anne1707 Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 what a load of rubbish you come out with.... That was rather rude of you! she told me she was going to sleep, i did not text her once, or ring her once after that... No. It wasn't once. It was twice! As per this: she sent me a text message about 4 hours ago, saying she is going to have her dinner, then she is going to bed to sleep (this is around 3pm, during the day) when she goes to sleep, she does not text back or take calls so i text her back & said i will call your bedroom phone & we can chat for a while... she then changed her mind about going to sleep and decided to go to the shops instead. then when she came back to her room later, we talked for about 10 mins and she then said to me, she is going to get some sleep now... and she will text me, when she wakes up. so i said, ok no problem, will speak to you soon. about half an hour later, i rang her back, because i forgot to give her my landline number..... but she was up doing her nails? i said thought u was going to sleep.... she then said, i could not sleep... so decided to do my nails. Link to post Share on other sites
Author airwave2010 Posted March 19, 2013 Author Share Posted March 19, 2013 I'm about ready to give up....DUDE!!! You called her back and was doing her nails!! She was in her room, not running around, not out of breath and quitely moaning...She was in her room. Dude, if you don't get a handle on these insecurities, you're gonna lose this girl. You need to get some individual counseling to help you get a handle on things. From what you wrote, there are no red flags that are popping my Spidey senses off. Someone already wrote that you need to trust her until you don't have a reason to. If you can't trust her or give her the benefit of the doubt, you have NO relationship. i know something is wrong.... she has pulled stunts like this with me before!!! only 3 months ago, she told me she was going out to her friends for a drink & a chat.... i texted her a couple of times, when she was at this so called freinds, but she would not reply back!!!! it was around 11pm at night.... she sent me random blunt text saying..... I DO NOT FEEL WELL, GOING TO BED, NIGHT so i looked at this text & thought.... huh is something wrong with her, is she sick so i rang her landline, and spoke to her son....... guess what? she was not even at home.... she was not unwell in bed, or going to sleep!!! she was still out..... so why send me that bloody text. i tell you why, because if i think she is asleep, then she does not have to respond to my calls or text messages it was a massive red flag, that i chose to ignore & i am sure, she is doing the same again Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 Well, if she's causing you so much stress and anxiety and you can't trust her, then the best course of action is to relieve yourself of that burden and break up with her. Might not be what you want to hear, but what other course of action do you have. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Amelie1980 Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 Have you not listened to a word I said? Leave her ALONE! Make her wonder where you are for a change. If you can't do that then I give up Link to post Share on other sites
Author airwave2010 Posted March 19, 2013 Author Share Posted March 19, 2013 i just want people to understand, i am not some paranoid fruit cake lol she has pulled these types of stunts on me, a couple of times i cant exactly dump her, on her holiday i am just going to back off, and let her do what she wants. i have to take myself out of this anxiety Link to post Share on other sites
CaliBabe Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 Airwave, you have two options here buddy. Trust her and give her space while on vacation without thinking shes cheating on you, or break up with her. You seem to have extreme anxiety and that is not healthy for you. There are reasons why you are like this from your past experiences with her, but you have to either forgive her and move forward in a healthy way or end it. You seem to be miserable. I can tell you, as a woman, having a man be needy, check up on me as if he doesn't trust me, constantly finding out what I'm doing would be a major turn off. Like another poster said, you should not be so available when she reaches out to you and she would be the one trying to hunt you down. If it were me, I would have done that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author airwave2010 Posted March 19, 2013 Author Share Posted March 19, 2013 i have backed off.... if she cheats on me, then she cheats on me... the truth will out one day for now i will back off.... and let her want to contact me.... the truth is, i doubt she will contact me much... as i know i care about her, much more than she does about me Link to post Share on other sites
Author airwave2010 Posted March 20, 2013 Author Share Posted March 20, 2013 i know i have been to give my girlfriend space on her holiday... but she has been initiating contact with me yesterday, so just replied back to some of her messages... today i have heard nothing from her.... but it is the anniversery of her mothers death today, that is one of the reasons why they went on this family holiday. should i text her & just tell her to have a nice day? would i be out of order not to text her today? Link to post Share on other sites
Amelie1980 Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 i know i have been to give my girlfriend space on her holiday... but she has been initiating contact with me yesterday, so just replied back to some of her messages... today i have heard nothing from her.... but it is the anniversery of her mothers death today, that is one of the reasons why they went on this family holiday. should i text her & just tell her to have a nice day? would i be out of order not to text her today? How many times do you have to e told the same thing. LEAVE IT ALONE. The best thing you could do switch your phone off until she comes back. Link to post Share on other sites
Author airwave2010 Posted March 20, 2013 Author Share Posted March 20, 2013 why should i lose her for a few days....... she has been staying in touch with me, and contacting me, pretty much everyday so far. but she seems to text or ring me, when it suites her. so i should still forget her for a couple of days, even tho she is keeping intouch Link to post Share on other sites
Author airwave2010 Posted March 20, 2013 Author Share Posted March 20, 2013 i don't want to sound arrogant or rude, and i appreciate your guys help. but every time she gets in touch with me, she tells me "she is on the beach" she is at the bar i worry about, who she is on the beach with, is she with another man etc etc i think i would find it easier, if i was not in touch with her at all, but if i break contact with her.... i know she will hold that against me i suppose i just need to trust her & if she cheats, then i will never know about it Link to post Share on other sites
