I am confused on what to do.....

[backspn]

Nothing has changed much since my last post. She still calls me everyday, I never call her, she calls me. When we talk we talk about her day and mine, nothing out of the ordinary. Just a recap.....I am 29 and she is 21. We were the best of friends and much more. We discussed everything from when we were going to get married, the names of our kids, to where we were going to live. Everything went well between us but her dad did not approve of her being with someone that much older. I never cheated on her and I treated her like a princess. I was her rock. We had a long distance relationship for almost a year before the split (I lived 40 miles away). We would talk on the phone every night for about 3 hours while we watch the same TV show. After the split, she met a guy, who was her age and that ended badly about a month after that. She seemed happy to hang out with her friends cause they were so jealous of her being with him. I've know him and he cant give anything that I cant give her. So far I have been the only one who can last more than 6 months with her. We were together for 3 years, we separated last April. She contacts me everyday since then and some nights we fall asleep on the phone together. We are now live in the same city but going to different schools. I know she is busy but would she be too busy to hang out? What would be her reason to not hang out? I want more from her but I dont know where to begin. Do you think the age thing is a big deal? Would it keep her from wanting to be with me? I am really confused and looking for some kind of hope.

[lovefool15]

Hey,

 

I don't believe the age thing is a big deal. If you love the person age means nothing. It is obvious that she doesnt think its a big deal either, as she contacts you so often and it sounds like you have such a special bond/ relationship. It may, however be that her dad is in her ear telling her that you are too old for her.

 

She is only 21, she prob doesnt want to be too tied down or get married so early in life. 'We discussed everything from when we were going to get married, the names of our kids, to where we were going to live'

 

U are 29, you are ready to settle down, I think you just need to accustomise to the things she is going through at her stage of life. By the sounds of it you have been the main man in her life, prob the only one. She just needs some time to see if there are other men out there. However it does sound like she would come back to you time after time. Maybe her dad has forbidden her to see you, whatever the reason you need to ask her the questions that are bothering you or your relationship will go no where, for only she knows the answers.

 

Hope some of this helps, goodluck.

[backspn]

Thanks for the help. I am wondering if a 30 day "time-out"/ no phone calls would work in my case? Or would she realize on her own what she has in me by me just being there for her? I've always heard that "absence makes the heart grow fonder". Is this really the case or would I be risking everything?

[lovefool15]

Of course it is a risk, but in most cases no contact does make the other person realise what they are missing out on. Im not sure if I would tell her that you cant talk for 30 days, you could maybe just say you are really busy every time she calls you - limit the time you talk to her.

[backspn]

I am really confused and would like to know what to do. I want to do this tonight but I have doubts about the outcome. I am considering taking a month no contact with my ex. I want to see how she reacts to this and to work on myself. I am worried that she could react negatively to this and it could hurt our relationship as friends. I want to see how much she thinks of me and misses me. I know that after the no contact that we will have to start over as friends. I know we are friends now but will the time make her realize of life without me? Can we make it work if we stay in contact? I know Im jibbering but I am so scared and confused.