She constantly calls me "best friend"... will I be "friendzoned" forever?

[justthatguy]

Hey folks of this community and those who take the time to read and sincerely respond to this, I want to start off by saying I'm a 21 year old male and my luck with the ladies has been terrible. Ever since this childish relationship I had with a girl when I was in 5th grade, I have been unable to find the girl for me and have been turned down several times by girls I've thought were interested. The more time passes, the more I begin to think finding love is hopeless, but yet here I am finding myself head over hills for someone who I'm afraid will reject me once again...

 

The girl is 18 years old and someone I've known for a year now due to working together, a girl that is physically stunning and has a beautiful personality, someone that I could see myself dating if I were ever given the chance. When we first met, she already had a boyfriend, a friend of mine (more so "acquaintance") who I wouldn't dare come between because I don't believe in being the wrecking ball of relationships, so I kept my distance but remained loyal to them both. Months have gone and their relationship is rocky, and though I rarely speak with the boyfriend, because we work together I always end up noticing when she's in the dumps and comforting her by discussing the situation, being that friend in which she can confide... but it seems that with every single meeting and conversation, my infatuation with her grows stronger... even though she's taken, I can't get her out of my mind.

 

Fast forward to a few months before now, and her and the guy finally split for good. I realize this is my chance and that God has finally thrown me a bone, but my own low self-esteem and fear of rejection forces me into a corner in which I can't express how I truly feel. However, at one point while texting one another late at night, something motivates me and I finally decide to ask if we could hang out somewhere besides work... but she completely ignores that part of the text and replies that she is sorry and had fallen asleep. There was that feeling again... rejection. Admittedly, I'm extremely stubborn when it comes to allowing myself to get hurt again so I distanced myself from her by rarely speaking to her both at work and through text, and after finding a new job, speaking to one another became basically nonexistent.

 

Several months pass and I've forgotten her and moved on with my life, she's found a new job elsewhere also and it seems that we've basically fallen off the earth to one another... until I receive a text from her a week ago, wondering how I've been. She still lives in the neighborhood, and despite previously believing cutting off all interaction with her was the best for me, I caved and kept the conversation going, wanting to see if it'll work this time. We continue to text one another, never seeing each other in person, but I several times, I tell her that I think she's beautiful and is unlike anyone I've ever met, to which she constantly replies with heart symbols and how I'm her "best friend". Do I feel the same way? I do honestly put her in a category where she's a better "quality" of woman than what I've seen, but the fact that we've never hung out and have only texted here and there make me hesitant to call her my "best friend" too. I find it weird that she thinks that despite our limited interactions, but I want to believe that calling me that is her way of saying "i have feelings for you".

 

It's present day and I, once again, muster the courage to ask her to hang out... and she replies joyfully that we can and should. The date comes that we both agree on and just before I leave to pick her up... she texts me that a family problem has occurred and postpones until another day. I know things like this happen, but I can't help but wonder... is she playing games with me? Should I stop myself now before I continue to get high hopes from her just so they may get crushed, or am I just not expressing myself in a way that she wants to be more openly and obviously intimate with me? Thanks.

[fungusamungus]

Yes, "best friend" is basically code for just friends. You're not actually her best friend.