memomma Posted September 8, 2004 Share Posted September 8, 2004 I've been planning a vacation without my husband for several months now. I will be taking my children along but really did not look forward to spending time with my husband so I was planning to go without him. I work from home as a care giver to a young man who is totally dependent and NEED to have time to relax. My husband and I are not compatible at this time and when we are together it is just very tense and uncomfortable. My question is this..... Am I wrong here? I realize it would have been better if we could have made this decision together instead of me planning it alone and then telling him prior to going. We just don't talk. Whenever I try to, it ends up with me talking at him rather than to him. I knew he would get mad about his so I just delayed telling him rather than deal with his anger. I'm not going away to have an affair. My kids will be with me. I just want to relax so I can come home and continue to take care of this child in a better state of mind. I've tried counseling...begged him to go....he refuses. I will most likely go again because I know I have to make a decision regarding my future. Anyway......am I completely out of line or is this a justified decision that I made to go away with my kids alone. The kids are not his.....I remarried....and for 95% of the time, he doesn't even talk to my children. Tough to be around someone like that. Thanks for listening and for your input. I don't want to be the one making all the bad decisions. Link to post Share on other sites
Papillon Posted September 8, 2004 Share Posted September 8, 2004 Everyone needs some time to themselves. Take this opportunity to go spends some quility time with your kids. My parents got divorced when I was little, and we often went on holiday alone, just the three of us (me, mom, and bro), and we always had a great time. Besides, maybe you and your hub need a break from each other, too. Men? Who needs'em? Link to post Share on other sites
Pocky Posted September 8, 2004 Share Posted September 8, 2004 There's nothing wrong with taking a vacation without your husband. Link to post Share on other sites
Matilda Posted September 8, 2004 Share Posted September 8, 2004 Sounds good to me. And as the parent of a disabled child, I know how important it is to have breaks. Go and relax, and don't feel guilty about it. Link to post Share on other sites
moonbeam Posted September 8, 2004 Share Posted September 8, 2004 Of course its nothing wrong with taking a vacation with your kids. You #are# allowed to live, you know! Relax and have fun. Something you might consider later is to go on a quiet retreat (no kids) either with the religion of your choice or just a secular retreat. Many monasteries/nunneries welcome people who just need a quiet place to take a breather and maybe sort out som thoughts. Attending masses and such are entirely optional. Link to post Share on other sites
Author memomma Posted September 8, 2004 Author Share Posted September 8, 2004 Thanks to everyone who posted in response to my question about vacationing without my husband. It helps to hear an outsider's opinion and to be validated that it is not wrong or immoral to need some time alone. The main reason I don't want him to go is because we don't get along. I only get two vacations a year from 24 hour caregiving and I really don't want to spend that time fighting or being with someone who is pouting about one thing or another. Anyway....just wanted to say thanks. thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
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