MissBee Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 Stevie made a post that reminded me so much of when I was in the A, and that is, the often weird/funny/crazy/out of the way things you'd have to sometimes do to achieve a sense of normalcy while in the A. Some stuff in a normal R setting are no brainers and don't cause strife, but within the parameters of an A, are so extra! Lots have to do with how you can spend time together and arrange your lives so you can feel like things are normal between you. Examples: planning to celebrate holidays the day before/after the actual day, rearranging routines so you can fit in chatting/seeing them, for me, I remember when he came to visit me once, his cell phone's network wasn't working with the one in the States and he needed to check in with his SO about their child, and he ended up using my phone, blocking my number, and calling her OR he would have her call his friend's cell and his friend would call me and ask for him then his friend would join the calls on 3 way so that all would seem normal like he was staying with his friend. Too much! In a normal R, well none of that would be necessary. Share the funny/crazy/bizarre things you had/have to plan or do to achieve normalcy within your A that you sometimes have to think whaat??! Link to post Share on other sites
LFH Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 Stevie made a post that reminded me so much of when I was in the A, and that is, the often weird/funny/crazy/out of the way things you'd have to sometimes do to achieve a sense of normalcy while in the A. Some stuff in a normal R setting are no brainers and don't cause strife, but within the parameters of an A, are so extra! Lots have to do with how you can spend time together and arrange your lives so you can feel like things are normal between you. Examples: planning to celebrate holidays the day before/after the actual day, rearranging routines so you can fit in chatting/seeing them, for me, I remember when he came to visit me once, his cell phone's network wasn't working with the one in the States and he needed to check in with his SO about their child, and he ended up using my phone, blocking my number, and calling her OR he would have her call his friend's cell and his friend would call me and ask for him then his friend would join the calls on 3 way so that all would seem normal like he was staying with his friend. Too much! In a normal R, well none of that would be necessary. Share the funny/crazy/bizarre things you had/have to plan or do to achieve normalcy within your A that you sometimes have to think whaat??! I guess celebrating on a holiday that might not be on THE holiday would be "abnormal" for some people, but I've done that all my life in my "core" family so it's normal to me My dad worked swing shift from the time I was about 5 on and from the time I stopped believing in Santa until I moved out we only got to celebrate Christmas on Dec 25th once. Now that my dad doesn't do that, I usually spend the day with them and my extended family anyhow. So our celebrations often occur on an alternate day, but I've never minded. I've had a policy from day 1, not just with him but with any relationship I've ever had because I saw so many girls lose themselves over guys. If I wouldn't change my plans for my sister, I'm not changing them for a guy. Just not happening. What do I mean by that? I mean that if I planned to sit around the house and eat popcorn and watch silly movies on tv, and my sister called and said "Hey wanna go to a movie" chances are I'd change my plans and do that instead. If HE called and asked me I'd change my plans too. Now if I had plans to go out shopping with a girlfriend and go for drinks or something and he called, would I cancel? No. Not for him, not for my sister.. .although chances are either of those people would probably be invited to join us for drinks after. I don't hide, I don't avoid specific places, I'm not quiet if he needs to use the phone. I posted earlier today about how he's my boyfriend and if he wants to be he has to act like it. Those kind of antics aren't something I'm going to facilitate. Sheesh, no way. That would make me CRAZY. Um.. crazier. LOL We do have to make sure that all schedules are checked before we go on vacations and stuff though. It's an extra persons routine that needs to be factored in, that can be annoying, but I've never had to juggle like that. I think I'd have a really hard time with that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author MissBee Posted March 19, 2013 Author Share Posted March 19, 2013 I guess celebrating on a holiday that might not be on THE holiday would be "abnormal" for some people, but I've done that all my life in my "core" family so it's normal to me My dad worked swing shift from the time I was about 5 on and from the time I stopped believing in Santa until I moved out we only got to celebrate Christmas on Dec 25th once. Now that my dad doesn't do that, I usually spend the day with them and my extended family anyhow. So our celebrations often occur on an alternate day, but I've never minded. I've had a policy from day 1, not just with him but with any relationship I've ever had because I saw so many girls lose themselves over guys. If I wouldn't change my plans for my sister, I'm not changing them for a guy. Just not happening. What do I mean by that? I mean that if I planned to sit around the house and eat popcorn and watch silly movies on