Author airwave2010 Posted March 20, 2013 Author Share Posted March 20, 2013 You just got back together, so the normal rules of your previous relationship dont apply here. You are so zappy because u have trust issues and its clear they havent been resolved I would not respond and let her miss me and want to talk i do not think, that will work.... she would consider that, as me trying to ruin her holiday. also we can't talk about our relationship problems, while she is on holiday with her family. the problem is, i am responding back to her text messages, straight away.... she is taking hours and hours Link to post Share on other sites
Tally123 Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 Airwave....I think it's very safe to say that you have totally lost the plot!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author airwave2010 Posted March 20, 2013 Author Share Posted March 20, 2013 Airwave....I think it's very safe to say that you have totally lost the plot!!! what do you mean? Link to post Share on other sites
Author airwave2010 Posted March 20, 2013 Author Share Posted March 20, 2013 When she texts you, you text her back. Otherwise, you can send her an occasional text every other day to let her know you are thinking of her. When people are on vacation, they are in a different mindset and are occupied by their family, the sights and sounds, etc. She's not sitting by her phone waiting for communication. She is preoccupied. Again, if she contacts, respond. If you don't hear from her, don't panic. You can send a text every other day. Keep your contact to a minimum. You sound like you're in an absolute frenzy. I dread to think of how you will react if she ever said she is going on a vacation with her girlfriends one day. but if you loved & missed your partner, wouldn't you want to stay in touch? why would you forget about your partner Link to post Share on other sites
geegirl Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 I get that you are worried. I understand you don't feel secure in the relationship since you're both trying to get back on your feet. The is no winning with you. You give her the choice of no contact but she says she wants to contact. When she contacts, you freak about that too because it's bound by all these terms and speculations and rules. When she says she text you in a bit. Don't force a timeline. Expect that she will text, period. Stop sitting there and counting the minutes. I tell people I will text in a bit and it just means I will text back. Stop enforcing all these rules. When people are on vacation, they get pulled away in different directions. They get distracted. They get caught up with their families, things going on around them. It's not like she has not made contact, she is trying. Just keep your contact to a minimum. If she reaches out, reply. If she does not, you are allowed to contact at least every other day. No need to text everyday. Link to post Share on other sites
Own Worst Enemy Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 but if it is coming across to her, you'll drive her away. set yourself a rule. when she texts you, you can reply. you can make that an hour, you can mirror how long she took to reply to you the previous time, you can make it 24 hours... whatever it takes. that might give you some structure to deal with it. i understand how it feels. i have spent sleepless nights staring at my phone and blackberry when i knew the ex was out with his mates, waiting for the usual updates and absolutely killing myself when they didn't arrive. but critically i never let him know that. ever. but you have to find a way to control yourself. because feeling like this is terrible for your mental health and self esteem. whatever it takes to get a grip, you need to do it. Link to post Share on other sites
Tally123 Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 I mean you've lost the plot, lost your marbles, lost your senses, taken a knock to the head!?! Plese read these posts back and realise how it all sounds. I seriously thought you were a 17 year old boy when I was reading the posts, until I saw that you wrote something about "her son". WTF? How old are you? Of course she is going to take longer texting back whilst on holiday because erm.....she's on holiday?! She doesn't even have to be texting you every day as it is, I certainly wouldnt be! You need to seriously chill!!! I can't say much more than that! Link to post Share on other sites
geegirl Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 but if you loved & missed your partner, wouldn't you want to stay in touch? why would you forget about your partner She is staying in touch! You can stay in touch too. It doesn't have to be every day that you need to text. Let her come to you as well between days. Link to post Share on other sites
Author airwave2010 Posted March 20, 2013 Author Share Posted March 20, 2013 well it has been 4 hours and she has not text me back. i am ok about it.... i will only respond to her, when she texts me, and i will not respond straight away... will give it a little time as she is taking her time to text me back. but ultimitaly i have one important question???? if she hardly bothers with me all week? and does not make an effort to stay in touch, or she stops contacting me all together. say from example i do not hear from her, for a couple of days should i get back together with her? she wants me to move in with her etc etc... but if she is willing to forget about me on holiday, then is there even a future Link to post Share on other sites
geegirl Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 Airwave, she is on vacation. People will take hours to text you back because they're distracted and consumed by family and everything that is going on around them. When my boyfriend took his boys for vacation a few months ago with his parents, I hardly texted him. He made all the contact, mostly before going to bed. No set rules. No timelines. No expectations. You are getting ahead of yourself. One step at a time. One issue at a time. She is contacting you so stop worrying about what if she doesn't bother with you all week. WHEN she stops contacting you, then you can address it. She has not forgotten you on her holiday as she is contacting you. You need to decide if getting back together will happen 1) if you can ever trust her 2) has she even changed. Not based on whether she keeps round the clock contact with you while on vacation. Link to post Share on other sites
ThatJustHappened Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 well it has been 4 hours and she has not text me back. i am ok about it.... i will only respond to her, when she texts me, and i will not respond straight away... will give it a little time as she is taking her time to text me back. but ultimitaly i have one important question???? if she hardly bothers with me all week? and does not make an effort to stay in touch, or she stops contacting me all together. say from example i do not hear from her, for a couple of days should i get back together with her? she wants me to move in with her etc etc... but if she is willing to forget about me on holiday, then is there even a future She said good morning and she loves you, you said good morning and you love her too. There's no reason to expect another text after that. Maybe she just has nothing else to say at the moment. Do you expect her to text you all day every day? Dude..you sound completely unhinged. This relationship is doomed. Link to post Share on other sites
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