Amelie1980 Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 why should i lose her for a few days....... she has been staying in touch with me, and contacting me, pretty much everyday so far. but she seems to text or ring me, when it suites her. so i should still forget her for a couple of days, even tho she is keeping intouch She is on holiday with he family to acknowledge the anniversary of he mothers death. OF COURSE SHE IS GOING TO CONTACT YOU AT HER CONVENIENCE!!!!! What is wrong with you? You seriously need to split up. this just isn't healthy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author airwave2010 Posted March 20, 2013 Author Share Posted March 20, 2013 well make your mind up..... you tell me to lose contact with her..... then expect me to be understanding towards her Link to post Share on other sites
Author airwave2010 Posted March 20, 2013 Author Share Posted March 20, 2013 She is on holiday with he family to acknowledge the anniversary of he mothers death. OF COURSE SHE IS GOING TO CONTACT YOU AT HER CONVENIENCE!!!!! What is wrong with you? You seriously need to split up. this just isn't healthy. you told me to switch my phone off & not bother with her a bit ago. it would be easier for me & for her... if we did not keep in touch, till she got back... but if a just switch my phone off, she will not understand Link to post Share on other sites
Amelie1980 Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 well make your mind up..... you tell me to lose contact with her..... then expect me to be understanding towards her that was before you told us about her mothers death and the purpose of the holiday. Don't drip feed information and expect people to advise properly when they don't know the story. Link to post Share on other sites
Author airwave2010 Posted March 20, 2013 Author Share Posted March 20, 2013 Well don't advice me then, thank you for you imput so far. Take care & good luck on here Link to post Share on other sites
Author airwave2010 Posted March 20, 2013 Author Share Posted March 20, 2013 that was before you told us about her mothers death and the purpose of the holiday. Don't drip feed information and expect people to advise properly when they don't know the story. Well don't advice me from this moment on then, thank you for you imput so far. Take care & good luck on here Link to post Share on other sites
Author airwave2010 Posted March 20, 2013 Author Share Posted March 20, 2013 lose her number for a few days. actually turn off your phone and throw away your sim, you can always get a replacement. let her call u and want to want to talk with u she is making some contact with me, it's not like she totally ignoring me, but i am leaving the contact to her.... i,m not sure if dropping all contact with her for 3 days, will be a good idea, as she might take it the wrong way. but... for my own sanity..... i really do want to lose contact, till she gets back Link to post Share on other sites
Author airwave2010 Posted March 20, 2013 Author Share Posted March 20, 2013 Airwave, you have two options here buddy. Trust her and give her space while on vacation without thinking shes cheating on you, or break up with her. You seem to have extreme anxiety and that is not healthy for you. There are reasons why you are like this from your past experiences with her, but you have to either forgive her and move forward in a healthy way or end it. You seem to be miserable. I can tell you, as a woman, having a man be needy, check up on me as if he doesn't trust me, constantly finding out what I'm doing would be a major turn off. Like another poster said, you should not be so available when she reaches out to you and she would be the one trying to hunt you down. If it were me, I would have done that. she is keeping in touch with me... i get the odd text message off her & we spoke on the phone last night. it is still very difficult tho, i am still very worried. for my sanity, it would be easier for me to stop talking to her, till she gets back..... but i,m not sure she would like it, if i broke all contact with her Link to post Share on other sites
Amelie1980 Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 Well don't advice me from this moment on then, thank you for you imput so far. Take care & good luck on here Idont think anyone is going TO bother advising you pretty soon. Link to post Share on other sites
Author airwave2010 Posted March 20, 2013 Author Share Posted March 20, 2013 ok well thank you for you imput so far . take care, dont need anymore advice of you, but appreciated Link to post Share on other sites
Author airwave2010 Posted March 20, 2013 Author Share Posted March 20, 2013 Idont think anyone is going TO bother advising you pretty soon. ok well thank you for you imput so far . take care, dont need anymore advice of you, but it's been appreciated Link to post Share on other sites
Author airwave2010 Posted March 20, 2013 Author Share Posted March 20, 2013 What are u ? her man-biatch ? She went on holiday, let her miss u. she sent me this text this morning.... "morning babe, i am just on the beach, walking along the beach now... will text you bit later on... love you x" i texted back after 10mins "morning, okay babe, love you" what am i supposed to do with a message like that from her..... just ignore her? i ahve not heard anything back from her by the way Link to post Share on other sites
geegirl Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 When she texts you, you text her back. Otherwise, you can send her an occasional text every other day to let her know you are thinking of her. When people are on vacation, they are in a different mindset and are occupied by their family, the sights and sounds, etc. She's not sitting by her phone waiting for communication. She is preoccupied. Again, if she contacts, respond. If you don't hear from her, don't panic. You can send a text every other day. Keep your contact to a minimum. You sound like you're in an absolute frenzy. I dread to think of how you will react if she ever said she is going on a vacation with her girlfriends one day. Link to post Share on other sites
Author airwave2010 Posted March 20, 2013 Author Share Posted March 20, 2013 When she texts you, you text her back. Otherwise, you can send her an occasional text every other day to let her know you are thinking of her. When people are on vacation, they are in a different mindset and are occupied by their family, the sights and sounds, etc. She's not sitting by her phone waiting for communication. She is preoccupied. Again, if she contacts, respond. If you don't hear from her, don't panic. You can send a text every other day. Keep your contact to a minimum. You sound like you're in an absolute frenzy. I dread to think of how you will react if she ever said she is going on a vacation with her girlfriends one day. this is what people don't understand.... if me and her, was in a solid loving relationship & she went away, i would not be this worried. the reason why i am so worried is because we only got back together 1 week ago.... we was meant to build some trust back into the relationship, but she had to go on his holiday. because it was with her family, i did not want to stop her . before she left, i gave her a choice..... i told her, we do not need to stay in touch for the week... i told her, to enjoy her holiday & we can talk again, when she gets back... but she insisted on us staying in touch every single day. what bothers me is, she tells me, she will text me in a bit, then i don't hear from her in hours... so i have decided to stay in touch with her, but at a minimal.... i will text her once or twice a day & just let her miss me Link to post Share on other sites
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