Infomercials Posted March 14, 2013 Share Posted March 14, 2013 Hi all, I have another thread on the "coping" forum, but I don't know how to link it in here. My ex-fiance and I have been here before. We love each other deeply. He feels that since we've been together since were seventeen, he doesn't know who he is without me, and he wants to find that out. I fully and completely respect that decision and think that it's actually a very mature thing for him to do. I know I have some of those same feelings, but I never felt that I wanted to leave. He feels as though he won't ever really know who he is unless he's alone for a time. Again, I fully respect his decision, and although this is the saddest thing I've ever experienced, I don't want to make mistakes that could ruin any chance we have in the future. I've heard a lot about NC and all, but I'm not quite sure if I'm going to be able to do that quite yet. I will miss him as a lover, yes, but he's also my best friend. I can't imagine a day without him. As silly as some people think it is, I believe in soul mates, and I feel that he is mine. Maybe there are other people out there who I could feel this way with again, but I'm just not sure. More than anything else, I'm afraid to lose the closest connection I have with another human being. Sort of related, I struggle with severe anxiety issues and obsessive compulsive disorder. He's the only one I've ever confided in besides a medical professional. He helps me through this and keeps me sane...this is something I have been working on, but it is still an issue for me. I try to resist the obsessions and compulsions, but the only thing that makes them go away is giving in to them. Normally, it's pretty harmless...quadruple checking my alarm clock, that the door is closed, etc. I'm feeling it with wanting to talk to him now, and I'm not sure I'm capable of not doing it. He's coming over tomorrow night (I know this may not be the best idea, but he needs to get most of his things, and we need to work through some of our financial stuff), but I just can't shake the feeling of needing him. I'm focusing my brain on the fact that I'm seeing him tomorrow, and that's the only thing that's going to get me out of bed and to work tomorrow morning. I know that was a lot, and this might not be the exact right place for it, but I appreciate any advice or experience anyone could share with me. Link to post Share on other sites
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