Has an ex who dumped you ever come back to reconcile or apologize?

[RiceaRoni]

I know you should never wait for anyone and just move on, but down the road and after time has passed do exes who dumped you and ever did horrible things after the BU ever come back to apologize or even want to reconcile?

[portableversion]

my 1st gf i had in highschool did that. we were together for 7 months she dumped me i was devastated. 6 months later of hardcore nc she came back and asked me to take her back. I was still messed up and told her to get lost. I was pissed at her 2 yrs later. My 2nd gf my ex wife encouraged me to make peace with her, funny she had made friends with my mom as soon as she saw my future wife she stopped coming to visit my mom..

 

She found me on fb about 3 yrs ago and sent me frind request i accepted.

 

Now my ex wife shes never left me alone the longest we gone with only discussing kids business has been 7 day, she was here wednesday morning and hung out for 3 hrs. She doesnt want relationship with me but has been seriously aggressivley pursuing a frindship. I cant take it she has a bf who lives very far away and it kills me, i keep telling her i cant do this despite we do have great conversations and i get her laughing and stuff. Her friending me while shagging someone else is way too much.

 

I have to tell her to get lost until she looses the man. Its gotta be kid talk only. I dont have the energy for anything else, heck i still do love her and i have not yet gotten the strength to tell her to leave when she shows up.

[TheWeeknd]

Current ex of 4 years came back asking for reconciliation/friend with benefits after 2 months of harsh nc and improving myself. She has G.i.g.s and still hasn't gotten over it yet. You can read my threads for more info if you like. I turned her down and went back to nc. It does happen sometimes but even if it does happen you really have to think about your own benefits over your ex's.

[seriously-let-down]

My ex came back after 2 months because the guy she left me for dumped her, but they are back together now. She tried to get me back over a week, but i saw him worming his way back. She's a fool and its her loss. She made the mistake of coming clean about originally leaving me. Move on. Dont need those that hurt us in our lives.

 

It her loss now.

[SimonSerenade]

Yeah man, the ones who've done you wrong, they always come back, ALWAYS, never when you want them to but it happens, sometimes it takes months, sometimes it takes even years but they come back for one reason or another.

[singme2sleep]

That just goes to show, as asked in another thread, that they never truly forget you!

[calgary]

my first love came back to me after I acted like a door mat. kept talking to her even though she had a boyfriend.. she'd complain to me about him and i'd just agree with her that he wasn't right and stuff.

eventually she dumped him and came back to me.

 

got a free holiday out of me and then dumped me.

 

right now my friend I think is hooking up with my ex behind my back.

it hurts like hell. I don't think i'd ever take her back.

[RiceaRoni]

Yeah man, the ones who've done you wrong, they always come back, ALWAYS, never when you want them to but it happens, sometimes it takes months, sometimes it takes even years but they come back for one reason or another.

 

I've heard only when you truly move on lol, but I'm started to not believe he will ever come back. He can't let go of his pride or ego. If though he screwed me over big time, and time moves onward. I'm starting to feel less attached to him and not want him anymore.

[SimonSerenade]

You'd be surprised, I'm going to tell you a little story, when me and my ex broke up, I would of done anything to have her back, then a few months gone by and she never reached out and I was proud of the progress I'd made then after maybe 8-9 months she was showing signs of coming back, didn't help her friend was on LS reporting back to her, anytime she'd show these signs I'd lie my ass off about sexing up other girls, didn't want to give her any satisfaction knowing I kept myself to myself.

 

She went very quiet for a few months after that then when I finally in my heart let her go she came knocking again and this time the bitch just wouldn't go away lol saying she wanted to be a family again, I tried to lie and say I met up with a really pretty girl and did the dirty with her and she didn't care, I could of been skeeting all over town and she still would of had me back, desperation had finally set in for her, she wanted nothing more than to be together again, it all came out of nowhere, at the time I'd only just got with my current girlfriend and the love and admiration I had for her gave me the strength to tell her I didn't want her and would never look back, had my girlfriend not been in my life I probably would of done the stupid thing and take her back, I'd never tell my girlfriend that but damn she does mean the world to me.