tv, and my sister called and said "Hey wanna go to a movie" chances are I'd change my plans and do that instead. If HE called and asked me I'd change my plans too. Now if I had plans to go out shopping with a girlfriend and go for drinks or something and he called, would I cancel? No. Not for him, not for my sister.. .although chances are either of those people would probably be invited to join us for drinks after. I don't hide, I don't avoid specific places, I'm not quiet if he needs to use the phone. I posted earlier today about how he's my boyfriend and if he wants to be he has to act like it. Those kind of antics aren't something I'm going to facilitate. Sheesh, no way. That would make me CRAZY. Um.. crazier. LOL We do have to make sure that all schedules are checked before we go on vacations and stuff though. It's an extra persons routine that needs to be factored in, that can be annoying, but I've never had to juggle like that. I think I'd have a really hard time with that. Yes dropping plans for a man in general is not a good practice, but unfortunately, in an A, sometimes to be with that person, one has to accept certain constrains. But with any relationship you accept or decline as it suits/doesn't suit you. I'm reminded of your thread on Ridiculousness....I think so much of that comes up in As . Some things, like the phone call rigmarole in my case, weren't things I had to do personally, but something I witnessed him do and I'm like the only reason he is doing this whole thing is because it's an A...otherwise this would be no big deal. But it was like in that moment I could step out of myself and look at it like wow...this is ridiculous! I think many times there have been moments like that for me where I'm like and this is only because it is an A why this is that why AND it is crazy lmao! Link to post Share on other sites
psm04 Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 Every time I have had to remove traces of any conversation/email that we have shared, every time we talk about all the things we would like to do with each other, but step back into reality and go back home to our families, etc, I'm reminded of how abnormal it all is. Sad thing is that, it will never be normal, and there is nothing I can do to make it normal! Just have to 'go with the flow'! Link to post Share on other sites
AnotherRound Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 I honestly can't think of anything that exMM and I had to do... I know that my situation was slightly different from others - but it just didn't factor in. In fact, had we had to do silly things like that phone thing you mentioned, I'm not sure I would have been willing to participate. Looking back, I guess we were pretty lucky really in that we did have a normal relationship - bc I wouldn't have been comfortable with anything like that or sneaking around and such. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
AnotherRound Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 Every time I have had to remove traces of any conversation/email that we have shared, every time we talk about all the things we would like to do with each other, but step back into reality and go back home to our families, etc, I'm reminded of how abnormal it all is. Sad thing is that, it will never be normal, and there is nothing I can do to make it normal! Just have to 'go with the flow'! It's interesting that you say this - my exMM expressed something like this to me before. He was talking about how different his "lives" were and how when he would leave my house and go back to his home that he would have these internal dialogues about the differences. He said that he would think to himself, "this is effed up this life - what a crazy life". And expressed that at times he had trouble coming to terms with the two separate lives he was leading and why it was necessary and how he wished it could be different. I think ideally, if he could have been happy in his marriage - that is what he would have wanted. But since that wasn't possible, and he didn't want to give up his children and other things that marriage entailed, he just kind of resigned himself to having to live this crazy life. Sounds like you and he are kind of on the same page with that one. I couldn't really relate since I live just one life and have all I need within that one life and don't have the need to branch out to a second life to be content. Interesting... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
neveragain34 Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 My A wasn't as complicated since the wife lived 8 hours away, but when he did go home to visit, we had texting codes (we would text and he would end a text with RS <radio silence> if I couldn't reply anymore). He was a dentist and also had me saved as "my name-dental asst". (I am not his dental assistant.) As for special occasions, the only holiday that occurred during our relationship was Thanksgiving and I was out of town on vacation with family which made it much more bareable. (She came to our town with their kids for Thanksgiving.) There was also my bday...he was making one of his home visits during the week of my birthday. We celebrated the weekend before, but the day of my bday, we each drove 4 hours to meet in a city in the middle of where he was and I lived. (He told wife he needed to service his car and the nearest dealership is 4 hours away.) Ugh! I don't miss these complications at all! Thanks for the reminder. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MissBee Posted March 20, 2013 Author Share Posted March 20, 2013 (edited) My A wasn't as complicated since the wife lived 8 hours away, but when he did go home to visit, we had texting codes (we would text and he would end a text with RS <radio silence> if I couldn't reply anymore). He was a dentist and also had me saved as "my name-dental asst". (I am not his dental assistant.) As for special occasions, the only holiday that occurred during our relationship was Thanksgiving and I was out of town on vacation with family which made it much more bareable. (She came to our town with their kids for Thanksgiving.) There was also my bday...he was making one of his home visits during the week of my birthday. We celebrated the weekend before, but the day of my bday, we each drove 4 hours to meet in a city in the middle of where he was and I lived. (He told wife he needed to service his car and the nearest dealership is 4 hours away.) Ugh! I don't miss these complications at all! Thanks for the reminder. My dad and his OW had texting codes. My A wasn't that complicated either because they didn't live together, so he could get away with more thing without actively lying and scheming. But nevertheless there were moments/incidences where I was like wtf...reality check...this is an A! Once he asked me to come stay at his home on a visit. In a regular R that would have been a no-brainer, sure I'll come stay with you. But there I was, although he tried to assure me it would be fine, I was like are you crazy??? And if your SO pop up then what? Smh, the fact that I had to think about that, I was like ugghhh! Although they didn't live together, I would not have felt at ease staying at his place at all. Him coming by my place was where we could be normal, but it was always this one-sided thing, where when he was visiting me, we could be a regular couple out and about but when I visited him, it was riskier. A AR and LFH mentioned, in MY life he was no secret and I had no one to hide him from, but that didn't change the fact that in HIS life I was a secret to at least one person, which made it so that he had to do things to account for that. Edited March 20, 2013 by MissBee Link to post Share on other sites
Got it Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 You know there wasn't a lot. I mean it may have meant I wasn't with him on a holiday or two but I had that happen with spouse because of conflicting family obligations. I saw similar with my siblings. So there was that or not calling his house at night though I could call the cell. I don't know, I lead a pretty boring affair, so not a lot of hoop jumping on my part. I guess I viewed it as his baby to rock so maybe this would be a better question for him. (We did discuss the beginning days last night at dinner, what happened, why it happened, what we were thinking, etc. and I stated the above to him). He just rolled his eyes, called me high maintenance and smiled. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MissBee Posted March 20, 2013 Author Share Posted March 20, 2013 You know there wasn't a lot. I mean it may have meant I wasn't with him on a holiday or two but I had that happen with spouse because of conflicting family obligations. I saw similar with my siblings. So there was that or not calling his house at night though I could call the cell. I don't know, I lead a pretty boring affair, so not a lot of hoop jumping on my part. I guess I viewed it as his baby to rock so maybe this would be a better question for him. (We did discuss the beginning days last night at dinner, what happened, why it happened, what we were thinking, etc. and I stated the above to him). He just rolled his eyes, called me high maintenance and smiled. I think for me, knowing someone can't be with me because they genuinely have work or something innocuous like that versus knowing they can't because they have a family and another relationship to tend to feels very different. So while it is the "same" in that in both cases they will not be around, the reason why made a difference and contributed to the feeling of it being abnormal. I think once you know your reality, it is hard to unknow it, so to speak. So for me, while my A was not tumultuous, there was no dday, he didn't live with her, I called at any time, etc. there were still points where the fact it was an A bled into the relationship and where something had to be done differently because of the fact it was an A...and sometimes I'd be like wow...really? Then I'd start comparing and being annoyed like, you know if this wasn't an A, I would not have to do xyz. One such thing was, he would spend some weekends with his SO, who worked out of town. He didn't want to hurt me...as the reality was, I was sharing. It wasn't a case where he was saying they were out of love and so forth, but he was a man maintaining 2 relationship, sex and the lot included I'm sure. So when he would be with her, he would tell me before hand "I'll be going to Place X this weekend." Place X became his indirect way of saying, I'm going to be with her this weekend, so please understand no calls will be made/accepted. It was never a big production and I think I just compartmentalized and when he told me that, I just didn't think about what he was REALLY doing but sort of imagined it like oh he's out of town on business. The knowledge that my boyfriend was with another woman who also felt he was her man, and I had to be the one to know I couldn't call, whereas she was living her life, unaware of any such restrictions on her time irked me. I'm certain he would not tell her, well I'll be with MissBee...so don't call . That was one of the big things that I felt we attempted to normalize and distort in some ways...but the truth was the truth and it felt very different when you know for a fact your boyfriend is out of town dealing with family/business versus knowing he's with another woman. Link to post Share on other sites
