Author angie2443 Posted March 20, 2013 Author Share Posted March 20, 2013 I'm sorry angie2443, but it is not for you to say how much or how little my exwife's pain mattered to me. This thread is not centered on you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Finally Settled Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 This thread is not centered on you. I agree, but it is centered on something I have firsthand knowledge of and I responded thusly. Link to post Share on other sites
Finally Settled Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 She's posting things to understand things. It's an open message board, so it IS for her to ask her question. She didn't comment on you specifically, and she said 'it seems'. And the comment was about how much a WS cares about the pain, not if they can see it or not. You seem offended that anyone would suggest that you care less for your BS because you aren't with her. I would flip it and say that you care less for your BS so you aren't with her. You may feel badly for the pain you've caused, but clearly you cared less for her, or you'd be married to her now. "Looking at some of the posts, I wonder if a lot ofthis has to do with the connection between the WS and the BS. If the WS isstill with the BS after all is said and done, and they really love and maybeeven respect the BS, then it would make sense that they would feel worse aboutthe affair. If, however, the WS ended up leaving the BS or didn't feelthat strong of a connection with the BS even if they stayed, the BS's painwouldn't matter as much. I guess it's like if a loved one gets in abad accident, it would be really painful, but if a stranger ended up in ahorrible accident, the pain would be a lot less, if not completely absent Above, in bold, is the portion of the quote I responded to. As Igo back to my post I see quite clearly where I addressed the issue of the pain'mattering' to me, which is what is referred to in the bolded sentence. I am not able to see where you come to the conclusion, or would be promptedto suggest, that I was offended, but often the word read is not the wordwritten. I do agree with you that I care less for my exwife or I wouldstill be with her. This does not exclude me from fully understanding thepain I caused her. Link to post Share on other sites
Finally Settled Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 I'm sorry if this is off topic, and I don't mean to make you feel bad... but witnessing her pain is not the same as fully understanding it. Unless you have been there yourself, you really don't know what you put her through... i'm not saying that to run your down, but it's the truth. There's likely a whole lot of pain and heartache that she didn't let you see as she no longer trusted you to be there for her and felt you couldn't possibly understand. she may well have suffered in relative silence ( most betrayed spouses do) Believe me my dear Ms Sprouts, I am fully aware I have no idea exactly what I put her through. I have no idea exactly what I put my other woman through. My brother lost a child in its infancy and I have no idea how he felt. As I have never experienced a betrayal as cruel as the one I inflicted on her, I have no way of knowing exactly what she felt. With that said, I was actually making comment that it mattered to me. I can't grasp the pain of a father who lost his child, but I can see that pain and I can react to that. You are saying nothing to me that I haven't said to myself, so please don't apologize for speaking your mind. Link to post Share on other sites
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