I have an inferiority complex?

[mike1988]

I feel that my life no longer has any chance of success, or atleast meaningful success.

 

I graduated high school and never worked. My focus was on the Military. I took many ASVAB tests (I needed an extra high score since my charter high school diploma was considered tier 2) and finally I just enrolled in three months of college to attend and pass five college courses. I did that too. I began enlisting in the U.S. Air Force in July 2008, and finally entered the D.E.P. on March 18, 2009. I left for Basic Military Training on November 9, 2009. I completed all of training, but in the middle of the 8th and final week of training, I collapsed on the track while running, and was put into a medical hold, where it was later determined that I had a "PFO", which is when the small hole that people have in their hearts when they are born isn't 100% closed. 30% of adults in the United States have it, and mine is not significant enough to require surgery or to cause any long-term or even short-term pain. However, the fact that it exists is an automatic disqualification that did not allow me to continue to serve in the United States Air Force.

 

Nevertheless, just serving four months taught me a lot, and gave me a once in a lifetime life experience, and even more respect for what people who serve America in the Armed Forces do.

 

In the time since then, I've worked as a waiter. People I wait on like me, for the most part, and some have mentioned I should go to school for business, management, ect. But with a father who was a Police Officer and my envy of men in uniform, authoritative jobs, and my clean record, I have zero interest in those jobs. I know I have zero chance to become a police officer, with medical waivers and all the tests and physical agility required nowadays. So I am in a rut. What do I do with my life?

 

I love weather, meteorology. But...that won't make me happy. When I go to a store and see a man in uniform and see everyone's eyes turn to him and sexy women smile at him...THAT USED TO BE ME. I had that for a brief moment and now it's gone forever. Being a businessman, a meteorologist, anything...will never make up for that loss.

 

No matter what I imagine doing, it's as though I've seen the top of the mountain already and no matter what I do, I will never be as distinguished as I was. I will never be a man in uniform again. Never be in a respected position of authority. Never be President of the United States. I feel mediocre and to me that's unacceptable. How can I ever even try to date when deep down I know I'm mediocre?

 

When all else fails I try and date or sleep with a girl and I don't even orgasm (unless I do it myself, but that is likely due to over usage of porn). So even the fail-safe of getting laid doesn't make me happy. How can I ever imagine falling in love and getting married when I'm an average nobody? I could've been somebody. I used to be.

 

I'm looking for advice. Please. Any thoughts? Perhaps I have an inferiority complex?

 

I am 6 ft tall, 150 lbs and a redhead with a deep voice.

ME: http://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/538360_10152605948975061_1702656520_n.jpg

Edited March 14, 2013 by mike1988

[hppr]

What I have found about being an adult is that you start with lots of dreams, I'm gonna be successful/macho/cool job and eventually find yourself someplace totally different than you expected (I wanted to be a pilot fwiw).

 

I don't see why you couldn't be a cop if you wanted it bad enough, their physical fitness tests aren't hard. Just need to work out that much harder to get in shape. However I do think you want to be a cop for all the wrong reasons, like you wanna be a big man and you think the uniform will make that happen. All that means is one more ***hole in Ray-Bans writing speeding tickets for 5mph over the limit. Take another year or two, get in better shape, get your ducks in a row for the medical stuff, maybe do some ride-alongs or work part time as an extra set of hands at the police station and then re-apply.

 

PS - I made it through Air Force physical regs with a hole in my heart and served 4 years enlisted.

Edited March 16, 2013 by hppr