 

Point is, one day you won't care if they come back or not because you'll move on and you'll move on to better things, looking back now I don't regret a thing because I found the real thing and had I not gone through all of that I wouldn't have that special thing in my life.

[RiceaRoni]

You'd be surprised, I'm going to tell you a little story, when me and my ex broke up, I would of done anything to have her back, then a few months gone by and she never reached out and I was proud of the progress I'd made then after maybe 8-9 months she was showing signs of coming back, didn't help her friend was on LS reporting back to her, anytime she'd show these signs I'd lie my ass off about sexing up other girls, didn't want to give her any satisfaction knowing I kept myself to myself.

 

She went very quiet for a few months after that then when I finally in my heart let her go she came knocking again and this time the bitch just wouldn't go away lol saying she wanted to be a family again, I tried to lie and say I met up with a really pretty girl and did the dirty with her and she didn't care, I could of been skeeting all over town and she still would of had me back, desperation had finally set in for her, she wanted nothing more than to be together again, it all came out of nowhere, at the time I'd only just got with my current girlfriend and the love and admiration I had for her gave me the strength to tell her I didn't want her and would never look back, had my girlfriend not been in my life I probably would of done the stupid thing and take her back, I'd never tell my girlfriend that but damn she does mean the world to me.

 

Point is, one day you won't care if they come back or not because you'll move on and you'll move on to better things, looking back now I don't regret a thing because I found the real thing and had I not gone through all of that I wouldn't have that special thing in my life.

 

 

That's great was she dating anyone during that time? My ex is. Took a major blow to my self esteem and I find it pitiful of him. You'd think I'd be the one in a new relationship because of the BU lol.

[SimonSerenade]

Yeah she left me for another guy, took me a while till I found out the truth so I was being an idiot running round after her, that lasted a while then she decided to be single again and then she went out with another guy and I think they were having troubles or something then she came spear hunting after my ass o.0, it was just weird for the roles to be reversed like that.

 

Don't let it blow out your self esteem though, it'll have nothing to do with you personally, for some people dating someone right after a break up is just there form of coping, a lot of people don't do too well on there own, yeah it's disrespectful and it makes them a down right ******* but it happens so much these days it's considered normal, I wouldn't recommend you stooping to that level, I'd recommend taking time out to yourself, enjoy being single, maybe not so much for the dating experience but the finding yourself and having all kinds of time to yourself experience, it may be hurtful at first but it's not actually that bad a life lol.

[RiceaRoni]

Same thing...he left me for another girl, and I couldn't put the pieces together until a couple of days ago lol they've already been together for 5/6 months...and yeah I chased him for the first month or so..once he got into the RS he's in now. I stopped and have been NC since.

 

It hurt a lot. And I felt undervalued. I felt like he never loved me in the first place, but I am doing a hell of a lot better I plan to stay single for a while. Relationships are emotionally exhausting that's why I don't understand how people jump from one to the other.

 

I'm enjoying the single life for now though I admit it gets lonely but I've learned a lot about myself and I have been able to see him from a different perspective and in fact he makes me so angry haha I guess I dodged a bullet.

 

If he were to come back. I don't know what I'd say. I'd want to say yes but looking back at everything he did to me I would probably say no way.

[SimonSerenade]

It's hard to get your head around, that's a long time for him to be fooling around behind your back, my ex did the same, I should of put the pieces together there and then, I might have felt better had I been the one to axe the relationship, I noticed things were different and she was acting very hostile and cold towards me for no reason what so ever, literally the smallest thing would of set her off, I think she was frustrated because she wanted to tell me and just end things, would of hurt a lot less if she'd been honest about her cheating lying ways and left me with that but it was so disrespectful how she couldn't even give me that.

 

Don't undervalue yourself though, it just isn't worth it, maybe he couldn't see something good when it was right in front of him but trust me, there'll be plenty of guys out there who'll notice, just think to yourself "when I'm ready, I could have any one of these guys".

