nyccc Posted March 15, 2013 Share Posted March 15, 2013 How would you take it? He's sometimes slightly flirty but always assumed it was harmless. The other day he randomly dropped into conversation that he'd cheated once a few years ago, it wasn't at all relevant to what we were talking about and I thought it was a bit odd that he'd tell me as if it was me I wouldn't want to tell anyone and definitely not a random person at work. I don't know though - would you think it's normal? Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted March 15, 2013 Share Posted March 15, 2013 He's basically telling you he's game if you are. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted March 15, 2013 Share Posted March 15, 2013 I'd think he was pretty scummy for sharing something so personal and trying to use it as a manipulation tool to cheat again. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author nyccc Posted March 16, 2013 Author Share Posted March 16, 2013 I'd think he was pretty scummy for sharing something so personal and trying to use it as a manipulation tool to cheat again. Do you mean that the reason he'd say it would be to hint he wants to again? You don't think there could be an innocent reason to bring it up? It's just made me worry now that he thinks I would really - I wouldn't cheat on my boyfriend or get involved with a married guy even if I was single but now it's made me wonder about everything else he's said (slightly suggestive comments and once told me his wife was away and tried to get me to go to his house) I know it sounds really naive now but I always thought he was being silly and never thought he was actually serious Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 16, 2013 Share Posted March 16, 2013 How would you take it? He's sometimes slightly flirty but always assumed it was harmless. The other day he randomly dropped into conversation that he'd cheated once a few years ago, it wasn't at all relevant to what we were talking about and I thought it was a bit odd that he'd tell me as if it was me I wouldn't want to tell anyone and definitely not a random person at work. I don't know though - would you think it's normal? I would take it as, he's opening the door and testing the waters to see if you will cheat with him, that he's OK with it if you are willing to participate in an affair. He obviously isn't ashamed of past behaviour and is willing to do it again. JUST KNOW, what you put out there, comes back and bites back harder. Don't get involved with him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author nyccc Posted March 16, 2013 Author Share Posted March 16, 2013 I'm not going to be 'that girl', the reason I asked is cause yes, I knew he was flirting but I really thought he wasn't serious. Have read other threads now and the whole 'harmless flirting/flirting with intent' thing is what I mean - I didn't think he was doing it with the intent of anything actually happening but then the cheating comment made me wonder. I guess I do need to set some better boundaries though and make it obvious I'm not interested in anything Link to post Share on other sites
Cutiepie1976 Posted March 17, 2013 Share Posted March 17, 2013 If you really aren't that "type" of girl, you should have cut off the flirtation a long time ago and given him the cold shoulder. I dunno. Married guy who flirts with you repeatedly invites you over to his house and is clear that his wife is away? That's not harmless joking! He will continue to push boundaries because you seem "game" and aren't stopping him. Please don't come back here wondering how you accidentally stumbled and fell on his stick...sorry...for his shtick. He's escalating and you're playing along. Be honest with yourself. You like the attention and flattery. Sad part is, you're playing with fire and will be the one burned. He will just move on and take up with the next victim after you've been scorched. The guy is a serial cheater trolling for willing vagina, nothing more. Let him go sniff up some other random's panties. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted March 18, 2013 Share Posted March 18, 2013 Do you mean that the reason he'd say it would be to hint he wants to again? You don't think there could be an innocent reason to bring it up? That is exactly what I think. There is no INNOCENT REASON someone confesses to an infidelity. It is laying the groundwork that he is stating he has done it before and apparently has no remorse about it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author nyccc Posted March 24, 2013 Author Share Posted March 24, 2013 That is exactly what I think. There is no INNOCENT REASON someone confesses to an infidelity. It is laying the groundwork that he is stating he has done it before and apparently has no remorse about it. Ok - I guess that answers my question. Thanks for all your opinions Cutiepie - I know I should have cut it off before now but his comment (about going to his house) seemed so ridiculous to me I really thought he was trying to be funny Don't want him to think i'm 'game' though so have backed off and have been avoiding him as much as possible - he seems to be getting the message. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts