f**ked up world and drama. And she can only do it because you let her. As Dear Abby said "a person can only abuse you if you let them". Don't think for a second what this woman does is NOT abuse, it is - emotional, mental, spiritual. If you are that into abuse - find a professional - cheaper, neater, and more careful with you. You should have more self-respect than to put up with this - if you don't respect yourself, nobody else will. Evidenced by the other women you make half-hearted attempts to involve yourself with. They smell the desperation and low self-esteem a mile away. Fourth, stop listening to what your folks have to say on the issue. They have a bias - that's fact. Plus, please don't get offended - but your self esteem sucks and you have very warped ideas about love, relationships, and personal boundaries - you didn't acquire them in a vacuum. Seek the advice of a professional instead. Fifth, read and actually start heeding the advice of people here. You read it and then rationalize it against all sorta stuff so that you can keep going in this drama. Why not give our way a try? Yours sure hasn't worked! The old saying - if you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten". YOu can't change her behavior, only yours. WHen she asks a personal question that you know it bait, just say "why do you ask?" and repeat over and over (credit to Dear Abby). Hang up the phone first. Don't call her. When she baits you re all these other men, ignore it and say "oops, gotta go - headed to the gym" and hang up. Cut off your cell, your phone, your email, and IM - go outside and take a walk, read a book, take a nap. Distract yourself and start living your life. Don't let her drama drag you back in. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jerryinva Posted September 11, 2004 Author Share Posted September 11, 2004 We actually hung out for a little today...and we did ok... he called 4 times, in 20 minutes, which I know irritates her..but she got past that quickly... Then the ex-fiance called..and wanted to know if she wanted a bite to eat...she had to tell him no. She had just eaten with me...and was on the way to the new guy's house to hang out. She said..."that hurt." And to top it off...while we were in line at a grocery store...the cashier commented she wouldn't have to card me...she told her, since she was hanging out with a geezer...because I hadn't shaved in a couple of days...and there is a little gray in my facial hair...that stung...really... Link to post Share on other sites
InLimbo2 Posted September 11, 2004 Share Posted September 11, 2004 Several men are strung along, some are hurt, all 3 anxiously await their lil slice of time with her if she deems them worthy, and who's going happily along in their day eating up all that attention and drama? She is the only constant thread in this Springer Show. You do this to yourself when you are in contact with her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jerryinva Posted September 12, 2004 Author Share Posted September 12, 2004 Well...tomorrow will be a no contact day... Tomorrow they are going to church with her dad, and then they are all having brunch together... I am sure dad will be ok with it... even if the guy is 2 years older than her dad... Link to post Share on other sites
lost_in_chgo Posted September 12, 2004 Share Posted September 12, 2004 lol, the only no contact you are practicing is when she isn't calling you. If you can't even go a week without talking to her you aren't doing no contact Link to post Share on other sites
Author jerryinva Posted September 12, 2004 Author Share Posted September 12, 2004 Well...all I know is that they are in church together, her, her stepmom, her daughter and him... And since this guy worked in the same federal department at one time as her dad..I am sure he has already scored points. I think my point was, I am not calling her today, tomorrow, the next day...period... and I really don't want to hear how well church, brunch and whatever the three of them decide to do...goes today... Link to post Share on other sites
prevch Posted September 12, 2004 Share Posted September 12, 2004 you are in a lot of pain it is plain to see that but you have to let go. I am really sorry I know how hard it is Link to post Share on other sites
Author jerryinva Posted September 13, 2004 Author Share Posted September 13, 2004 The ex actually asked me to go with her to the Improv..and one of the guys she had been seeing was there. I think she wanted to see him perform, but didn't want to go alone. There was one awkward moment when one of the comedians asked if anyone in the audience had children..looked at me, I shook my head no, she shook her head yes, but then we both pointed to each other when he asked if it was ours together..and shook our heads..at which he made some comment about being a loser...directed at me. After the show, she stopped and talked to him...introduced me...they chatted for a minute, and then we left. She told me afterward there was a little twinge, but she really felt nothing. Oddly enough, she wore her engagement ring, which I guess he let her keep (Odd?) So she feels nothing for the comedian, or her ex-fiance...which means she is really into the 54 year old. And church/brunch must have gone well..as good as a mood she was in... Link to post Share on other sites
lost_in_chgo Posted September 13, 2004 Share Posted September 13, 2004 Think I'm not going to talk to her for a week instead of I'm not going to call her for a week Link to post Share on other sites
Author jerryinva Posted September 13, 2004 Author Share Posted September 13, 2004 An interesting and valid point... Link to post Share on other sites
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