smile95 Posted September 7, 2004 Share Posted September 7, 2004 I dated a guy for 2 yrs and we planned on getting married as soon as he was divorced. He lived apart fro and was legally sep from his wife. Last mointh suddenly he started not taking my calls, emails, nothing! It was a month and i found out he does not live in the apt anymore? Who knows where he lives? I think he went back to his wife. He was torn up about fiv since it meant losing his son....do guys truly go back just for the kids? Even if the are not happy? This kills me. He did not even tell me anything after 2 yrs??? I am lost? I hate him for this. He knows how hurt i am and will not tell me if he lives with her or got a place of his own? He used to live with 2 roomates and i thought maybe to look better dor custody he got his own place, but my guy says he went home. I feel so used and rejected. It was finally coming down to the divorce coming thru! And now this. I am left in limbo. Any suggestions on what to do. Speaking to him is out...he will not talk to me? help-do i move on? I feel so unwanted now. Like he chose the son over me......i guess i would too if it were my son, but I would have told the other person who was waiting for me all this time! Link to post Share on other sites
joodee Posted September 7, 2004 Share Posted September 7, 2004 Ouch, I feel for you, that is not a good place to be, and a little scary, cause my "separated" man lives on his own and keeps saying he'll file for divorce...but no action...this is really making me think, more than ever.... How was he going to lose his son? In any case, I say do what you can to get over him and MOVE ON. If he tries to contact you, don't take his calls, don't take his e-mails, anything. Find someone who is truly available and really wants to be with you no matter what. Married and separated folks really need to put closure on their respective relationships before taking up with someone else. The ones that don't are holding on to something and/or keeping their options open, and that is a very unsafe place to be for the single one that wants to be loved. There is always a chance that they'll go back to their spouse...and leave their spouse again...and go back....a sad cycle, isn't it? Hope this makes sense. Remember you are worth more. Link to post Share on other sites
Author smile95 Posted September 7, 2004 Author Share Posted September 7, 2004 Thanks-i do not believe I will ever hear from him again. Not even a word to explain. He kept saying that is was taking so long casue they could not agree...i see now that was a lie. I know he will never call me again. He prob does not want to admit he went back. He knows we were done if he did. Ir was ok when he was sep and living apart, not like this though. I am done. I hope I am not jumpong top conclusions, but what elsecould it be? He was not going to lose his son, but limited visits. He always wanted everyday with him and going back is the only way he could. This sucks. I trusted him. I always had weird gut feelings, but he talked me out of them. I cannot believed how I was fooled. EVERYONE BE CAREFUL Link to post Share on other sites
Karlise13 Posted September 8, 2004 Share Posted September 8, 2004 I feel for you, I really do. However, never underestimate what people will do for their children. I mean you say 'just for the kids?' like it's inconsequential. People may have TREMENDOUS feeling for their children. I knew men who stayed in horrible marriages for over 15 years because they didn't want to become 'weekend' dads. So it's possible he went back for the kids. Or maybe not. Perhaps something shady is going on. In any event, I hope you heal from this and can move on. Link to post Share on other sites
1money3 Posted September 8, 2004 Share Posted September 8, 2004 I say move on. Whether he married you or not, his son should be more important. This is an extension of him. There could have been a child custody reason why he went back. Maybe, she threaten to move with heir child (just an assumption). However, do not wait for him. You need to find happiness for yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author smile95 Posted September 8, 2004 Author Share Posted September 8, 2004 I know his son is important. I believe he should be #1, but I would have understood better if he explained why he moved back(if he did?) I think after 2 yrs of waiting, I deserve a conversation. I do need to move on. It is so hard to erase all our future plans. I know he was not crazy about only getting to see his son 2x a week and said it killed him to drop him off. Maybe he did do it for his son. Thanks all. I still need to move on with no hope of him coming back. There is part of me that is confused? She had a restraining order on him and they were sep almost 3 yrs...would he really go back?? Would she really let him? He said they really did not get along and were like bro and sis. Well, so he said. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted September 8, 2004 Share Posted September 8, 2004 I think you were being played. I think, that he was waiting all this time to get back with his wife (who had the restraining order against him!!!) and when she finally broke down and let him back, he cut you off. I wouldn't take phone calls from him, nor would I contact him. Again. It's too easy for you to be the easy p*ssy he runs to when he screws up his other life. Link to post Share on other sites
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