Got it Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 I understand, I guess I saw it that when he wasn't with me he was with his kids so it didn't impact me as much. Same went after separation/divorce I was not intergrated with the kids for a good year or two after everything. I wanted him to focus on his relationship with them, rebuild and strengthen their relationship as (even now) I don't want them to feel that to have a relationship with him means I am there attached at the hip. Even now, when they are here, I always give some time where it is just him and the kids so they can continue to bond. I run errands, visit friends, etc. for a few hours each time so we have a good give and take. So being separated from him for the kids, whether it was home with the wife, or after divorced or now, it just doesn't feel different for me. Maybe if I worried that there was something between them that would have caused me to feel upset. Thinking about it, the one time that I realized having a meltdown over something like this, we had just started and they had a vacation planned back home. So we went from contact all the time to limited since they were staying with family. So I would get the one minute call randomly, etc. Well lasted a couple days like that, had a huge fit and said call me when you got home, this one minute call at odd hours was for the birds! I was not going to deal with that and have my days held prisoner on the off chance he would call. So I shut off communication and didn't talk to him until he came home. So there you go, a mistress meltdown! Link to post Share on other sites
stevie_23 Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 Yeah…dropping plans to be with a man is NOT good for your own self respect and your life’s interests and happiness…it’s like you drop YOURSELF to be with HIM. And that is SO frowned upon in standard relationships. In an AFFAIR however, if you actually want to spend any time with your AP, you HAVE to drop things and change plans and work around your existing LIFE to do that, so you are kind of required to drop your whole self for that person. And it’s not even the PERSON who requires you to do this, it’s the affair itself. The “ASS”, if you will – Affair Specific Situation (I just made that up then. Pretty good, eh? LOL) Yet another reason why most affairs SUCK – because they require you to lose yourself just to be with your AP in the “ASS”. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author MissBee Posted March 20, 2013 Author Share Posted March 20, 2013 Yeah…dropping plans to be with a man is NOT good for your own self respect and your life’s interests and happiness…it’s like you drop YOURSELF to be with HIM. And that is SO frowned upon in standard relationships. In an AFFAIR however, if you actually want to spend any time with your AP, you HAVE to drop things and change plans and work around your existing LIFE to do that, so you are kind of required to drop your whole self for that person. And it’s not even the PERSON who requires you to do this, it’s the affair itself. The “ASS”, if you will – Affair Specific Situation (I just made that up then. Pretty good, eh? LOL) Yet another reason why most affairs SUCK – because they require you to lose yourself just to be with your AP in the “ASS”. LOL! Love it...but this makes sense. The dynamic itself can be very messed up, even if the persons in it themselves may have a good relationship outside of that, but the dynamic can foster some bizarre, messed up and distorted behaviors. I hear those saying they had to do nothing different in the A...I would push back on that and ask if they are SURE about that? But for the most part, most people have to at least do some things differently because of the ASS lol. Example: while I have no intention of being pregnant anytime soon, when I dated my single boyfriend, I remember us discussing hypothetically how we would proceed if that occurred. His response was that it wouldn't be the worst thing because I was his gf and he loved me and he has a career and it would be fine. That made me feel really secure. I also thought of this with my exAP...and we discussed it, he said, he'd drop everything and come to where I was and we'd figure out what we wanted to do. Now can you imagine how the latter case would play out? I know he wouldn't abandon me but it is a VERY different kettle of fish having a baby with your boyfriend whose family knows you and know you're a couple versus having a baby with your affair partner whose SO doesn't know about your relationship, neither does their family and esp when they already have a child/children.The course of action and level of stress would be so much greater! It wasn't a constant fear but I remember being esp cognizant of that in the A whereas I was less worried about it with my single boyfriend. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stevie_23 Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 Yes. EVERYTHING is more complicated. Because instead of just 2 people involved, it's any number of people, and you don't even have any CONTROL of those other people. If your MM's wife / kids are upset or something changes in their lives that then affects HIS life, it then results in it affecting YOUR life. It's quite...a helpless situation at times. For my A, it wasn’t such a case of sacrificing my normal life, because we were long distance so all we had to do was just spend time together online / text, etc which wasn’t really a stretch, but also BECAUSE of that limited means of contact, we felt such a desperate need to be together in that way ALL the time we POSSIBLY could. If that meant he didn’t go to a class he wanted to go to, or didn’t go and play music with a friend one night, or even cancelled a job he was going to do one morning so we could be together for an extra 2 hours…he would do it. If it meant I didn’t go to the beach even though the day was gorgeous, so I could be with him instead, I didn’t go to the beach. We halted our own lives to an extent in order to be together…and I mean, sometimes he really NEEDED to get out and play music to relax, and sometimes I REALLY wanted to go to the beach…but then, even when we did those things and “sacrificed” time together, we brought our cameras with us and filmed the whole time, talking to each other for the other to watch later. It was just really obsessive because there was no balance. Link to post Share on other sites
Silly_Girl Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 I didn't really experience much in the way of what's been described above. I wanted all his spare weekends (when he wasn't away doing other stuff) and couldn't have them all. That pi$$ed me off royally 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stevie_23 Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 I didn't really experience much in the way of what's been described above. I wanted all his spare weekends (when he wasn't away doing other stuff) and couldn't have them all. That pi$$ed me off royally Yeah, but see, you DID kind of experience what we've been talking about. You wanted all his spare weekends...and when you couldn't have them all, you were pi$$d off. If you and him had been living together in a "normal" relationship or marriage, would you have felt the same way if you didn't spend EVERY weekend together? ALL weekend? After a while, you may WANT him to do his own thing on the weekends just to get some peace and quiet! lol 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Got it Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 Yeah…dropping plans to be with a man is NOT good for your own self respect and your life’s interests and happiness…it’s like you drop YOURSELF to be with HIM. And that is SO frowned upon in standard relationships. In an AFFAIR however, if you actually want to spend any time with your AP, you HAVE to drop things and change plans and work around your existing LIFE to do that, so you are kind of required to drop your whole self for that person. And it’s not even the PERSON who requires you to do this, it’s the affair itself. The “ASS”, if you will – Affair Specific Situation (I just made that up then. Pretty good, eh? LOL) Yet another reason why most affairs SUCK – because they require you to lose yourself just to be with your AP in the “ASS”. I don't agree. I think it is subjective to each situation. I did not work my existing life around dMM. I still did everything I wanted to do and fit him in. No different than another boyfriend. You are going to rearrange things in all relationships but we choose how much and how we do it. It is up to you to keep your bar and it is up to the other person if they want/can meet it. Sure, in the beginning I saw him, and wanted to see him, all the time. But as time wears on, you settle in and then other interest/demands take priority. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Silly_Girl Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 Yeah, but see, you DID kind of experience what we've been talking about. You wanted all his spare weekends...and when you couldn't have them all, you were pi$$d off. If you and him had been living together in a "normal" relationship or marriage, would you have felt the same way if you didn't spend EVERY weekend together? ALL weekend? After a while, you may WANT him to do his own thing on the weekends just to get some peace and quiet! lol Ha, oh no, my fiance and I would spend all our time together if we could, bar the odd specific social event. I'm used to spending any and all free time with my boy (until last year) so I never have a need for quiet on-my-own time. Plus I've always had quite long hours/demanding jobs so that was my time, IYSWIM My ex-MM was off away with hobbies at least one weekend a month so the balance was perfect for me. Link to post Share on other sites
cocorico Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 None of the above. Link to post Share on other sites
