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Tell me that getting re-involved with him is a bad idea


Eternal Sunshine

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Eternal Sunshine
First of all, no.

 

Second, change you cell number so he can't reach you again.

 

 

Yeah, not gonna be his friend anymore. I mean I really have no interest in hearing about his day and his problems. He is just some stranger I attempted to date. I will not respond to anything further.

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hestheone66

sometimes we feel we need to be punished on a level..

 

we seek out partners that allow our poor self esteem to be justified

 

we seek out unavailable people because we fear intimacy

 

we want to be wanted, but don't want to commit

 

 

i can relate to all of these at various times in life.. where what seemed like a good justifiable reason (and all my friends were throwing their hands in the air in horror at my choices, which I simply couldn't see the problems they saw) when i look back i think to myself 'what was I thinking?"

 

making a bad choice with someone, having second thoughts about entering a situation is a call to put that thought on hold for several more months, without nec jumping into investing into the relationship further..

 

see how you feel about this guy after you have dated several others.. sometimes our loneliness or feeling like 'it's the best i'm likely to get' will lead to these poor choices.. letting yourself be available for others sorts out the feelings in your own mind..

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Eternal Sunshine
sometimes we feel we need to be punished on a level..

 

we seek out partners that allow our poor self esteem to be justified

 

we seek out unavailable people because we fear intimacy

 

we want to be wanted, but don't want to commit

 

 

i can relate to all of these at various times in life.. where what seemed like a good justifiable reason (and all my friends were throwing their hands in the air in horror at my choices, which I simply couldn't see the problems they saw) when i look back i think to myself 'what was I thinking?"

 

making a bad choice with someone, having second thoughts about entering a situation is a call to put that thought on hold for several more months, without nec jumping into investing into the relationship further..

 

see how you feel about this guy after you have dated several others.. sometimes our loneliness or feeling like 'it's the best i'm likely to get' will lead to these poor choices.. letting yourself be available for others sorts out the feelings in your own mind..

 

Oh I have had commitment issues most of my life ;)

 

But this guy is no prize. I learned a lot about him in our few months long text friendship that turned me off. He is not even close to what I imagined him to be when we first met.

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You sound bored more than interested. Sort of a "He'll do" attitude. I doubt you would last long if you started seeing him. Best to just keep him as a sort of friend. Unless you want to kill time.

 

From the sound of it - I don't think either of you are all that interested.

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Eternal Sunshine
You sound bored more than interested. Sort of a "He'll do" attitude. I doubt you would last long if you started seeing him. Best to just keep him as a sort of friend. Unless you want to kill time.

 

From the sound of it - I don't think either of you are all that interested.

 

Yeah I feel detached now. I was actually highly interested before he suggested FWB but then my interest went dooooooooown.

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truth_seeker

He texts you when he is drunk - how charming. You're an adult woman and need to know if you should see him again? Your gut is already telling you no. Go with your gut.

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Eternal Sunshine
He texts you when he is drunk - how charming. You're an adult woman and need to know if you should see him again? Your gut is already telling you no. Go with your gut.

 

Most of the time he texted me was during day hours and when he wasn't drunk...but anyway already decided to move on.

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  • 2 weeks later...
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Eternal Sunshine

He is still trying to convince me to give things with him a go.

 

He is now saying BS how he thought I was too good for him and he got intimidated and scared and then screwed things up...How he never really wanted FWB crap blah blah...I simply don't believe that he is sincere.

 

I have not given him "yes" or "no" answer. I keep saying that I want to be friends. I guess at one point I was HIGHLY attracted to him and then it all went wrong. I was also always highly nervous around him...I am much more comfortable in the friendship role. I dunno. I am not sure.

 

I tell him about other guys and he keeps checking up on me going on dates and stuff. Maybe I should talk to him in person and just tell him my concerns and get a better sense of this. But the thing is, my gut is telling me that he is a bad bet.

 

It's so hard to meet a guy that is sexy and intelligent and edgy and dark in the way I like :/

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I suppose I don't understand why you want to stay even just 'friends' with someone like this. Do you need a snake in your circle of friends? Someone is not genuine and insincere?

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What a loaded question :laugh:

 

Both if you must know :rolleyes:

 

Ooooooh! ES!!! :bunny:

 

You owe me a goss laden pm apparently!! :love:

 

As to the guy who is the topic of this thread, all I'd be asking myself in your shoes is "hmmm how bored am I?" and using that as the guiding factor :laugh:

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In a situation like that, I ignore all communication. I don't need to repeat my mistakes. I learn quickly!

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  • 2 weeks later...
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Eternal Sunshine

Well, I wrapped this up.

 

We tried to meet up to talk in person, but I kept re-scheduling because my interest level was so low :(

 

He kept contacting me so I wrote him a "Dear John" letter. Pretty sure I won't be receiving any more contact.

 

Never doing FWB again :(

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I never saw him again. He sometimes texts drunk at 2am

 

This is what they call still on a hook... I wonder how many other girls he drunk texts to till one finally nibbles on his bait.

 

ES, don't recycle... it isn't good for your environment.

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Well, I wrapped this up.

 

We tried to meet up to talk in person, but I kept re-scheduling because my interest level was so low :(

 

He kept contacting me so I wrote him a "Dear John" letter. Pretty sure I won't be receiving any more contact.

 

Never doing FWB again :(

 

chin up, another is right around the corner :)

 

I just realized that my other post was replying to an old post..

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