 

Makes you wonder why we even bother don't it?, it is exhausting, keeping up a good relationship takes hard work, takes 2 people to do the work but if the other one isn't doing it then screw him who the hell needs a guy like that your right to see him in an unflattering perspective, I hope he does come back, just so you can tell him he isn't good enough for you and to take his small man business to somebody else cause he won't ever have it as good as he had it with you, ever again!, trust me, it's a satisfying feeling ^______^ (gave me a big smile like this xD lol).

[RiceaRoni]

It's hard to get your head around, that's a long time for him to be fooling around behind your back, my ex did the same, I should of put the pieces together there and then, I might have felt better had I been the one to axe the relationship, I noticed things were different and she was acting very hostile and cold towards me for no reason what so ever, literally the smallest thing would of set her off, I think she was frustrated because she wanted to tell me and just end things, would of hurt a lot less if she'd been honest about her cheating lying ways and left me with that but it was so disrespectful how she couldn't even give me that.

 

Don't undervalue yourself though, it just isn't worth it, maybe he couldn't see something good when it was right in front of him but trust me, there'll be plenty of guys out there who'll notice, just think to yourself "when I'm ready, I could have any one of these guys".

 

Makes you wonder why we even bother don't it?, it is exhausting, keeping up a good relationship takes hard work, takes 2 people to do the work but if the other one isn't doing it then screw him who the hell needs a guy like that your right to see him in an unflattering perspective, I hope he does come back, just so you can tell him he isn't good enough for you and to take his small man business to somebody else cause he won't ever have it as good as he had it with you, ever again!, trust me, it's a satisfying feeling ^______^ (gave me a big smile like this xD lol).

 

 

Oh no he didn't fool behind my back for that long. He broke up with me and has been with her for that long lol, but I meant that I had finally realized a couple of days ago that there may have been a high chance he knew her before our break and had left me for her.

 

And I know. He has a lot of growing up to do anyway...I hope he does realize one day that he left someone who truly loved and cared for him. So much that I pushed my pride out if the way to beg for him, and I never do that for anyone! Lol

 

If he does come back. It WILL be too late. Because then I'd ask him. "It took you this long to realize you wanted me in your life?"

 

^_______________^ smiles! Haha

[SimonSerenade]

That's good but the fact he fooled around at all is out of line, kudos to you for being so calm about all this, when I found out I didn't know how to feel, I was just so upset that I'd been replaced but at the same time I was incredibly pissed off, I'd see him walking back from her house while I was taking our kid back after a weekend with him, it took so much for me to not get out of the car and kick the crap out of him, I wanted to kick the crap out of her when she came out of her house in her skimpy outfits, can only imagine what they'd been doing.

 

Trust me, he probably knows right now what he's given up, I bet you the 1 million dollars I'll never have that he comes back one day begging for forgiveness, don't ever give up your pride again, it's a precious thing, keeps you emotionally strong but I know what you mean, I bent over backwards for that girl, sat on her doorstep crying my eyes out hoping she'd put her arm around me, those were tough times but in a way it shows you your human but somebody else in the future won't take advantage of your sensitive side, that guy never deserved to see it.

[Darren Steez]

This is the ultimate fantasy for the dumped and cheated on. The wayward somehow regains their senses and comes grovelling back realizing what a mistake they've made. Part of it is trying to regain that shattered self esteem, the healing of the severely bruised ego, willing to ignore all the wrongs just so things can be the way they were.

 

If the OP is hoping to reconcile I suggest even if your ex comes back, to never look back and keep moving on.

[na49]

I'd love for it to happen. It probably does happen. but I don't want to wait for it to happen. because if it doesn't happen, I'll be waiting forever.

 

It's better to just see it for what it is. People change. Feelings change. We don't live in a romantic comedy, so we don't always get that ending we're looking for.

