Sheba Posted September 8, 2004 Share Posted September 8, 2004 I found the experience singularly unsatisfactory. I did get an opportunity to air my concerns, but of course I had already aired them to my partner. The counsellor merely asked me "do you hear what he is saying?" when my partner professed to the non-existence of his feelings for the woman at work. Of course I hear him, it is his CONDUCT that troubles me, and his conduct is very inconsistent with his words. I feel as if there is an elephant in the room and that I am asked to pretend there is no elephant just on the basis that he says there is no elephant. How do I deal with that? I was sleepless last night, again. I had expected that the counsellor would give some credence to my observations and at least suggest that my partner consider changing the particular behaviours that concern me. What is more, I admit readily to being insecure, however attribute at least part of that insecurity to the fact I have been repeatedly told by my partner, during virtually every disagreement, that he is fed up and going to leave me. The counsellor suggested he would "work alone with [me] to address the feelings of insecurity". Why would he not suggest that my partner STOP SAYING THINGS THAT MAKE ME FEEL INSECURE? We have another appointment next week. It hardly seems worth the $150.00 per hour. Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted September 8, 2004 Share Posted September 8, 2004 That is an awesome analogy! Just because he SAYS there isn't an elephant in the room doesn't make it so, I like that! I would suggest that IF you chose to return to the counselor that you tell him/her EXACLTY that. You decide what it will take for him (your boyfriend) to do to SHOW you he can be trusted and is being sincere and lay that out on the table. Wish ya the best girl;) Link to post Share on other sites
Queen B Posted September 8, 2004 Share Posted September 8, 2004 Just because someone has a diploma doesn't mean that they are good at what they do or that they are the right persoanlity fit for your couple. I'd find another counsellor....it may take a while but you both need to feel that the counsellor is impartial and considerate in order to take what they say to heart. p.s. Love the analogy..... Link to post Share on other sites
Bubbles Posted September 8, 2004 Share Posted September 8, 2004 Sounds like "Taming the Shrew" to me........are you supposed to beleive EVERYTHING he says? Girl I have agreed with you since the beginning of your post. I was the one who suggested you "tag along" for lunch or coffe remember? I think it was a good idea then as it is now. If there is nothing going on.......they will have no problem with you being around. What's the matter with that other girl? Doesn't she think for a second that you would be jealous? or does she have NO GUILT...sounds to me like she has alterior motives. Otherwise she would have backed off completely knowing your relationship with this man. Bubbles Link to post Share on other sites
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