Istandalone Posted September 8, 2004 Share Posted September 8, 2004 Ok, so my ex-fiance' (Josh) and I have decided to work things out. He had a one-night stand and broke my heart... but I still love the guy. He moved out after the whole break-up happened, but we still see each other several times a week. We've decided to "date" each other for a while but believe we'll get back together after some time has passed. Now, here's my problem: after spending time away from him and doing things on my own, I'm not sure if I want to be in the relationship anymore. Deep down I know that I would rather be loved than lusted after, and I want someone I can trust. Lately I have gone out with my girlfriends and get attention from males that I didn't get before. I like the attention and I feel good about myself. But, I know that I would be upset if Josh were doing these things. I love Josh but I am not sure if we should break up or stay together. I'm not really the dating type... I do relationships. That's how I function I guess. Now the question is, should I just have a little fun in our "dating" stage or should I explore the possibilities of being single? I feel like I will regret my decision should I decide to break up with Josh now. But, I don't want to sit around and wait for something that's never going to happen. It's so hard! At first I wanted him back so bad that it hurt, but now I am wondering if it's what I really want. Need some advice Link to post Share on other sites
tattoomytoe Posted September 8, 2004 Share Posted September 8, 2004 this is kinda where i am at too. bf cheated, i am in the process of moving out....technically for money issues, but i feel i we need time apart. we will still be dating after i move out. and so far that is all. i am NOT holding my breath, because unless he does some growing up and a little changing...i know i am not marring him- and he is not ready for marriage yet and i am-so that is another thing too. so i will just date him and see how it goes. and to me, it will be open dating, since he went out and did as he pleased while we were living together and committed. but that is jusy my opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
Starbuck Queen Posted September 8, 2004 Share Posted September 8, 2004 I totally understand what you are going thru. My bf and I are trying to work it out after he slept with another woman. The only difference between you and I is that we have a child together and now he has a baby on the way with the girl. This is makes it a lot harder to cut ties. As you are young and are not "tied" to this guy, I say explore the possiblities before you settle down and get married. If it is meant to be, he will still be there whether a few months or a year have passed. Just be careful. Live your life. You are only young once. If you are like me, you want to be married but only married once. Link to post Share on other sites
Starnette83 Posted September 8, 2004 Share Posted September 8, 2004 I can relate, i got back with my ex and i just think when trust is broken , its no lonher the same, we want them yet we no longer can believe in them..ahhhh Link to post Share on other sites
tattoomytoe Posted September 8, 2004 Share Posted September 8, 2004 i just think when trust is broken , its no lonher the same, we want them yet we no longer can believe in them..ahhhh that is EXACTLY it! how can i trust him now? especially since i would have never ever even thought he would do the cheating! I honestly expected me to be the one who cheated IF if ever came to that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Istandalone Posted September 8, 2004 Author Share Posted September 8, 2004 Wow, I can't believe there are so many of us going through the same thing!!!! I have the same thoughts... how can I trust him again? I still love him, and he seems to be trying to show me that he wants to change, but how do I know he's not out there doing it again???? I am so suspicious now. I check his bank statements, emails, phone records, etc. I don't think it's right for me to do that, but it was his own fault for breaking the trust. Tattoo, I was in the same boat. I thought it would be me who would screw up what we had, certainly not him. How do they do things like that??? And you know what the worst part is? It was the girl next door! Pardon the cliche'... but now I have to see the jezebel every day! It's a constant reminder of how much he hurt me. I know I'm young and have plenty of life to live, but I also don't want to pass up something that might be great. In either direction, I never know if I might miss something! If I stay with Josh, I could be relinquishing all possibilities of something better. But, if I go, I may be forsaking something that could potentially be just what I am looking for. And then there's the loneliness... Link to post Share on other sites
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