[RiceaRoni]

That's good but the fact he fooled around at all is out of line, kudos to you for being so calm about all this, when I found out I didn't know how to feel, I was just so upset that I'd been replaced but at the same time I was incredibly pissed off, I'd see him walking back from her house while I was taking our kid back after a weekend with him, it took so much for me to not get out of the car and kick the crap out of him, I wanted to kick the crap out of her when she came out of her house in her skimpy outfits, can only imagine what they'd been doing.

 

Trust me, he probably knows right now what he's given up, I bet you the 1 million dollars I'll never have that he comes back one day begging for forgiveness, don't ever give up your pride again, it's a precious thing, keeps you emotionally strong but I know what you mean, I bent over backwards for that girl, sat on her doorstep crying my eyes out hoping she'd put her arm around me, those were tough times but in a way it shows you your human but somebody else in the future won't take advantage of your sensitive side, that guy never deserved to see it.

 

 

Yeah when he first broke up with me it was over text...I kept asking to see him that day, but he refused. So that following Monday I stopped by his school with lunch for him and poured it all out. Telling him I knew what we needed work on, etc. and then that night he said he messed up...I didn't know if that meant he wanted to get back together, so I told him I'd hive him space since he asked for it and then when he was ready we could try again. I have a week and went back to him but he had totally turned cold from then on and started acting cruel towards me...

 

I didn't want to get back together so quickly because our emotions were still all over the place hence why I have him the space he asked me for, turned out he didn't really want to work on things or get back.

 

For some reason I wasn't that angry...just shocked and hurt, depressed, etc.

 

But now I do get angry. I don't show it to him though, but when he does see me I totally ignore him and he knows he messed up.

 

I'm much better. I miss him a lot, but I'm better. Sometimes I still get butterflies when I see him, but I know they'll pass eventually.

 

And I will defienetly never lower my pride like that again. I look back and I feel pathetic for ever doing it. It wasnt worth it. He wasnt worth it.

 

One day at a time

[RiceaRoni]

I'd love for it to happen. It probably does happen. but I don't want to wait for it to happen. because if it doesn't happen, I'll be waiting forever.

 

It's better to just see it for what it is. People change. Feelings change. We don't live in a romantic comedy, so we don't always get that ending we're looking for.

 

True true

[SimonSerenade]

Aw that's really harsh, not much respect given when he ends it in a text, my ex ended it in a similar way, she ended it over the phone, no real excuse or reason or anything, not even a nice meaningful goodbye and damn that made it so hard because you think so many different things and feel like you was pretty meaningless all that time you spent together, people seem to forget that when you end things, people need closure to move on, without that your leaving somebody pretty messed up.

 

I remember the first long term relationship I ever had, really loved the bones of that girl, in the end she cheated and just couldn't deal with certain things at the time, we were both young back then (man I miss those days! lol), anyway, she ended things the right way, she met up with me, we sat down on a bench in a public garden and talked about it, she explained everything to me and told me all that I meant to her through our time together, my heart fell through my ass but because she was so honest with me and had given me closure I could just let it all out right there and then, she kissed me goodbye and it was beautiful, even now it was probably the best memory I've ever had, the time after that was much easier to heal and move on, I cried myself out and eventually accepted it within weeks, just took time to myself, played some games, watched some tv shows and even went on a few dates after that, it was heart breaking but I healed in the right way and I can look back on that now with absolutely no hate or anger towards her, I actually look back on her and respect her for being so open and honest.

 

I think just that little story I told you puts in to perspective the pathetic selfish kind of guy that he is and he was never worth your precious time, people in relationships shouldn't want space in times of need, they ought to stick together and find a way to make things work but despite how much it was killing you inside, you gave it him either way, that was a really selfless thing you did, your a nice girl, you deserve a nice guy, this guy wasn't it but hey, you'll find a way to get over this and you'll look back one day and wonder what you ever saw in him in the first place .

[Jingle14]

That just goes to show, as asked in another thread, that they never truly forget you!

