I think co-worker likes me ( not sure )

[wizard08]

Well just a question, how do you really know if some-one has the hots or likes you. I have read countless times that she will hold the stare for slightly longer. At work there is a co-worker that I think likes me ( not really sure ), I mean she seemed to look into my eyes deeply and next thing I know she sat uncomfartbly close to me. At first i seemed uneasy and agitated and then stopped worrying and just started talking to her and during coversation she asked me all these personal questions "like do you have a girlfriend" and stuff like that. I felt un-easy as i felt i was being interrogated. I've got a habit of jumping to conclusions too quickly might not be anything in it. Are these signs she likes me or I am just jumping the gun ?

 

Thanks in advance

[Fiesta]

Sounds like she's interested to me. How seriously, who knows? But I'd take it as interest.

[bluetuesday]

hey wizard - yeah i'd say she probably does likes you or at least is interested in finding out if she does. probably but not for sure. depends on the girl.

 

but from the way you describe your feelings about what's been going on (uncomfortable, uneasy, interrogated) i'd say the case was more that you don't like her.

 

asking if you have a girlfriend, well, she could be sniffing around for herself or for someone else or she could think you're gay and be trying to win a bet. no offense buddy - it all depends how she said it.

 

does she smile, seem open, mention a boyfriend, ask what you do in your free time, does she seem to be trying to get to know you or just gather information about you?

 

sustained eye contact is supposed to be text book but you can't rely on it, some of us can only look people in the eye we don't fancy...

[wizard08]

It's just that if some-one gets too close i tend to get rather defensive I don't know why it is. Well 2/3 years ago I thought some-one fancied me and I tried smiling at her she called me **** right in front of my face that's such a bad memory I can't forget about. She broke my heart in many, many places and regaining my confidence after that was quite a struggle. If some-one gets too close I tend to rather defensive, the fact that they could get close to me and hurt me like she did scares me.

 

Well when i see her my heart just seems to skip a beat I wish i could be a bit more cool. From what your saying she seems to be open, she has metioned a boy-friend but I've never seen her smile and funny thing is she asked that question during a conversation about something else. She seems likes she actaully wants to get to know me but then again I could be jumping the gun. She's probably being friendly.

[bluetuesday]

well friendly is a great place to start! many of the very best relationships develop between people who were just friends first. and if the worst you do is bag yourself a great new friend, it's all good. and there's no rush, right?

 

i wouldn't worry too much about trying to appear to be cool. it can be interpreted as disinterest and it's way too much of a subjective quality. i prefer kind and funny and interesting. and if you get a bit flustered around her that's kinda sweet too.

 

my advice would be to just notice her, pick up on things she says and refer back to them later so she knows you're listening with interest, compliment her genuinely when she says or does something you admire - just don't overdo it - and try (i know it's hard) to sit back and let things develop naturally.

 

getting burned sucks, we've all been there, although the episode you describe sounds particularly nasty so please try to be brave. most of us are not out to hurt and humiliate men, most of us are searching just like you. i hope you've found one of them.

 

good luck wiz.