Perfect guy with one flaw....

[Kimberly]

well my problem is a little difficult to explain...

 

i have been going out with my boyfriend for 8 months and he's been absolutely wonderful. he's sweet and romantic and funny, an all around good person except one problem... he lies. not big lies but small little white lies that are absolutely pointless. the lies he tells are idiotic and he doesn't keep track off what he says because he will contradict himself time and time again. i have tried to confront him when he does contradict himself and he turns it all around on me saying it's not true and i have to believe him because i have the SHORTEST memory of all time... i'm young yet i can't remember things perfectly enough to continue the fight.

 

i have talked to him about it and he cried and has explained to me that it is a problem he has had all his life and nobody trusts him not even his own parents... he's also told me that he's tried several things like counselling and moving to the town where i lived (i'll get to the "lived" in a secod) to start fresh. nothing has worked...

 

well in the beginning he has told me many things like he was very very rich (millions even) yet he lives on the reserve and his parents work just like everyone else... he's also told me that his father beats his family (he told me this while crying) and yet i met his dad... have seen him chug a few beers, yet he was an all around... if boring... nice guy! the family seems perfect.

 

now after we had our discussion he has promised to try his darndest(not exact words i just thought they were more snazzy to keep your attention while reading my long long long "memoirs") to stop all lying to me.

 

i believed him...

 

now here's the really confusing part... i moved 10 hours away to go to college and he stayed behind because he's not sure what to do yet... so i have no way to tell what is real and what is false.

 

my old really good friends get really annoyed with him also (like he seems to think no one will notice that he has all of a sudden done everything!!!... but better) and they will tell me he's lying still and the stuff they tell me clashes with what he tells me!!!

 

now i do love him but sometimes i get to the point that i want out because i don't believe any story that comes out his mouth! i feel so guilty.

 

i want him to see counselling , but being a guy (no offense for those guys who don't fit the sterotype!) he says he did it and it won't help. how can i prove he did? or even if he says he goes if he actually does?

 

i am spending two weeks at my christmas break with him and his family to do some serious soul searching...

 

i was wondering if anyone would like to offer some advice on how to make any decision easier or what to "exaine under close scrutiny" (for lack of a better word...) while i'm down there...

 

i'm very patient and i want it to work but i need help!!!

 

so help!!! please?

 

thanks for reading my horribly long whiny letter

[Deejette]

This is a very big flaw, because you will never know if you can believe him or not. You may also lose respect for him over time as others become disgusted with his white lies.

 

He really does need help to know that he is good enough just as he is without inflating himself with stories about being wealthy and such. But he has gotten into a bad habit and it takes a lot to break a bad habit, as any smoker who has tried to quit will tell you.

 

So, even though you love him, are you sure that it is really him that you love, and not just the little lies that he has told you to create a image of himself in your mind?

well my problem is a little difficult to explain... i have been going out with my boyfriend for 8 months and he's been absolutely wonderful. he's sweet and romantic and funny, an all around good person except one problem... he lies. not big lies but small little white lies that are absolutely pointless. the lies he tells are idiotic and he doesn't keep track off what he says because he will contradict himself time and time again. i have tried to confront him when he does contradict himself and he turns it all around on me saying it's not true and i have to believe him because i have the SHORTEST memory of all time... i'm young yet i can't remember things perfectly enough to continue the fight. i have talked to him about it and he cried and has explained to me that it is a problem he has had all his life and nobody trusts him not even his own parents... he's also told me that he's tried several things like counselling and moving to the town where i lived (i'll get to the "lived" in a secod) to start fresh. nothing has worked... well in the beginning he has told me many things like he was very very rich (millions even) yet he lives on the reserve and his parents work just like everyone else... he's also told me that his father beats his family (he told me this while crying) and yet i met his dad... have seen him chug a few beers, yet he was an all around... if boring... nice guy! the family seems perfect.

 

now after we had our discussion he has promised to try his darndest(not exact words i just thought they were more snazzy to keep your attention while reading my long long long "memoirs") to stop all lying to me. i believed him... now here's the really confusing part... i moved 10 hours away to go to college and he stayed behind because he's not sure what to do yet... so i have no way to tell what is real and what is false. my old really good friends get really annoyed with him also (like he seems to think no one will notice that he has all of a sudden done everything!!!... but better) and they will tell me he's lying still and the stuff they tell me clashes with what he tells me!!! now i do love him but sometimes i get to the point that i want out because i don't believe any story that comes out his mouth! i feel so guilty. i want him to see counselling , but being a guy (no offense for those guys who don't fit the sterotype!) he says he did it and it won't help. how can i prove he did? or even if he says he goes if he actually does? i am spending two weeks at my christmas break with him and his family to do some serious soul searching... i was wondering if anyone would like to offer some advice on how to make any decision easier or what to "exaine under close scrutiny" (for lack of a better word...) while i'm down there... i'm very patient and i want it to work but i need help!!! so help!!! please? thanks for reading my horribly long whiny letter