Silly_Girl Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 I also find it interesting that very few OW have piped in on this thread to voice how they themselves gave more of themselves than they should have and how they gave up some self respect in this manner that would never had been given if they were not in an affair. I get it's hard to admit that you placed little value on yourself because it's not the proper way to be for strong assertive women............but yet the forum is littered with such examples all throughout the forum but just not here. Go figure. It might be that they do not perceive the difficulties they had in a relationship that wasn't working for them to be only attributable to the 'affair' label. Fpr example, my affair was hard at times, but the preposterous relationship I had prior made it look like a walk in the park. It's about perception I would say (yours? theirs?). 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author MissBee Posted March 20, 2013 Author Share Posted March 20, 2013 MissBee, your thread is a good one as I think you meant to show the divide between "most" affairs and other relationships where there aren't constrains on time, where you can go, what you can do, being around his friends, his family, your own family and friends, etc.. During the time I knew I was the ow I made many concessions, truthfully I lost a lot of myself during that time. Later on during our 2nd round, when I "thought" I was dating a separated man I again made too many concessions, gave too much leeway, didn't speak up when I should have, etc. Clearly I gave my power away more than I should have. I've always been pretty feisty, but with him, I conceded way too much, and get this, one reason that I did that is because since I'm the primary caretaker for my daughter, most of my life, my time has to be devoted to her. I also have great limitations on my freedom, so this worked in his favor as I can not just go at the drop of a hat and I have to be very selective about where I go and how long I can be gone and when I'm away from her, it's difficult to let go and relax because of my responsibilities for her. It still pisses me off that he used my vulnerability and my insecurities about this facet of my life against me, because it made it so easy for him to know that I wouldn't expect as much from him because of my own limited ability to be able to compromise. I also find it interesting that very few OW have piped in on this thread to voice how they themselves gave more of themselves than they should have and how they gave up some self respect in this manner that would never had been given if they were not in an affair. I get it's hard to admit that you placed little value on yourself because it's not the proper way to be for strong assertive women............but yet the forum is littered with such examples all throughout the forum but just not here. Go figure. Thanks for this thoughtful response LG. The idea from the thread was sparked by stevie's discussion of the things that would end up being such a big deal because it was an A and because time was limited, that would no have mattered at all if that weren't the case. So I thought yes, there is often a juggling act of creating what feels "normal" in an A. Just like an LDR...because some things aren't at your disposal, you have create a sense of togetherness and normalcy through different ways. Commonly, constant contact through video-chat, texts, emails etc. I think LDRs are sooo similar to As in many ways because of constrains and then having to create a normal with that in mind. I guess a short version of the question is: How do you create a normal with the limitations that exist in triangulated and secret relationships? I do remember an OW, forget who now, sharing that to be able to spend time together she would omit watching tv, wake up an hour earlier to meet for breakfast, and various changes to her schedule so that they could create time for them to be a couple. I was thinking along those lines too. Your MM was one of the worst I've heard of really. I'm truly sorry for all you went through. I think your case with your daughter, also adds to the attempt to create a "normal", when your regular life is already a bit atypical. We all make compromises, but I think it's important to figure out if you're compromising yourself, core values, and also, are you the one doing the majority of the "compromising"? Because if you're the one putting yourself out of your way while this other person isn't...it's no longer a compromise. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GreyhoundtoNowhere Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 it's true... putting it out there to see how you've let yourself become this person who works around this man's schedule just to be able to be with him is hard to admit. there was a time when i wouldn't make any plans on the 'off-chance' he would call and be able to see me. but sitting.... waiting... wasting my life away at my age seemed ridiculous. and it was so lonely. so, i don't do that anymore. but i'd be lying if i said that i wouldnt find a way to make it work wherever I am when that phone rings and it's him. and we don't really get normal. there's nothing normal about this. I'm learning to be alone for the first time ever (since my D), live my life, love myself, and when I'm with him-- I'm his. But, it's not really enough, of course. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
psm04 Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 there was a time when i wouldn't make any plans on the 'off-chance' he would call and be able to see me. I was the same way in the beginning, but had to force myself to not be constantly available for him but i'd be lying if i said that i wouldnt find a way to make it work wherever I am when that phone rings and it's him. Ditto.. Link to post Share on other sites
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