What's he trying to tell me?

[Emmii]

I've recently been hanging out with a guy and have only slept with him once. After sex we had a very deep conversation where he was opening up to me about his life.

A few days after we were sitting down chatting about things and it turned into a serious conversation as he said he loved women or shape, size and race. I turned around to him and said that's just you a jerk with lots of women on the go. He said I wish I don't have time as of work and my kids. He then asked me what I wanted. I told him I've always been straight with him and i want a relationship and all the things that come with it. He turned around and said to me well then what am I? I said I don't know?! I asked him what he wanted and he said he didn't know himself. He was confused. He said that he wouldn't wanna hurt me as he cares for me. Then he started asking me about my ex and how and what he was like. He also asked me how would my mother react if I took him home. What's he trying to tell me? We've only slept together once. Since then his started telling me about his personal problems. I'm confused with him asking what I want as his said he didn't want a relationship and just fun and yet he got upset when I couldn't explain what we were as I've been hanging out for a few months. Pls help

[TaraMaiden]

what......?

 

I'm having quite a lot of difficulty understanding what it is you're telling US.....

[Emmii]

He asked me what we were as we've been hanging out together. He asked what I wanted fun or a relationship. I told him I wanted a relationship. He asked me what we were? I said what do you want and he said he was confused and doesn't know what he wants. I'm asking is he really confused or is he playing me along? From someone who just wanted fun had started opening up to me a lot more.

[TaraMaiden]

Thank you.

 

In that case, yeah. I think he's genuinely confused.

I don't think he expected to start feeling as deeply for you as he does.

 

Why don't you suggest to him you guys stay away from each other for a whole week, no contact, in order for him to get his head sorted?

Just a week.

Does he think he could manage that?

Maybe a bit of 'alone/me time', would help him clear his mind....

 

Tell him that if, during this time, he feels clearer, then he can still get in touch and tell you, before the week is up.

 

But that you don't want to be messed around.

[Emmii]

Taramaiden; I've decide to stay away from him as I don't wanna hate him. At the moment I feel like I've been taken for a mug. I thought men pretty much know what they want. Any don't play games? What's made me him do confused? Is it not a simple answer yes/no if you wanna be with someone?

[iKING]

I thought men pretty much know what they want. Any don't play games? What's made me him do confused? Is it not a simple answer yes/no if you wanna be with someone?

 

Guys can be just as confused and play just as many games as girls.

 

It sounds as though he really doesn't know what he wants.

 

I'd say take Tara's advice on the matter and have a "cool down and contemplate" period of time so he can sort out what exactly it is that he wants between you two.

[Emmii]

Could either of you explain to me what I have done to him to make him so confused? Wouldn't he happy with the arrangement we were having?

[TaraMaiden]

You've done nothing. You just 'are'.

 

He's realised his feelings for you have run deeper than he ever intended, and now he doesn't know whether to quash them and just carry on as normal, or whether to plunge in, commit and see where it goes....

[Emmii]

I've bumped into him at my friends place. There was a little bit of an awkward moment between us for a few minutes and then he just carried on like his normal funny self. He grabbed me and started dancing with me and talked about the night we had sex and how I played hard to get. I just behaved in the same mannerism. I feel as thou I'm being played by him and its all just a front. I've only slept with him once. Why is this happening?