Phonecalls

[Irin]

My boyfriend keeps telling me he's irritated by me. But all I did was call him to say hi? He insisted I called but had nothing to say? But don't we have to call each other to keep in contact? Isn't this basic concern for each other?

 

I don't know why but recently we can't communicate on the phone. He sounds like he don't really want to talk to me ... so i end up not knowing what to say. I really don't know if it's because of his new comp.

[Paulie]

It kind of depends what stage of the relationship you are in. If the two of you are still in the initial stages of the relationship (maybe the 1st year...but it's different for each relationship), then yes, I would agree with you...generally both partners want to talk to each other all the time. The fire of the "in love" stage, combined with the ever-present insecurity of this relatively new relationship keeps the two partners in need of making frequent contact, even when there's nothing overwhelmingly necessary to talk about.

 

There comes a point, however, where it can become a bit tiresome. If this is something that is really bothering you, or if you feel that what you are calling him about is something that is relevant to your relationship, then YES you should call him.

 

If it is his new computer that is occupying all his time, ditch him immediately. If you're hurting and he doesn't have the time to take a few moments to console you because he's too occupied by a damn computer, then you don't need him.

 

Raise your concern to him, if you haven't already, and let us know what he says.

[Deejette]

It sounds like you and he are going through some communication problems. You need to tell him that you just want to say "Hi," because you miss him and want to hear his voice. If he is pestered by this and if you really don't have that much to say to each other, maybe you should have a look at the relationship.

 

It might be going south and this is one way he has of showing it.

It kind of depends what stage of the relationship you are in. If the two of you are still in the initial stages of the relationship (maybe the 1st year...but it's different for each relationship), then yes, I would agree with you...generally both partners want to talk to each other all the time. The fire of the "in love" stage, combined with the ever-present insecurity of this relatively new relationship keeps the two partners in need of making frequent contact, even when there's nothing overwhelmingly necessary to talk about.

 

There comes a point, however, where it can become a bit tiresome. If this is something that is really bothering you, or if you feel that what you are calling him about is something that is relevant to your relationship, then YES you should call him. If it is his new computer that is occupying all his time, ditch him immediately. If you're hurting and he doesn't have the time to take a few moments to console you because he's too occupied by a damn computer, then you don't need him. Raise your concern to him, if you haven't already, and let us know what he says.

[Erin]

I have to agree with you here, there is a major communication problem. I really don't understand that we should all look at how long we have been in a relationship to justify how frequent our boyfriends call us on the phone.

 

I know of many couples who have been together for 4 or 5 years now and converse over the phone all the time. If it not everyday of the week, maybe twice a week. I think it is healthy to communicate and especially if couples are not living together and don't see each other as much, calling each other to see how their day went would be nice.

 

I think if a guy or girl cares enough for their significant other, they should make the effort and call once in awhile. I don't think calling your bf should be tiresome nor should your boyfriend be irritated when he hears your voice.

 

If he doesn't enjoy talking to you on the phone, how could he possibly enjoy your company!!! I think one should really look into this, and you're right, this relationship should very well be heading down south not north.

 

My reason for sounding "bitter" is because I was in the same situation with my ex and after dealing with this, I just was SO FED UP and decided that it would be best to find someone else. Maybe this person doesn't appreciate you enough and when they do lose you they finally realize what a selfish self-absorbing person they really are. Never let anyone take you for granted. IF you allow them to, they will.

 

I hope I was of help to some of you who are in similiar situations.

It sounds like you and he are going through some communication problems. You need to tell him that you just want to say "Hi," because you miss him and want to hear his voice. If he is pestered by this and if you really don't have that much to say to each other, maybe you should have a look at the relationship. It might be going south and this is one way he has of showing it.