WiseOwl Posted March 17, 2013 Share Posted March 17, 2013 Im curious how people's affairs begin. Work related, old flame, neighbor, Internet. My husbands affairs were all Internet websites and included prostitutes. My husband is very shallow emotionally so this makes sense to me. My best friend is in an affair with an old boyfriend she contacted through Facebook. My friend is married but her boyfriend is not. My other best friend is having an affair with a neighbor I think. (I am guessing) The friend who is having an affair found out HER husband is cheating on her with an old girlfriend. Affairs and cheating are common but I have never been in an affair. Years ago when I was in m 20's and drunk, I made out with my married boss. His wife found out and it ended their marriage. It was only one night and I didn't even like the guy but I felt really bad about it and was too immature to know how to handle it. I am just curious how things got started for those of you willing to share. Link to post Share on other sites
wanting more Posted March 17, 2013 Share Posted March 17, 2013 Was with a co-worker. We'd known each other about 3 years and one night while traveling we drank touch. Then a 3 year A Link to post Share on other sites
18Years2Late Posted March 17, 2013 Share Posted March 17, 2013 My fA was with an x-boyfriend who I was engaged to 18+ years ago...we are both married...I am divorcing...his W found out and filed for D...I'm not sure they're still divorcing...don't care...but it would sure help me sleep at night if he were left with nothing too... Link to post Share on other sites
stevie_23 Posted March 17, 2013 Share Posted March 17, 2013 I'd known my ex-MM for 1-2 years casually as a forum buddy. I always assumed he was married (which he wasn't though he was in a relationship), that he was maybe 45-50 years old, and he was just a really nice, kind and supportive guy. I learned over time he lived with his partner of 2-3 years in New Jersey, worked in landscaping and construction, I LOVED the songs he wrote and sang, and was surprised to know he was actually 59. When we began to get to know each other much better, everything happened very quickly and I developed a HUGE crush on him. I explored it eagerly as it felt "safe" (the distance, both of us with existing partners, him being WAY too old, and him being a man considering I assumed still that I was gay), and by the time I realised how I really felt (in love), and that HE felt the same way...we were in already. In too deep to be strong enough to back out. It took me a lot longer still to fully realise the depth of my feelings and the potential impact of my actions. We never met. Was online / text / videos / phone contact only, but almost constant contact. Our time zones were 14-15 hours apart so whenever both of us were awake we'd be in constant contact, and when one of us was asleep the other would be sending emails and doing videos. Went on for almost 2 years once we got together and weren't just friends. Ended last December when he left me. And now I don't even have him as a forum friend anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
AnotherRound Posted March 17, 2013 Share Posted March 17, 2013 My exH's OW was a summer hire co-worker at the factory he worked at. He and I were not in a good marriage, she became his confidante and it went from there for them. My exMM was introduced to me, and I to him, through mutual friends. He was working and I was at several of his events and met him that way as I was with friends of his. We met, clicked immediately - and it went from there - with all of our mutual friends encouraging it. I found out later that one of our friends, who was close with both of us, had really kind of set that up in a way bc he thought we would be really good together and really hit it off - and he was right. He also was the one that told exMM that I wouldn't date him if I knew he was married, regardless of the circumstances - and I was pretty upset with both of them for that withholding, but by the time exMM revealed this to me - I was already too into it and made a decision to continue once I knew the now exW was aware that he was not committed to their marriage in that way. It's interesting sometimes how the universe works - who it puts in your life and how. I'm interested also to see how others met. Link to post Share on other sites
Dreamworld Posted March 17, 2013 Share Posted March 17, 2013 School. I took some classes after my divorce and he and I met in a class. It was the whole tip toeing around really keep it secret affair cuz we had both made mutual friends from the class as well and used to meet in groups and such. No one ever found out the affair happened. Except his wife. Started off as classmates that stayed in touch from time to time after that class ended, then "eh why not have lunch/dinner. He is a good friend why not?" which turned into more lunches/dinners, and more frequent contact. Which turned into contact every day, in which what was friendly conversation started to turn into flirting and sexual innuendo. And once that started to happen guess everyone can figure out what happened during the lunch/dinners after that. I think we started to really cross the line when we began to stay in touch every day. After dday I withdrew from all those classes and cut contact with everybody who was mutual friends with him. As far as they know I could have gone to the moon. Have a nice week. P.s= I never talked about this aspect of myself yet in this forum but I was once a BS too. So for some extra info on how affair partners meet, my ex husband's OW was his patient. Who was also my best friend. I think murder crossed my mind for the first time in my life when I was hit with the double whammy but that was another time and place. Cheers! Link to post Share on other sites
Got it Posted March 17, 2013 Share Posted March 17, 2013 In regards to dMM, we were/are in the same industry and met through work. Link to post Share on other sites
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