 

Which thread was that in? Also, do you believe it - mine has never instigated any contact with me since July 2011, although has answered a couple of my texts/emails (although not the last one in October and I've managed to somehow claw back some dignity and refrain from any contact since. Odd thing is, the person I am now is every bit the person he wanted).

[RiceaRoni]

Aw that's really harsh, not much respect given when he ends it in a text, my ex ended it in a similar way, she ended it over the phone, no real excuse or reason or anything, not even a nice meaningful goodbye and damn that made it so hard because you think so many different things and feel like you was pretty meaningless all that time you spent together, people seem to forget that when you end things, people need closure to move on, without that your leaving somebody pretty messed up.

 

I remember the first long term relationship I ever had, really loved the bones of that girl, in the end she cheated and just couldn't deal with certain things at the time, we were both young back then (man I miss those days! lol), anyway, she ended things the right way, she met up with me, we sat down on a bench in a public garden and talked about it, she explained everything to me and told me all that I meant to her through our time together, my heart fell through my ass but because she was so honest with me and had given me closure I could just let it all out right there and then, she kissed me goodbye and it was beautiful, even now it was probably the best memory I've ever had, the time after that was much easier to heal and move on, I cried myself out and eventually accepted it within weeks, just took time to myself, played some games, watched some tv shows and even went on a few dates after that, it was heart breaking but I healed in the right way and I can look back on that now with absolutely no hate or anger towards her, I actually look back on her and respect her for being so open and honest.

 

I think just that little story I told you puts in to perspective the pathetic selfish kind of guy that he is and he was never worth your precious time, people in relationships shouldn't want space in times of need, they ought to stick together and find a way to make things work but despite how much it was killing you inside, you gave it him either way, that was a really selfless thing you did, your a nice girl, you deserve a nice guy, this guy wasn't it but hey, you'll find a way to get over this and you'll look back one day and wonder what you ever saw in him in the first place .

 

The odd thing is...he knew he was selfish. He even told me he was...

 

And I should have taken a hint the first time we almost broke up. We were facetiming and he started to cry telling me he was scared our relationship wasnt going to work. And I kept trying to reassure him that it would be okay and not to worry. I have never seen a guy cry for me like that. It broke my heart, but at the same time it made me realize he did love me..

 

And I was such a fool. I look back, and our fights were terrible. I tried to stay calm during a fight we had and he got upset.

 

I guess it wasnt meant to be between us, it hurts badly, but I knew somewhere in that relationship he did truly love me.

 

After the BU he began calling me names and just started to get upset at everything I did.

 

I would go on twitter and quote little fun lines from my favorite shows - he would get upset

 

Recently 5/6 months later I went to a meeting for my sister at her school. I saw him there. He saw me. Our eyes met so fast. And he turned around. Like he couldn't and didn't want to face me.

 

After that I snooped a little on his twitter cause I was off of it for so long and he commented on the way I dressed...saying how he sarcastically "loved" how I tried to dress like him.

 

I'm completely off twitter again. It's too painful and I don't have the strength to resist temptation to look at him every once in a while. So delete lol.

 

Most people here on LS say they expect his attitude towards things particularly because he's 16 (turning 17 next month) and I'm 18. His new gf is I think 15 or 16. Not much maturity there, but I understand we're young still

[RiceaRoni]

And I totally wish my ex ended things in the way your first relationship was ended....it's sad, but it was in a way kind and non dramatic/devestating.

 

Almost calm I guess lol well at least compared to me.

[na49]

I'm completely off twitter again. It's too painful and I don't have the strength to resist temptation to look at him every once in a while. So delete lol.

 

loving your self control.

 

I've been avoiding twitter as well. It sucks because there are a lot of funny people that I used to follow and it's just fun to check to see what's happening. (like facebook). My ex made a new twitter after dumping me. Probably to remove all evidence of ever dating me. thanks...

 

of course I found out what it was and I remember it because it's easy to remember, just like her number. Whatever. I won't use instagram for the same reason.

[Star Gazer]

From what I can remember, almost all of my shorter-termed relationships "came back." My longer-term relationships did not.